Kids, Awkward and Haircut: The Return of the Mullet

The Return of the Mullet

By faux ma - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Winter Park

Today, I told the hairdresser that my kid had cut my hair. I don't have kids. I was just really drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 348

You deserved it 33 275

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Top comments

YdoIhaveAchode 4

Sunday 29 April 2012 9:27

Oh the irony...

emeraldisle 30

Sunday 29 April 2012 8:49

I hope you hide the scissors the next time you get drunk.

Comments

zebracookie 0

Sunday 29 April 2012 18:06

Haha !

badactor009 0

Monday 30 April 2012 0:17

Don't have kids. Nobody deserves someone like you as a parent.

thewickedwitch 6

Monday 30 April 2012 1:15

Ha! hide the scissors when you're on xannex too.. had a similar incident. : )

Hakam08 3

Monday 30 April 2012 3:39

nice one

thetuba 8

Monday 30 April 2012 5:41

Why not just say your nephew or niece did it?

tubagal 0

Monday 30 April 2012 7:09

Love the name :)

lolufatfuck 2

Monday 30 April 2012 6:42

lolufatfuck 2

Monday 30 April 2012 6:42

lol fatass. u drinkin so that u can imagen all ur fat rolls a way haha wow wut a fatty

lolufatfuck 2

Monday 30 April 2012 6:42

lol fatass. u drinkin so that u can imagen all ur fat rolls a way haha wow wut a fatty

lolufatfuck 2

Monday 30 April 2012 6:42

lol fatass. u drinkin so that u can imagen all ur fat rolls a way haha wow wut a fatty

chenzo_bits89 0

Tuesday 1 May 2012 5:09

you might have one on the way now ;)

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral, and he got so into it that he grabbed my hair. Just as he was about to climax, he pulled my hair so hard that my extensions came out. I jerked back and hit my head on the wall behind me. He then came in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 350

You deserved it 574

Today, my seventy-year-old male live-in landlord asked if I'd heard a low humming noise the last few nights, around midnight, as someone had mentioned it. I feigned ignorance, whilst silently lamenting the decline of my self-pleasure opportunities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 456

You deserved it 283

The Top

Today, I went to the bar because, I like to go to the bar every Saturday, but wearing a wedding ring so people wouldn't hit on me. But when I went this time, I forgot my ring and people still didn’t hit on me. So now I know it has nothing to do with the ring at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 1 011

Today, after my bank sent me a new card because the old one had been compromised, I woke up to find that it's already been used to start an Amazon Prime account and order several movies. The card to replace a compromised card has been compromised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 112

You deserved it 260

Today, I went out to dinner for my mom's birthday. I'd planned for a nice restaurant which is always packed, so I'd called for a reservation. When we got there, the hostess tried to turn us down because no one ever takes their mother out to dinner anymore, and that I was a fraud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 961

You deserved it 2 342

Today, I was putting the finishing touches on my portrait of a young boy in art class. I asked my teacher if she could help correct the bad parts of my portrait. She said, "Well that would take all day and I just don't have the time." She was serious. I thought this was my best work yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 262

You deserved it 5 134

Today, my mother straight up admitted that she would murder me if God told her to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 057

You deserved it 1 927

Today, I called my seven-year old son to help me with the ice-maker on the fridge because it wasn't working. Without even pausing, he turned the child lock off and started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 518

You deserved it 39 210