Intimacy: Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my...

By e_edge - 05/06/2011 06:48 - United States

Today, after I successfully blew up a really large balloon, my mom said, in front of my older brother's friends, "Wow, you're going to make some man really happy one day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 828

You deserved it 8 843

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
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Same thing different taste

By Needasafe1234 - 25/09/2009 15:24 - United States

Today, it was my mother's birthday. My 5 year old brother and 85 year old grandma decided to decorate the house with balloons and a blow up "people" they found in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 034

You deserved it 46 801

By wasntme - 30/03/2009 10:14 - Netherlands

Today, I finally passed a math exam. I go home super excited to tell my mom, yelling "Mom! Guess what!?!?!" She turns to me all happy and goes "You finally got a boyfriend!?!?!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 574

You deserved it 7 448

Misguided

By baller - 08/06/2009 10:39 - Australia

Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they bring out the cake, and the birthday girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing, I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight." The guy next to me was her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 996

You deserved it 92 900

Keep it down!

By LonelyStudent - 02/09/2019 19:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, while at a grocery store, I told my mom I had some good news. She exclaimed, "You finally got a boyfriend?!" No mom, just an A on my math test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 630

You deserved it 172

By newlyengaged - 08/01/2017 18:11 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my mother excitedly jumped up and down, announcing that one of her sweet younger coworkers got engaged. I wished she'd had the same reaction to my engagement when I announced it to her a few days earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 878

You deserved it 592

Good for you

By Fergie - 08/10/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, I got my first big promotion at work. Excited, I shared the news with my parents. My mom responded with, "That’s nice, dear, but your sister just got engaged," and hung up to go back to celebrating with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 106

Denial

By TedX - 19/08/2020 20:07

Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 655

You deserved it 247

TMI

By Anonymous - 16/01/2013 21:08 - United States - San Marcos

Today, my mom wished me a "Happy Conception Day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 560

You deserved it 4 470

By jazthefish - 12/07/2010 19:42 - United States

Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 804

You deserved it 71 734

By Lil Bro - 17/07/2016 02:05 - United Kingdom - Smethwick

Today, after months of trying to make my girlfriend orgasm, she finally did. It was with my brother. I'll definitely knock next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 832

You deserved it 1 603

marinus_fml 19

Sunday 5 June 2011 15:57

Did your brothers friends smile and give you a seedy wink? I would have. ;)

Miss_Michaela 10

Sunday 5 June 2011 15:59

Answer back: "I already have..." That'd have shut her up.

Comments

matt0794 1

Sunday 5 June 2011 18:59

nothing to do with this fml but your picture is a win.

MrXerxes5 6

Sunday 5 June 2011 18:54

Lol. like mother like daughter c;

ThisRandomChild 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 18:58

Thats a win and u know it

JPEG7 12

Sunday 5 June 2011 19:42

well, considering you don't blow on a guys dick like a balloon...

MovingOn09 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 19:55

I would have winked and said i already do. hopefully the friends were hot.

THEmuffinpan 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 20:02

Go ahead and blow on some guys junk like you're blowing a balloon. See how far that gets you lol

kialuvsyoo 3

Sunday 5 June 2011 20:14

Well, no disrespect but she's right. It helps to have strong lips ;)

rjflores 0

Sunday 5 June 2011 20:17

be thankful.

skatergirl33 0

Wednesday 8 June 2011 4:49

for what?!

Pigpen181 3

Sunday 5 June 2011 20:19

Maybe she thinks you'll be hooking up with Bozo the Clown because if some chick starts blowing on my junk.....I know I'm looking at a amateur

hpdc 0

Monday 6 June 2011 11:53

are you 12?

chimcharx3 15

Sunday 5 June 2011 20:20

I wish my mom was like that :c

Keywords

Miscellaneous Neighbours Awkward Wanker Lonely Halloween Jealousy Love Party Family Argument Fight Animals Cats Parents Health Embarrassing Sports Shopping Medication Birds Anger issues Weddings YouTube TikTok Pranks Dogs Cute AITA Work

The Top

Today, I had an interview for a college. The college is in Rhode Island. I live on the West coast. When I asked the interviewer if they got to the mainland by boat or by some other form of transportation, he told me Rhode Island is not an island. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 693

You deserved it 65 210

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around. I was sitting up on my bed when he reached down near my privates and said, "Wow babe, did you shave today? It's so soft…" He was actually touching my bottom roll above my vagina, which delightfully formed a crease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 035

You deserved it 22 061

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 91

Today, my husband cancelled our internet and cable package because we’re having money problems. I work from home and need the internet to do so. I guess getting a job of his own wasn’t an option. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 845

You deserved it 330

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I agree, your life sucks 4 822

You deserved it 372

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I agree, your life sucks 49 739

You deserved it 3 491

Today, I went out with a friendly guy who's very passionate about the environment and everything was going fine until he asked about my job. I work as a clerk in a plantation company. He went from Mr. Daydream to Mr. Scary because the company I work for is destroying the forest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 247

You deserved it 613

Today, was my graduation from a prestigious university. In two days I start working at a hot dog stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 765

You deserved it 16 925