Animals: Stuck

Stuck

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 352

You deserved it 5 251

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Same thing different taste

By valene5687 - 27/01/2016 05:20 - United States - Gretna

Today, I was locked out of my house. With no other available option, I decided to try and ninja my way through a window. However, as it turns out, I would make a terrible ninja. I now have a sprained ankle and a broken window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 396

You deserved it 5 449

Break in

By GodDaughter - 20/09/2009 00:08 - United States

Today, I was locked out of my house so I texted my cousin to come over and help me get in. She came over, stood on a chair and lifted me through the smallest unlocked window possible. Sadly, this was my bathroom window and I ended up head-first into my toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 680

You deserved it 9 994

Nice try

By groundedasfuck - 24/05/2014 20:24 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I snuck out of the house to go to a party. When I got back later, I tried climbing back up the rope-ladder I'd set up earlier, leading back through my bedroom window. I was halfway up when it broke free. I sprained both my ankles and had to shamefully ring the doorbell to get back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 105

You deserved it 55 187

Locked and loaded

By Anonymous - 30/12/2011 03:07 - China

Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 195

You deserved it 43 448

By Anonymous - 22/01/2016 19:00 - United States - Royersford

Today, I got locked out of my house. After trying unsuccessfully to jimmy the lock, I managed to climb in through the kitchen window. I soon found out I had an effect on the door after all; it won't open at all any more, even with the right key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 309

You deserved it 5 747

By TheComputerGuy96 - 22/05/2010 07:56 - Italy

Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 615

You deserved it 32 610

By Sparks - 13/03/2011 07:39 - United States

Today, after a few beers, I was exiting the bathroom of a loud house party when the door jammed. I had to climb out through the shower window. It was fool proof until my foot got stuck. I hung outside the house upside down in the dark yelling for an hour before someone figured out where I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 738

You deserved it 14 989

Paranoid

By Anonymous - 10/03/2023 06:00

Today, after I was locked out of my apartment, I went down the leaf-filled ravine behind the building to get to the fire escape ladder, climbed up four stories and over the balcony, then wiggled through the window on my stomach onto the living room floor. Now I'm back inside and paranoid about robbers doing the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 220

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 06:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 308

Crime scene

By xTRYSOFTx - 07/03/2020 03:00 - United States

Today, I called the police because I thought a burglar had broken into our house. I found out the strange noise was just my dog fucking about, so I smashed a small window and kicked down a door so I wouldn't be embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 2 191

jlaine910 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 19:23

you should hide a spare key outside your house. on the bright side, if anyone breaks into your house, you know they won't have a good time doing it...

nonconscious 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 19:31

Your dog doesn't need to see your face to know it's you.

Comments

CallMeHush 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 20:56

Ravaged eh? Doggie style?

alphaxzero 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 20:58

bs flag waved

Nakedsquirrel 5

Thursday 10 December 2009 20:59

Bullshit.

kobold_fml 1

Thursday 10 December 2009 21:22

don't know much about dogs, do you?

gigi2009 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 21:39

your dog RAVAGED you?! loool :) how look did you spend with your nose in the thesaurus?

Ascaryrobot 0

Friday 11 December 2009 1:08

How "look" did you spend in the dictionary?

immastarr 0

Friday 11 December 2009 3:12

omg ur making fun of someone who used a word thats slightly longer than usual!!! haha soooo typical! u kno thesaurus is a kinda longer word too...that is, to be like you ;)

Ascaryrobot 0

Sunday 13 December 2009 0:10

No, I'm taking the piss because he mis-spelled a word you cretin.

Spaceghost77 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 22:07

More like while sitting on the couch eating twinkies, I dreamed up this FML. Sad sack.

JukeboxBunny 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 22:10

Uh, honey, dogs recognize you by scent, not by sight. Your hood wouldn't have mattered if you smelled like yourself (which you would, unless you were wearing a human flesh jacket or something).

Hellsno 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 22:26

Hahhahhaaa...a human flesh jacket.... Yup, this stinks of bullshit.

Darkon 0

Thursday 10 December 2009 22:40

Unless your dog is anosmic or was just looking for an excuse to mess you up, I do beleive this to be fake.

turdontoast 8

Thursday 10 December 2009 23:35

I gotta say, I've gotten attacked by my own dog as well. I had just tried a new perfume though. Maybe he was wearing something a new cologne or something?