Spiders, Scary and Animals: SPIDERS!

SPIDERS!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while cleaning out my garage, I found a pregnant spider. I couldn't step on the spider without releasing the baby spiders, so I went inside to get a glass jar to trap it. While trying to relocate the spider, I accidentally stepped on it. I now have a bunch of baby spiders roaming around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 007

You deserved it 7 359

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Same thing different taste

Creeped out

By NotASpiderMan - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 958

You deserved it 6 218

Demon child

By PeanutlyDisabled - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 797

You deserved it 3 393

Snek

By snakeboy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for God knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowingly drove it around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 651

You deserved it 48 209

Neil Diamond was wrong

By LucyLollipop - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy and giving birth. Just as I sat down and started to relax, I spilled it all over myself and my in-law’s couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 271

You deserved it 938

Bad boy

By Shiva - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 788

You deserved it 9 674

Caught off guard

By dooommage - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 386

You deserved it 15 362

Brain fog

By FlyingCoffeeMonster - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Oreland

Today, I was having my morning coffee while getting ready for work. I grabbed clothes off the floor to throw in the hamper. I accidentally threw my full coffee instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 062

You deserved it 3 219

Customized

By gss - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I pulled one of my favorite hoodies out of my closet, and immediately noticed several large stains on it. Apparently, my dad had managed to open a hole in the roof and couldn't be bothered to patch it, so a squirrel got in and used my closet as a litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 516

You deserved it 2 280

Hang in there

By ouch - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 806

You deserved it 4 985

New nickname just dropped

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Midland

Today, I was talking with a very attractive coworker outside when a moth flew into my ear. I started screaming and hitting my ear because it was stuck and alive in my ear. I spent the rest of the day at the ER. I'm forever known as The Moth Lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 781

You deserved it 1 050

bethan1 4

Sunday 31 October 2010 12:42

For some reason I read this as "I found a pregnant sister" it was way cooler that way.

Lounia_fml 8

Sunday 31 October 2010 15:05

At 18 :P

Comments

robc32ca 4

Sunday 31 October 2010 14:19

murderer! now you must care for the babies as they were your own!

TheyCallMeThumpe_fml 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 14:34

win.

iheartglasses 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 14:21

Thats why you squish and then rub :) They can't get away. Your best bet is to now bomb you garage for spiders before those little ones get inside your house!

iheartglasses 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 14:25

And for those commenters saying spiders only lay eggs, yes I've only seen eggs but what OP might have meant by pregnant is the spider was carrying the sac which the eggs hatch in. I have seen that also and yes I saw them all crawl out. YUCK!

adidas125 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 14:29

Okay dumbfucks, spiders lay eggs, duh. But some carry the eggsac on their back. Therefore, if you step on it it bust & if its mature enough the baby spiders will escape. This can happen. I've done it twice. It isn't an uncommon thing. This isn't a "made-up" fml. Its legit. Watch animal planet sometime before you post something you know NOTHING about.

nitemare0 17

Sunday 31 October 2010 14:29

fake, spiders lay eggs which hatch only when ready, so anything inside a spider would not be able to crawl away

TiffanyBlews27 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 14:38

Did you read 57 or 61's comments at all?? The mama spider didn't put the egg sac anywhere yet, so it was on her back. It must have been mature enough for the baby spiders to escape. It happens quite often. My grandfather did it... Let's just say that I still refuse to step foot in that house.

MissFML14 1

Sunday 31 October 2010 14:34

eww , thats disgusting.

agamid 1

Sunday 31 October 2010 14:40

poor spiders :(

Samyy27 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 14:45

how can you tell it's pregnant?

Fop 6

Sunday 31 October 2010 14:48

By the huge lump on its back?

Zebidee 8

Sunday 31 October 2010 15:27

Because it was craving pickles and ice-cream.

robc32ca 4

Sunday 31 October 2010 16:12

mood swings and loose clothing. oh and wears flats!

softball019 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 14:53

ummm don't spiders lay eggs? I'm pretty sure they rnt pregnant.

brunetteninja85 0

Sunday 31 October 2010 15:05

it was not a pregnant spider. spiders do not give birth to their young. it was probably a female wolf spider with babies riding on her back. still very creepy though...