I don't know why all these girls who we hear about through fml feel the need to talk to their current about their ex boyfriends. I never talk about my ex's to my boyfriend, that's just mean.

Start talking about your ex-girlfriends' boobs, just so she knows how comparing ex's body parts feel like.

You mustn't be her first. Damn sure won't be her last. Time to use the pump!

Tell her ****** looks like ham

next time tell her about your ex girlfriend's ******.

So you asked her and she'll probably comply? The issue is already resolved no need for an 'FML', get over it. There would be no logic in insulting the appearance of her outer female genitalia, would just cause more problems.

I'd tell her to go back to it if she misses it so much or to shut the **** up

Maybe next time she says something you snap on her and put your dick in her eye so that she can see where you are cumming from.

Wait, you have a girlfriend?

it was a nice penis, what can ya do?