Intimacy: Today, a guy came to install a modem in my apartment. He needed...

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By wardsl195 - 30/12/2015 05:55 - United States - Seaford

Today, a guy came to install a modem in my apartment. He needed to get to the jack behind my TV stand, so I helped him move it. Once the stand was moved, I saw a used condom that was hidden underneath. My cat must have pulled it out of my garbage weeks ago. There's no way the guy didn't see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 485

You deserved it 3 839

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Get back here!

By frenchie12 - 24/03/2019 02:00

Today, I hooked up with a girl. The condom fell off when I pulled out. When the girl left, I couldn't find it. I saw my roommate cat's with it, so I chased him and he escaped. My roommate now wants to kill me. She found the condom on her bed and doesn't believe me. I might have to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 480

You deserved it 584

Pet detective

By badluckdrew - 01/05/2009 14:28 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 656

You deserved it 20 690

By Help - 16/09/2011 16:20 - Australia

Today, at work, I found a used condom in the fax machine. I'm the electrical maintenance repair for the company. I have to untangle it from the belts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 082

You deserved it 2 050

By Anonymous - 31/07/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 456

You deserved it 42 577

The Three Bears Conundrum

By Madison43097 - 24/09/2009 20:57 - United States

Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 812

You deserved it 2 547

By Jake - 02/10/2012 11:52 - United States - Athens

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 625

You deserved it 2 815

Gettin' some

By Username - 01/05/2011 08:20 - United States

Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 513

You deserved it 46 419

Repair this

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 06:01

Today, at my appliance job, we received a used dryer that needed to be fixed. I took it in the back room to test it. I plugged it in and turned it on. It started to smell so bad that I went to shut it down, but before I did I see two used condoms fly out of the back vent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 57

Good boy

By Tucker - 18/11/2009 21:35 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs with my mom. We heard the dog running around upstairs and called him down. He came running down the stairs with a used condom in his mouth. The same condom my girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. He put it directly in my mom's hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 488

You deserved it 8 805

Heat of the moment

By English_Nut117 - 30/10/2013 19:17 - Canada - Georgetown

Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 692

You deserved it 15 223

feven 32

Wednesday 30 December 2015 15:43

He's probably seen worse things if he goes to people's houses often.

Emma1562 35

Wednesday 30 December 2015 15:43

That sucks but it'll be a funny story to tell

Comments

vikky538 28

Wednesday 30 December 2015 18:12

He probably chuckled a but when he saw that :)

schreibergx93 19

Wednesday 30 December 2015 18:41

Toilets flush those, sorry op :p

corky1992 33

Wednesday 30 December 2015 19:47

Pretty sure you're not supposed to flush those..

hipposteve 21

Wednesday 30 December 2015 19:39

What a mischievous kitty!

corky1992 33

Wednesday 30 December 2015 19:46

Cats are dicks lol.

Jesserb 17

Thursday 31 December 2015 18:02

Pussy=dick......interesting

murph_fml 21

Wednesday 30 December 2015 20:41

"Weeks ago" sounds like you know exactly when & where it came from. Been awhile?

17jemstar 14

Wednesday 30 December 2015 21:38

I just reckon the cat sentence was an excuse to get ***** instead of YDI's.

Tkell45 3

Wednesday 30 December 2015 21:47

Embarrassing, but not a FML moment

LPisLame 16

Wednesday 30 December 2015 23:27

I worked for geek squad for a while. I went into this frat house to install some wall mounts for tv's. A dog walks up to me and drops a pillow case that's clearly been used over and over and over....and over and over as a **** rag. drops it on the floor and walks away. Some guy runs up and grabs it and says "hazing, right?"