Miscellaneous: Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the...

By Julianapilikusplatosophophes - 11/07/2015 03:49 - Australia - Kew

Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 950

You deserved it 2 876

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Same thing different taste

Night terrors

By Anonymous - 12/07/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at night to go to the toilet. My Dad was doing his thing with the toilet door wide open. I saw, screamed at the top of my lungs and peed my pants in horror. Now my throat hurts and I'm too embarrassed to look at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 372

You deserved it 543

Psychopath's joke

By hannieannie - 20/11/2019 01:00

Today, I’m still recovering from last night. I fell asleep before my boyfriend. He thought it would be funny to stand at the bottom of the bed with a knife and wake me up. I screamed so much that I wet myself and had a panic attack. He recorded the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 039

You deserved it 258

Not a morning person

By Anonymous - 15/07/2021 20:01 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 749

By StillBetterThanTwilight - 28/08/2012 15:56 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 589

You deserved it 2 608

By Anonymous - 01/02/2011 13:43 - United States

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 149

You deserved it 5 332

By Anonymous - 24/08/2016 14:26

Today, I woke up to my husband's face. That'd be nice if he hadn't turned his eyelids inside out, waiting to scare me. I was scared alright. So scared that I pissed myself and broke my side table falling out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 288

You deserved it 1 462

Panic!

By sweetdreams - 18/09/2016 06:39 - United States - New York

Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 780

You deserved it 1 408

By toni405 - 21/07/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 773

You deserved it 11 474

By Anonymous - 29/03/2011 23:58 - Canada

Today, I wound up in hospital because my boyfriend covered my face in fake gore while I was sleeping, to see if I was really as scared of blood as I claimed. Sure enough, when I saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I fainted, smashing my head against the counter on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 943

You deserved it 3 987

Noise Annoys

By Anonymous - 22/08/2019 06:04

Today, at three in the morning, I rolled out of bed in my sleep, landing butt-first into my trash can and scraping my arm on my bedside table. I cleaned up the mess I'd made and tried to stop my arm from bleeding. During which, my dad banged on the door and told me to keep it down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 557

You deserved it 216

Pingvinai 37

Saturday 11 July 2015 23:12

I suggest having holy water running through your toilet now.

pastel_fml 18

Saturday 11 July 2015 23:11

I wouldn't use the bathroom in the dead of night anymore either after that.

Comments

gamerdude99 9

Sunday 12 July 2015 5:37

I guess you will go shitless since he scared you shitless

Quasars 10

Sunday 12 July 2015 7:27

I had a dream where it was dark and a homeless man sprayed me with pepper spay then stabbed me to death. Maybe you have ants. Or Game of Thrones WhiteWalkers

1stones 8

Sunday 12 July 2015 7:51

Plot twist, your boyfriend is a genius and it was all planned

OtakuCore 14

Sunday 12 July 2015 8:01

Well, that's unnerving.

Hyenayena 27

Sunday 12 July 2015 9:04

Holy crap I hate this. One time I was having a bad time sleeping at my boyfriends , and because I couldn't sleep I used the bathroom and saw what appeared to be another silhouette behind me. I assumed it was him, no biggie. When I went back to his room he was there! So I couldn't sleep because his house is 100 years old and out on a farm where last summer, a neighbour of his was convicted of the murder of three people (Douglas Garland) and it was just overall unsettling

Humanoidfreak 5

Sunday 12 July 2015 10:07

step 1: take skin step 2: ????? step 3: profit

Fas4wd 13

Sunday 12 July 2015 12:46

HAHAHAHAHAH!!! But I do sympathise with you.

brenton490 19

Sunday 12 July 2015 15:45

That moment when you are in the restroom around that time reading this fml. Now I'm scared! Am I lucky cause I made it or am I now in the middle of this vicious circle!!!