Animals: Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally...

By weep weep weep - 12/03/2012 03:04 - United States

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 925

You deserved it 3 850

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Same thing different taste

By MacGrouber - 17/03/2011 00:12 - United States

Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 848

You deserved it 4 749

By Anonymous - 18/04/2019 00:00

Today, my bird learned how to mimic the fire alarm after my dad has been testing them for the last few months. He now enjoys sounding like a fire alarm anytime I turn the lights off with the other bird joining in. They live in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 034

You deserved it 293

By Anonymous - 17/06/2013 20:07 - United States

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 760

You deserved it 7 001

By sweetie808 - 28/01/2016 08:39 - United States - Kailua Kona

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 760

You deserved it 1 786

Enjoy the sirens

By Anonymous - 17/03/2023 04:00

Today, my parrot learned how to imitate my baby's crying. Now, every time the baby cries, the parrot joins in, and it sounds like a chorus of screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 195

By margretlle - 26/04/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 743

You deserved it 8 415

Freedom!

By Anonymous - 27/08/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 513

Yummy

By EwwwwYuck - 03/08/2020 02:02

Today, I set my parrot in the bathroom while I cleaned his cage, thinking he would be safe there. He was in fact safe, but not so the used maxi pad he chewed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 360

By WhoNose - 06/11/2016 23:52

Today, the smoke detector in my bedroom malfunctioned and started going off while my cat was asleep on my shoulder. He panicked and deeply lacerated my nose with his claw as he ran off. Blood got everywhere, and to add insult to injury the unit has no removable battery and wouldn't turn off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 686

You deserved it 758

Toxic wasteland

By Cinderella - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, my house was so dusty that when I started to clean it, the smoke detector went off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 149

You deserved it 2 604

EmilieAutumn 7

Monday 12 March 2012 5:35

Just make sure you never have sex around him.

haZzbin 0

Monday 12 March 2012 5:32

Could come in handy… if your house were to catch on fire and the alarm somehow didn't sense it

Comments

goddamniluvme 0

Tuesday 13 March 2012 8:19

What kinda loser has a parrot... No real friends to talk too?! Haha jk

IMcD23 0

Wednesday 14 March 2012 4:32

That just made my day!

soulmancam 6

Wednesday 14 March 2012 4:54

why did you teach him to wail when the fire alarm goes off?

ZZDomoZZ 1

Wednesday 14 March 2012 4:55

Give it a good old fashioned over the knee spankin! All you need or supplies are an hair dryer, a whip and lots of molasses, and you have yourself tools for a spankin. How you do it is up to yourself brother!

Linnia 12

Friday 16 March 2012 17:28

Ouch. Another good one - a bunch of African Greys imitating the beeping sounds trucks make when backing up. (That was the vetrinary clinic where I work, earlier this morning)

xx000o 27

Sunday 18 March 2012 2:39

Just wait, it's only getting started.

smilefaces8 2

Monday 19 March 2012 1:15

If there is a fire you will no befor the fire alarm

RedneckAngel 11

Sunday 13 May 2012 4:31

Just be happy yours only wails. My best friend had one that they bought from another family and the damn thing only knew one phrase: NOT ON MY FACE, ASSHOLE! Made dinners with her extremely religious parents very awkward.