Miscellaneous: Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML - FML

By Anonymous - 10/04/2011 06:05 - United States

Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 294

You deserved it 4 524

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Same thing different taste

By guessthatsatrickthen - 31/10/2015 17:19 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I opened the door to what I thought would be a group of trick or treaters. It was actually a naked man. He wanted to come in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 179

You deserved it 1 973

What do y'all want?

By ladymichee - 07/07/2021 14:01

Today, police barged into my apartment for a drug raid, but they had the wrong address. They came in while I was naked on my couch and didn't even apologize for breaking my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 218

You deserved it 80

By nekkiddrunk - 14/01/2010 02:04 - United States

Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 895

You deserved it 40 591

By mike oxsmall - 16/06/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 050

You deserved it 6 552

Landlords gonna landlord

By goingtobeevicted - 25/04/2013 06:28 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 907

You deserved it 48 205

By meeeoow - 22/01/2011 10:05 - Australia

Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 663

You deserved it 2 777

Why hello there...

By Shocked - 28/01/2018 19:00

Today, while looking at a house to buy, I opened a bathroom door. There was a naked man on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 693

You deserved it 433

By hellphone_fml - 01/07/2019 20:00

Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 375

You deserved it 654

By why me - 24/10/2017 01:30

Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 313

You deserved it 287

By Hunterxx - 07/08/2010 05:21 - United States

Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 758

You deserved it 7 232

Next

Top comments

UnknwnClassicGrl 5

Sunday 10 April 2011 12:10

was he hot?

rushiee 0

Sunday 10 April 2011 12:12

I wanna be just like him when I grow up (: lol

Comments

joshosh420 2

Sunday 10 April 2011 18:18

pot doesnt do that.

Magedofe 0

Sunday 10 April 2011 20:50

You would know...

Nafan01 0

Sunday 10 April 2011 18:41

oh little bubba, he's doin it again? age that's nah boy

Anonymouser81 0

Sunday 10 April 2011 18:43

I need tbat to happen to me with it being a woman. I'd show 'er giggity giggity

makayla_roxx 2

Sunday 10 April 2011 18:44

O.o whats so weird about that? it happens all the time to me...

4Lonely2Stoner0 0

Sunday 10 April 2011 18:57

That was me

HATER12 0

Sunday 10 April 2011 19:03

my bad lol

CashCaTroy14 0

Sunday 10 April 2011 19:10

he obviously on something else stoned people wouldnt try to do that

bakapyon 0

Sunday 10 April 2011 19:14

did u beat the crap out of him?

danny678 0

Sunday 10 April 2011 19:15

I doubt he was stoned. maybe all tweaked out

pakak_picco 1

Sunday 10 April 2011 19:17

lol

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The Top

Today, while I was showering in my dorm, a hand reached through the curtain and grabbed my ass. I hit the person on the other side of the curtain. He opened the curtain, thinking that I was his girlfriend. He apologized, then went on to have sex with his girlfriend in the shower stall next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 925

You deserved it 3 628

Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 681

You deserved it 15 212

The Top

Today, our dishwasher broke. It's my husband's chore to do the dishes, but he refused to hand-wash them, and instead suggested we take them all up to his mother's for her to put in her dishwasher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 781

You deserved it 230

Today, I made dozens of cookies just in time for Christmas. When I went to take out the last pan from the oven, I slipped. In a desperate attempt to catch the pan I grabbed it with my bare hand. My hand is striped like a candy cane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 901

You deserved it 903

Today, I peed myself pretty bad while waiting for the elevator in my boyfriend’s luxury apartment building, and there was a camera. I ran away, but I was afraid my boyfriend would get fined if I left it, so I tried my best to clean it but I feel like such an idiot now. I really hope they don’t check the camera footage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 293

Today, after math class, the resident creepy kid approached me and asked me out. I've only spoken to him twice before, so I was creeped out, and I politely declined. He totally lost it, and shouted that I'm a "friend-zoning bitch" before storming out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 659

You deserved it 3 713

Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house for the first time. It's a small, old cottage in the countryside. I went up for a shower and didn't realise that the plug hole was blocked. Before I knew it, the bathroom floor was completely flooded and the ceiling below was dripping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 082

You deserved it 7 726

Today, as I was getting x-rays of my arm, I heard one technician ask another, "Are you sure those are hers?" At 17, I have weaker bones than my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 008

You deserved it 1 090