Spiders, Scary and Animals: SPIDERS!

SPIDERS!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while cleaning out my garage, I found a pregnant spider. I couldn't step on the spider without releasing the baby spiders, so I went inside to get a glass jar to trap it. While trying to relocate the spider, I accidentally stepped on it. I now have a bunch of baby spiders roaming around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 007

You deserved it 7 359

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Same thing different taste

Creeped out

By NotASpiderMan - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 958

You deserved it 6 218

Demon child

By PeanutlyDisabled - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 797

You deserved it 3 393

Snek

By snakeboy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for God knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowingly drove it around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 651

You deserved it 48 209

Neil Diamond was wrong

By LucyLollipop - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy and giving birth. Just as I sat down and started to relax, I spilled it all over myself and my in-law’s couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 271

You deserved it 938

Bad boy

By Shiva - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 788

You deserved it 9 674

Caught off guard

By dooommage - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 386

You deserved it 15 362

Brain fog

By FlyingCoffeeMonster - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Oreland

Today, I was having my morning coffee while getting ready for work. I grabbed clothes off the floor to throw in the hamper. I accidentally threw my full coffee instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 062

You deserved it 3 219

Customized

By gss - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I pulled one of my favorite hoodies out of my closet, and immediately noticed several large stains on it. Apparently, my dad had managed to open a hole in the roof and couldn't be bothered to patch it, so a squirrel got in and used my closet as a litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 516

You deserved it 2 280

Hang in there

By ouch - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 806

You deserved it 4 985

New nickname just dropped

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Midland

Today, I was talking with a very attractive coworker outside when a moth flew into my ear. I started screaming and hitting my ear because it was stuck and alive in my ear. I spent the rest of the day at the ER. I'm forever known as The Moth Lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 781

You deserved it 1 050

bethan1 4

Sunday 31 October 2010 12:42

For some reason I read this as "I found a pregnant sister" it was way cooler that way.

Lounia_fml 8

Sunday 31 October 2010 15:05

At 18 :P

Comments

Sparkiee93 3

Sunday 31 October 2010 16:34

Spiders don't give live birth? They lay eggs?

hitmanoo 16

Sunday 31 October 2010 16:42

this fml is bullish!t.

EnterSandman_fml 20

Sunday 31 October 2010 16:53

Spray spiders with Axe. They shrivel up almost instantaneously. It even works through screen windows.

SettoFail 9

Sunday 31 October 2010 16:56

I would die I ******* hate spiderd

mandycandy1288 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 17:02

this post is making me very nauseus. spiders being pregnant and squishing? yuck!!

Sammara 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 17:12

I think your best bet, at this point, is to get a runty pig and name it Wilbur. Maybe he can help convince the spiders to do something useful, like write things in their webs. You could be wealthy beyond your wildest dreams, and open a Pig and Spider Sanctuary with your newfound wealth!

robc32ca 4

Sunday 31 October 2010 19:45

and when Scarlet gets pissed at Wilbur she can spin a web Pork $2.50/pound

SamSayzRAWRZ 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 17:50

YLS because I'm SOOOOO afraid of spiders :-/

julian1179 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 17:53

spiders don't get pregnant, they lay eggs, if they where to be pregnant, that would make rem mammals, yet they are arachnids.

flirtyfaery 7

Sunday 31 October 2010 20:57

So every animal that gives birth to live young is a mammal??? hmmm. Go check your facts about that one.

LetsRollOut 2

Sunday 31 October 2010 21:32

Agreed. Example: Sharks give live birth and they're fishies. (:

Seddah 3

Tuesday 2 November 2010 22:47

Echidnas and platypuses lay eggs and they're mammals. Knowledge fail.

starile 19

Sunday 31 October 2010 18:20

How can you tell when a spider is pregnant?

iheartglasses 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 18:21

116, go back and take Zoology in high school. Not everything has to be a mammal to give live birth. Some snakes and sharks give live birth. Im not saying insects do, but Im saying youre wrong in your statement :)