Birds and Money: The turkeys fight back - FML

The turkeys fight back

By Anonymous - 12/04/2015 18:29 - United States - South Burlington

Today, I found out that turkeys can fly. I also found out how much a new windshield costs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 148

You deserved it 2 948

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Same thing different taste

Clever

By FMLTIMESTWO - 10/06/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 558

You deserved it 61 972

By andrea99 - 03/10/2010 09:35 - United States

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 663

You deserved it 3 416

By ferrarismyname - 09/04/2009 06:40 - United States

Today, I was sitting shotgun in the car. A huge bug came inside, and everyone began to freak out so naturally I began to swat at it. I got the fly, but I also cracked the windshield. I paid $229 to kill a bug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 565

You deserved it 23 514

By me. - 14/03/2012 15:19 - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 159

You deserved it 3 858

Act of god

By Anonymous - 05/04/2023 00:00

Today, I purchased a new car. On the drive home, gusts of wind blew up debris and pebbles and caused little chips in the paint and small chips on the windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 95

How did you manage that?

By Anonymous - 10/04/2009 14:35 - United States

Today, I was driving my car like any ordinary day. My dad had been harping on me about not checking the oil, so I finally checked it. Driving down the road my hood flew up and shattered my windshield. I forgot to latch my hood after checking the oil. $300 for a new windshield. The oil was fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 309

You deserved it 62 748

Look at that

By That escalated quickly - 24/06/2015 19:45 - United States - Ocean City

Today, while driving to Nashville, I saw a bunch of wild turkeys huddled together on the side of the road. I was excited to point them out to my boyfriend, until I realized that the "wild turkeys" were in fact vultures, and that they were eating a dead deer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 501

You deserved it 4 290

Irony at a base level

By danyelicindereli - 29/05/2009 03:41 - United States

Today, I was standing around looking out the window at work when it became really dark and windy and started to pour. I watched a shopping cart fly across the parking lot thinking how funny it'd be if it hit someone's car. It hit mine. I need a new headlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 254

You deserved it 48 187

By Anonymous - 11/04/2014 20:07 - Switzerland

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 138

You deserved it 3 849

By Lindsey Taul - 22/12/2017 22:00 - United States - Granite City

Today, while driving home from work, I heard a loud crash immediately followed by the sound of wind and shifting glass over my head. My sunroof exploded for no perceptible reason 5 days before Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 218

You deserved it 301

Next

Top comments

AndyPurdy 31

Monday 13 April 2015 0:09

what the actual ****

gintwinsmoore 20

Monday 13 April 2015 0:10

were u driving that fast or was the turkey moving that slow???

Comments

HawaiiiLy 6

Monday 13 April 2015 3:32

Same thing happened to me not two days ago. I was in my dad's personal truck driving home from him getting his company truck. He was in front of me and we were on the interstate going 60 and then Whaam! a turkey hits my windshield. Busted the window and dented the roof. My dad wasn't happy and now he has to pay for a new windshield and we are down a vehicle for a week.

jgreer93 15

Monday 13 April 2015 3:35

What's sad, this is a regular occurrence where I'm from :( sorry OP

wanderer_alone 8

Monday 13 April 2015 3:43

Oh my god

Pigpig1234 10

Monday 13 April 2015 4:01

Meow

gobiteme2 34

Monday 13 April 2015 4:02

Evidently the turkey couldn’t fly high enough or fast enough. Hope your insurance covered it without any cost to you.

NodakN8V 25

Monday 13 April 2015 4:03

As avid turkey hunter ..yes they do fly and very well I might add...20 pound bird flying into a windshield makes for a bad day.

Jburky_10 15

Monday 13 April 2015 4:08

1 wild turkey - and strange shit can happen . . . and i dont just mean the bird!

Sneado 20

Monday 13 April 2015 4:09

I feel for you op. Had the same thing happen two weeks after I bought my new truck.

guyverfan 9

Monday 13 April 2015 4:47

Wild turkeys are actually quite skinny so I am not surprised.

Kurby14 21

Monday 13 April 2015 4:57

it's beginning! they want revenge for thanksgiving!

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend went on a date with her mechanic. She said it was to get discounts when she goes in for maintenance. Not only does she not see a problem with it, but she's probably getting discounts on other services too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 740

You deserved it 5 265

Today, I pulled my Christmas tree out of my mother-in-law's garage, only to find out rats had ruined all the lights. The tree cost $2600. FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 527

The Top

Today, I realized that the "eyelash curling brush" that my best friend found in my old bathroom drawer was actually a stick used for cleaning food out of my sister's braces. I used that thing for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 816

You deserved it 14 464

Today, my friend decided it was funny to burp in my face. The burp was actually vomit. We were in the food court at the mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 189

You deserved it 2 722

Today, I walked in on my dad's poker game. He didn't know I was there, and was telling his friends what he would do to my girlfriend if I wasn't dating her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 215

You deserved it 4 686

Today, I had to text my landlord to tell him I’m gonna be short on rent. The guy who mugged me last night took the money I made from tips that was supposed to complete my rent. He replied, “Wow that’s wild. I don’t know how you’re gonna come up with the rest by 11:59 tonight, or you’re evicted in 30 days.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 600

You deserved it 139

Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 141

You deserved it 337

Today, I thought the ring my boyfriend bought for me had fallen off while emptying the trash into the bin. After panicking and emptying a week's worth of rubbish onto the ground, I found my ring safe and sound. On my other hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 859

You deserved it 28 799