Intimacy: Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my...

By e_edge - 05/06/2011 06:48 - United States

Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my mom said, in front of my older brother's friends, "Wow, you're going to make some man really happy one day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 832

You deserved it 8 844

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Same thing different taste

By Needasafe1234 - 25/09/2009 15:24 - United States

Today, it was my mother's birthday. My 5 year old brother and 85 year old grandma decided to decorate the house with balloons and a blow up "people" they found in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 034

You deserved it 46 805

By wasntme - 30/03/2009 10:14 - Netherlands

Today, I finally passed a math exam. I go home super excited to tell my mom, yelling "Mom! Guess what!?!?!" She turns to me all happy and goes "You finally got a boyfriend!?!?!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 576

You deserved it 7 448

Misguided

By baller - 08/06/2009 10:39 - Australia

Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they bring out the cake, and the birthday girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing, I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight." The guy next to me was her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 996

You deserved it 92 903

Keep it down!

By LonelyStudent - 02/09/2019 19:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, while at a grocery store, I told my mom I had some good news. She exclaimed, "You finally got a boyfriend?!" No mom, just an A on my math test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 631

You deserved it 172

By newlyengaged - 08/01/2017 18:11 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my mother excitedly jumped up and down, announcing that one of her sweet younger coworkers got engaged. I wished she'd had the same reaction to my engagement when I announced it to her a few days earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 880

You deserved it 592

Good for you

By Fergie - 08/10/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, I got my first big promotion at work. Excited, I shared the news with my parents. My mom responded with, "That’s nice, dear, but your sister just got engaged," and hung up to go back to celebrating with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 106

Denial

By TedX - 19/08/2020 20:07

Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 660

You deserved it 247

TMI

By Anonymous - 16/01/2013 21:08 - United States - San Marcos

Today, my mom wished me a "Happy Conception Day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 561

You deserved it 4 471

By jazthefish - 12/07/2010 19:42 - United States

Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 804

You deserved it 71 734

By Lil Bro - 17/07/2016 02:05 - United Kingdom - Smethwick

Today, after months of trying to make my girlfriend orgasm, she finally did. It was with my brother. I'll definitely knock next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 834

You deserved it 1 603

marinus_fml 19

Sunday 5 June 2011 15:57

Did your brothers friends smile and give you a seedy wink? I would have. ;)

Miss_Michaela 10

Sunday 5 June 2011 15:59

Answer back: "I already have..." That'd have shut her up.

Comments

FMLsOhilarious 6

Sunday 5 June 2011 16:10

How embarrassing! Your mom has no business saying that, especially in front of other people. Fyl OP. I would've been pissed.

athena3100 9

Sunday 5 June 2011 21:12

Ha my mom does stuff like that all the time and we all think its so damn funny!!

sourgirl101 28

Sunday 5 June 2011 16:11

Blowing AND twisting? I can see your point!

kittykat1497 7

Sunday 5 June 2011 16:12

that's right you'll be throwing the best god damn birthday parties ever ^_^

pitchblease 2

Sunday 5 June 2011 16:17

you're mom is just trying to get you a date.

kylek61294 1

Sunday 5 June 2011 21:09

*"Your mom is just trying to get you a date."

mackop 0

Monday 6 June 2011 3:58

"Your mom... oh wait, it doesn't matter.. ;)

eminemchick 19

Sunday 5 June 2011 16:18

you shoul be proud. i would be proud.XD

jennifer93 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 16:22

haha hey at least your mom has a sense of humor!

thatnucca 36

Sunday 5 June 2011 16:24

Talking from experience, I bet... ;)

MilanKing 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 16:29

Respect my athoritah!

MilanKing 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 16:41

Respect my athoritah!

MilanKing 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 16:31

Respect my athoritah!

dizzaymizlizzay 11

Sunday 5 June 2011 16:38

******** is quite the misnomer.

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Love Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 780

You deserved it 4 168

Today, I saw some servicemen sitting outside a café, and I went over to thank them for their service. They waited till after I was done shaking their hands before they told me that they were just actors on their lunch break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 997

You deserved it 7 511

The Top

Today, I got my braces in. I also got my period a week early. Tylenol can only help so much with the pain, but if I have something warm to eat/drink the wire tightens but my cramps aren't be as bad. I would have something cold, but we only have frozen meat and chunky ice cream, which I can't have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 124

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 510

You deserved it 417

Today, I fell down the stairs and landed heavily on my foot. Because I wasn't crying, my mom refused to take me to the hospital. It took me an hour of agony to convince her. It turned out to be broken in three different places. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 365

You deserved it 1 789

Today, I was listening to music while my grandma and mom were in the same room. I only had one headphone in. My mom, thinking I had both in, started telling my grandma how much of a "little bitch" I am. My grandma went on to say, "She's also a slut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 253

You deserved it 17 460

Today, my best friend asked if I'd join him and his girlfriend for a 3-way. Since I've always had a crush on his girlfriend, I eagerly agreed. When I got there, I learned that their idea of a 3-way was them watching me jerk off while I watched them have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 652

You deserved it 2 753

Today, the only person I actually spoke with was a prank caller. I tried to have a conversation with him, but he hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 467

You deserved it 7 928

Same thing different taste

Misguided

Keep it down!

Good for you

Denial

TMI

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