Health: Today, an older man sat next to me while he ate his lunch. He...

By jules - 10/03/2011 07:53 - United States

Today, an older man sat next to me while he ate his lunch. He dropped what I assumed was his cutlery. Wanting to help out, I picked it up off the floor. It was his teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 219

You deserved it 5 035

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Same thing different taste

Ewwww, gross

By Tancred - 15/09/2011 07:36 - Canada

Today, at my job serving, I went to clear the plates when a guy said, "Hold on a second." Thinking he wasn't quite finished, I went to put the plate back. He then reached into his mouth, pulled out a dark brown object and threw it on the plate. It was a rotten tooth. I almost puked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 720

You deserved it 2 166

By Anonymous - 06/09/2013 11:55 - United States - Louisville

Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 601

You deserved it 2 891

Klutz

By Sara - 27/05/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 134

Introvert struggles

By knife knife - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Dalkeith

Today, I ate out, even though I was tired. When my main course arrived, I realised I had sent both my forks away with the starter plate. Rather than say anything, I ate dinner with two knives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 916

You deserved it 15 460

By Toothy_Peg - 13/06/2009 15:13 - Australia

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 216

You deserved it 4 326

By groom - 12/12/2008 02:30 - France

Today, I cut my nice and tasty home-made sandwich in half to give to a homeless man. He tasted it, pulled an unimpressed face, and then stuck it in his pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 492

You deserved it 3 148

By Ilovelife07 - 19/09/2009 04:47 - United States

Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 721

You deserved it 9 584

Stay classy

By militarywife2b - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - France

Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch." I had to wash his plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 133

You deserved it 2 230

By stupidtoothpick2 - 16/08/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 260

You deserved it 8 483

Spice

By Anonymous - 07/04/2021 04:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 956

manforgot 1

Thursday 10 March 2011 11:54

How on earth do you mistake teeth for cutlery?

3kitten3 10

Thursday 10 March 2011 12:04

You where partially correct. It was "cutlery". XD heehee

Comments

donicus 0

Thursday 10 March 2011 15:18

did he thank you for your assistance?

missory_missouri 0

Thursday 10 March 2011 15:18

Then, I guess you'd be completely fine with picking up a stranger's teeth? You, sir, are disgusting! Point: This is an adequate FML.

lulu121893 0

Thursday 10 March 2011 15:23

blehhhh. icky.

braunwynn 5

Thursday 10 March 2011 15:28

how is it FYL? he is the one whos teeth were on the ground and now taste like your hands.

techweed 12

Thursday 10 March 2011 15:41

this is such a stereotype, an old geezer drops his teeth, a guy disgustingly picks them up

RezaCookies 0

Thursday 10 March 2011 16:10

you mistook a tooth for cutlery..

khaya 9

Thursday 10 March 2011 18:43

Always make sure the old person doesn't bite, good thinking you just took it way to far.Shame on you.

InitiateMeDharma 3

Thursday 10 March 2011 18:45

NOM NOM NOM

ReginalUT 0

Thursday 10 March 2011 18:52

Really man how do you mistake false teeth with cutlery? YDI!

doctorspaceman 0

Thursday 10 March 2011 19:30

YDI - you should look before you pick things up.

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