Health: Today, as a recovering alcoholic, I called my brother to share...

By Jonny - 09/01/2012 04:07 - United States

Today, as a recovering alcoholic, I called my brother to share the news that I've been sober for a month. He invited me to a bar to celebrate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 429

You deserved it 3 375

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

You or the both of you?

By Anonymous - 03/10/2023 17:02 - United States

Today, I celebrated my friend's 5-month sobriety milestone with her by getting absolutely wasted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 1 218

Slippery slope

By ur_life_dus_suck - 21/01/2016 13:08 - United States - Wayne

Today, my mom celebrated a year's sobriety by having a couple of beers with her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 256

You deserved it 1 707

By Falling off the wagon - 09/11/2013 13:20 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, my uncle gave me a very expensive bottle of champagne at a celebratory family event. We were celebrating me spending 1 year sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 456

You deserved it 3 569

Cruel trick

By Anonymous - 15/12/2022 21:00 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, it's my one-year anniversary of being sober. For the occasion, my father decided to spice-up my non-alcoholic cocktail with booze. I didn't realize, and drank it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 680

You deserved it 132

By Anonymous - 01/01/2009 15:38 - France

Today, I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. On new years, my mom called and asked what kind of champagne I want. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 338

You deserved it 3 746

The wagon

By mhmm... cumsquats - 09/02/2013 23:26 - Belgium - Kessel-lo

Today, after much coaxing, I finally got my roommate to loosen up and have a couple of beers with me and my friends. It was only later in the evening that he admitted the real reason he hadn't wanted to drink: he's an alcoholic and had been sober for six months, until now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 935

You deserved it 61 416

I'm not drunk, you're drunk!

By katieemw95 - 23/09/2019 04:00

Today, I came home from partying all night, having stayed completely sober. My Dad, blind drunk, told me he was proud of me for staying sober. He claims to have been sober longer than I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 398

You deserved it 128

Pour some more funny!

By Bruce - 12/03/2023 00:00

Today, my alcoholic friend, who is now sober, told me I was a lot more fun when he was drinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 158

By thechimpchapter - 31/12/2011 06:48 - United States

Today, I found out that the neighbor I'd given a bottle of wine to for Christmas is a recovering alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 477

You deserved it 7 173

By notalcoholic - 09/12/2009 05:29 - Philippines

Today, my roommate gave me a self-help book on alcoholism for my birthday. He's an alcoholic. I gave him that book around 8 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 073

You deserved it 5 208

Jaxx66 21

Monday 9 January 2012 8:51

Seems like you shouldn't be calling him for a while! Sorry OP, keep up the good work though!

itsbreyo 5

Monday 9 January 2012 8:55

I don't understand why people vote for "you deserve it" on posts like these. Great job OP ;)

Comments

kickuwithmyfist 1

Monday 9 January 2012 9:01

Edward 40 hands that shit!!!

meben 0

Monday 9 January 2012 19:32

That's the way :-) get two cheap mickeys and tape that to your hands. Hellz ya!

agginbmi 2

Monday 9 January 2012 9:03

Sounds like he's planning an intervention.

ninjuh_wingman 29

Monday 9 January 2012 9:04

Maybe hes just checking to make sure youre telling the truth.

harrywestt 0

Monday 9 January 2012 9:05

congrats dude keep the work up. and maybe your bro just wasn't thinking or something.

GoW_Chick 14

Monday 9 January 2012 9:06

He was just trying to get you to relaspe so you could feel good about it a second time

Branflakes78 13

Monday 9 January 2012 13:41

Wtf is the point of that!!!

GoW_Chick 14

Monday 9 January 2012 14:45

Well it was a joke so the point is to laugh if you thought it was funny.

scarpicide 5

Monday 9 January 2012 9:16

He was going to to take you to the back room of the bar where they serve liver-saving drinks.

badam_fml 6

Monday 9 January 2012 9:19

Keep up the good work

Pentium_4 27

Monday 9 January 2012 9:24

nice suggestion. but still...

Enslaved 36

Monday 9 January 2012 9:24

Looks like it's an Odoul's for you!

JB184351 1

Monday 9 January 2012 9:27

His brother might not know the definition of sober lol

scarpicide 5

Monday 9 January 2012 9:31

Only if he's an idiot. Which is probably the case here.

Keywords

Work Money My ex Jealousy Love Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Relatable Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight

The Top

Today, at work, I'm supervising one person. Recently there's been tension between her and a couple of other coworkers, one of which was her friend. I spent the day running around and trying to smooth things over, just to find out what started this was her walking in on her former friend talking about her behind her back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 96

Today, I have a skin disease that causes my arms and legs to have small, but noticeable, red bumps on them. Trying to stay confident, I put on a swimsuit and went to the pool, only to be bumped into by a cute guy, who then asked why my arms were so "bumpy and disgusting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 109

The Top

Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 493

You deserved it 8 745

Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 411

You deserved it 2 447

Today, at the store, I heard a kid complaining about getting braces. While I was saying 'thank you' and 'bye' to the cashier, his grandma must've seen my slightly crooked teeth. She pointed and said, "Without them, your teeth will look bad like that man's!" Everyone around looked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 684

You deserved it 4 581

Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 807

You deserved it 2 749

Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you should pay more bills than me, since you’re taller, you eat more, drink more and your clothes take up more space in the washing machine”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 124

Today, I was babysitting my 8-year-old niece. I left her for 10 minutes so I could take a shower, only to walk in on her with her dress rolled up, peeing on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 303

You deserved it 457