Work: Today, a 65-ish year-old man told me that he's married and not...

By Nicky_ham - 06/01/2016 04:56 - Canada - Regina

Today, a 65-ish year-old man told me that he's married and not supposed to look at other women, but that I tempt him. All while sitting next to his wife, who then told me I was going to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 653

You deserved it 1 664

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/02/2015 20:14 - Canada - Ajax

Today, I discovered that my male coworker, who coincidentally shares my last name, has been telling everyone we're married. I'm 26; he's 58. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 076

You deserved it 2 370

By sad guy - 26/04/2013 05:20 - United States

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 323

You deserved it 3 115

Mega creep

By Anonymous - 30/12/2019 18:00

Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 174

You deserved it 205

Denial

By Anonymous - 11/08/2022 06:00

Today, my wife is mad because some kid in a store offered her the seniors' discount and she got offended. I had to tell her she’s 66 years-old and is actually entitled to that discount, so she should calm the hell down. She’s not spoken to me in over 24 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 332

You deserved it 149

By grannysmack - 11/07/2009 09:10 - United States

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 878

You deserved it 6 559

Tsk Tsk

By whatiswrongwiththeworld - 14/07/2017 13:01

Today, I was told off by a random woman who said that I should be ashamed of myself for dating such an older man. I was having dinner with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 920

You deserved it 290

Way to be creepy

By Shoe - 27/02/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, my boss told me he suspected his wife was cheating on him. I told him to pull up her Facebook page to look for suspicious activity. I looked at her profile picture and said, "Damn, that girl next to her fine! You know her?" It was his sixteen year-old daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 943

You deserved it 40 175

By Anonymous - 18/08/2012 00:20 - United States

Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 545

You deserved it 1 851

It is weird

By huh? - 28/09/2020 05:02 - United States

Today, my wife called me a pervert and a degenerate for lusting after a teenage girl. I’d found some old pictures from high school and remarked about how sexy she’s always been. It was her I was talking about. I said she’d always been attractive, but liking her as a teen is now weird I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 523

You deserved it 246

Classic mistake

By FuhedUp - 31/10/2021 08:00

Today, I saw my husband at a restaurant, laughing with a hot woman. He'd told me he was at a meeting with the VP of his company. Furious, I barged in and started screaming at them, calling him a cheater and a liar. Turns out the woman was actually the VP of his company, and they were in the middle of the meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 3 683

Soninuva 41

Wednesday 6 January 2016 16:04

This mentality is what's wrong with the world.

lexred 30

Wednesday 6 January 2016 16:05

What the hell?

Comments

PhoenixChick 26

Wednesday 6 January 2016 16:35

Yeah, how dare you exist! Didn't you know her husband has no sense of self-control?

writerchic85 25

Wednesday 6 January 2016 16:35

Women can't win in this world. If you're too fat, not attractive, ect people insult you for not reaching the standard. If you're overly attractive people call you a **** and judge your cloths.

Tripartita 44

Wednesday 6 January 2016 16:36

Yes, it's your fault the own man was tempted, and not something that existed solely in HIS head. You clearly wanted his attention. And rather than being concerned for somebody she believes is going to spend an eternity in agony, the wife used her belief to attempt to cause further harm. These people are the reasons the word "insecurity" exists.

Tripartita 44

Wednesday 6 January 2016 20:46

*old

chuka81 27

Wednesday 6 January 2016 20:55

Even when you have a typo, you get upvoted. I'm worried about the FML community's double standards. You might soon become the new DocBastard.

9a_1z 12

Wednesday 6 January 2016 21:20

This person gets up-votes a lot of the time because they post thoughtful comments a lot of the time, typos can be excused if the rest of the comment is sound. No need to cry about a non-existent double standard.

Tripartita 44

Wednesday 6 January 2016 22:31

Damn, and here I was thinking I was getting up votes because I'm pretty.

adamduhhh 7

Wednesday 6 January 2016 16:38

keep up the good work lol

adamduhhh 7

Wednesday 6 January 2016 16:40

clearly people did not read this correctly lol

worldsanchor 5

Wednesday 6 January 2016 17:01

Take it for the compliment that it really is. You must be very attractive.

littlekellilee 45

Wednesday 6 January 2016 23:46

This is one of those comments that makes every woman sigh and shake their head.

rydersmomma16 21

Thursday 7 January 2016 8:36

Yes. I literally just cannot even attempt to list how demeaning that comment was unless I want to be up typing for the next three hours. Smh.

Zebediabolical 39

Wednesday 6 January 2016 17:14

Any time someone tells me I'm going to Hell, I just look at them and recite a Satanic prayer that I learned decades ago. I've never gotten more than three lines in before they're leaving. Usually at a pretty high rate of speed.

Ilmoran 20

Thursday 7 January 2016 14:25

You're going to hell... Because I'm curious what this satanic prayer is.

Zebediabolical 39

Thursday 7 January 2016 21:41

"In nomine dei nostri Satanas Luciferi exelsi. In the name of Satan, King of the earth, ruler of all that is above and below, I command you to bestow thy infernal power upon me." By that point, they're generally gone.