By In urgent need of a new roommate - 26/03/2014 23:44 - United States - West Linn

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML
I agree, your life sucks 44 548
You deserved it 3 365
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Top comments

acerredrum 23

Tell him okay but when you move out you expect half the bird.

335 3
DrownedMyFish 18

Hopefully you toucan settle this situation without it getting anymore hawkward than it already is.

136 11

Comments

acerredrum 23

Tell him okay but when you move out you expect half the bird.

335 3
TheCanucklehead 22

Half the bird is fine, but what are you doing with the other half?

0 18
martialart1st18 19

Haha I like this. Btw OP your roommate is a dumbass

9 0
xx000o 27

Don't worry, 5-6 years you will get used to it.

4 3
niallo 23

I'm ok with half the expense of taking care of the bird. As long as it's for getting it stuffed. No more screeching.

2 3
Marley_000 14

In the meantime they can train it to get out of its cage and shit on their roommates stuff. It will earn it's keep.

5 0
zandalee 19

Just say no for the love of God! Tell her to take the bird back, she is sharing a room with you!

81 3
Bigfabthetruth52 22

I'd teach the parrot to say something super annoying to them yet hilarious to me.

7 0
miggles 16

How is getting another pet gonna solve anything here? Unless the cat eats the parrot I guess, but still. Cats are assholes. ._.

4 74
B1ackthesun 31

Make sure it's an expensive pure breed op, and demand half of all costs including its purchase while you're at it.

28 1
ThomasBombadil 31

Better yet, get a new roommate.

3 0
jaketr00 4

Then make your old roommate pay for half of the utilities your new roommate uses.

0 0
GEBEH 14

Or just let it out through the window.

23 36
chutney_02 22

Or just turn the parrot against your roommate

4 19
Emmiii_fml 18

No that would be horrible. That parrot has most likely lived its whole life in a cage and won't know how to survive and find food outside.

60 6
kuzzy00 22

You do realise domesticated animals still have basic inherited desires to scourge food.

2 11
kinky44 28

Scrounge is the word you were looking for. Also, if a pet is raised to await a feeding, that is how it will behave unless trained otherwise.

15 0
alycion 38

Yes 72 my husky shows it every night when he tries to counter surf. Yet he only does it when there is competition for resources, a foster dog in the home.

4 0
Jellybellybeanz 22

Dude you gotta stand up. Just say no, and make him take it back.

54 3
A07 48

Threaten to eat the bird if he/she does'nt return it. Usually works.

54 3
DippinGrizzly907 27

Well, eat your half. Can't be greedy when splitting the expenses

59 1
NeatNit 32

'Usually works'?! What the hell did you do?

59 3
jtthegr8 26

Buy a falcon. Falcon will take care of that bitch ass parrot.

74 3
kangx1 28

Hire captain Falcon and he'll kill that bitch ass parrot with a Falcon Punch!

19 6
DrownedMyFish 18

Hopefully you toucan settle this situation without it getting anymore hawkward than it already is.

136 11
JR7ISME 18

I'd expect a seagull to this FML in that case. Get it? seagull/ sequel ? nobody? Ok

5 58
xivoricbutterfly 25

Get a cat. Cat eats parrot = sleep.

5 25