Shopping, Furniture and Love: This sparks joy - FML

This sparks joy

By Repethetic - 02/04/2015 12:20 - Australia - Sydney

Spicy

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend when we came across the most beautiful piece of Japanese furniture. When I inspected it closely, my boyfriend started laughing. Turns out I was making the same noise I make when I orgasm in reaction to a piece of furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 927

You deserved it 4 877

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

Honky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 405

You deserved it 5 206

By slypher25aussie - 09/11/2012 07:26 - United States - Chula Vista

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a furniture store. We split up for a bit, and after a while I went to find him. A salesman noticed I seemed to be looking around for him and said, "Oh, your son is upstairs." We're the same age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 636

You deserved it 2 385

By missingcharlie - 17/08/2009 02:45 - United States

Spicy

Today, in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, instead of saying something sexy, he decided to tell me that the bowling alley had a new air hockey table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 152

You deserved it 5 703

By Anonymous - 06/01/2011 06:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 481

You deserved it 6 148

By shopper242 - 22/11/2010 12:29 - France

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 924

You deserved it 4 098

By "BunnysKitty" - 15/09/2017 23:15

Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 062

You deserved it 895

By Volume_control - 10/11/2009 14:41 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having it off in his den, I screamed at the height of my climax, and from the family room came the roaring laughter of my boyfriend's brothers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 849

You deserved it 31 407

Caught in 4K

By Oops - 03/01/2016 19:09 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. I wanted to tease him, so I got his attention and made my orgasm face when I thought no one was looking. His thirteen year-old cousin saw and now bursts out laughing whenever he sees me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 297

You deserved it 19 584

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 393

You deserved it 5 766

By Anonymous - 28/05/2017 20:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 868

You deserved it 1 789

Next

Top comments

majesticprincess 19

Thursday 2 April 2015 17:49

Buy the couch. **** him On the couch. Therefore you'll have an ****** times two. You're welcome

kelseysking 26

Thursday 2 April 2015 17:46

That's hilarious, glad I don't do that

Comments

ScarlettVixen_fml 5

Sunday 5 April 2015 19:57

That must have been some furniture!

quirby 4

Tuesday 7 April 2015 12:54

At least you do ******...

gintwinsmoore 20

Friday 10 April 2015 9:15

Well now he knows you fake it. Ever see when Harry met Sally? I can't help but think of that picture while reading this FML!

Ava_Darkflame 26

Monday 13 April 2015 3:16

audibly laughed at this XD

Nissi 17

Wednesday 15 April 2015 6:47

That's actually kinda cute!

Keywords

Clothes Miscellaneous Relatable Shoes Insurance Transportation Cars Health Work Love Cheating Embarrassing Clumsy Food Awkward Animals Dating First Dates Bikes Dogs Cute Ironic Pranks Shopping Mistakes Texting Family Fight Birthday Drunk

The Top

Today, my mother is such a nosy, intruding busybody, she has driven away my last three boyfriends who could no longer stand her. My latest fella had even proposed, but he asked for the ring back and you can bet he blamed my mother for repeatedly involving herself in our private business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 275

You deserved it 478

Today, I thought it would be a good idea for me and my colleague to fuck in the bathroom that no one uses. Turns out, the president of the company, who was here for a visit, had picked the perfect day to use it. Now we’re jobless and potentially spouseless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 1 889

The Top

Today, I bought a book by a #1 bestselling author, hoping it would distract me from having my manuscript rejected, as well as learn what made their book so successful. Now I realize I need to say stuff like, "I wish I had great boobs (hehe... boobs)" to get my works published. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 387

You deserved it 3 337

Today, I was traveling by bus. There were no spare seats, so I stood next to a seated lady. When she got off at her stop, I was amused because her bum made the shape of a mushroom on the seat. I went to sit on it. So I'm sitting there when I realise the seat is really warm... and wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 065

You deserved it 8 371

Today, at work, I came back from my break to find a child covered in mud. Turns out it wasn't mud. One of the other children had taken all of the poop out of their diaper and smeared it all over the floor, walls, and other children. The other teacher hadn't noticed, and I had to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 129

You deserved it 146

Today, after having some great, intimate phone sex with my boyfriend, he immediately said, "Well, gotta go," and hung up. Thanks for making me feel like some sort of phone-hooker, dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 254

You deserved it 617

Today, I created a poster trying to raise self-harm awareness in teens for my school. They sent me to the counselor, suspended me, and recommended I go to therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 210

You deserved it 4 982

Today, thinking I was alone at work, I did an impression of Goldar from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I turned around to find out I wasn't alone; a cute girl was staring at me, unimpressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 939

You deserved it 20 337