Miscellaneous: Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't...

By killme - 07/03/2015 18:42 - United States - Broomfield

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 275

You deserved it 3 704

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

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Same thing different taste

Love is love

By Anonymous - 30/06/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my friend, who is gay, announced that he's getting married. I implored him to not invite my parents and (especially) my grandma, for reasons that I'm sure you can figure out, but he did anyway. Long story short, he's inconsolable. What excellent parents I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 127

Epic Boss Battle

By Anon - 04/01/2018 15:00

Today, hoping to seal the deal on a promotion, I had my boss over for dinner. My dad, who lives with me, started ranting about homosexuals burning in hell. My boss’s daughter is a lesbian. Now my dad’s nose is broken and I fear for my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 381

You deserved it 807

By Fuck you, Dad. Fuck you. - 19/06/2014 21:05 - Sweden - Sundbyberg

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 828

You deserved it 5 393

Mask off

By Anonymous - 09/04/2020 20:00 - India

Today, I found out that the guy I've been dating for a year is and always has been gay. I was apparently "an amazingly convenient beard" for his ultra-religious family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 943

You deserved it 210

Follow the lifescript

By Anonymous - 17/11/2023 07:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I came out to my parents as lesbian. Surprisingly, they were OK with it… just as long as I still marry a dude, give them grandbabies, and keep the whole lesbian thing a deep, dark, shameful secret that we never talk about again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 215

By Syferix - 18/03/2009 22:42 - United States

Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 658

You deserved it 27 061

By Anonymous - 03/06/2018 06:00 - United States - Peoria

Today, I finally came out to my dad, who is a priest, as gay. He responded by splashing me with holy water to "banish the demon within" me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 674

You deserved it 824

By Anonymous - 14/08/2011 20:21 - United Kingdom

Today, my religious parents were hosting a family dinner. Not only did we have to wait over an hour for my grandma to finally show up, but when she did, she had her 30 year old boytoy in tow. Apparently, "Granny has needs too you know, hahaha!" Goodbye peaceful family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 323

You deserved it 3 270

Trolling for soup

By he's a dawk, and a cunt - 05/07/2013 22:29 - Australia - Darling Point

Today, my boyfriend and I went to my parents' barbecue. He knew my family is extremely religious, so what did he do? Called for silence to make an announcement, namely: "God isn't real." Cue a riot that ended in us being kicked out and me all but disowned for "putting him up to it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 261

You deserved it 8 118

Family values

By this is impossible - 05/01/2016 00:21 - United States - Norristown

Today, my dad sat me and my sister down and give us a "talk". More like an angry irrational rant. He forbade us from being gay, marrying a Muslim or a black person, demanded kids from both of us, and threatened to disown us if we didn't. Where's my free will? FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 472

You deserved it 2 422

Ruthie86 3

Sunday 8 March 2015 5:18

I made an account just for this. That was, literally, the funniest thing i have read on this site.

smalltownman 15

Sunday 8 March 2015 5:16

That sounds like a guy I'd like to be friends with. lol

Comments

asherm 15

Sunday 8 March 2015 11:04

Lol!! Your dad has my kind of sense of humor. Just has more balls than me. I have to know my audience before I say stuff like that. Even in military, some people get offended. :/

sprints54 19

Sunday 8 March 2015 11:06

You should tell them it was a joke not a dick don't take it so hard

Weiss_Schnee 14

Sunday 8 March 2015 11:20

For all you people in the comments saying this is disrespectful to gays, I'm gay and I found this funny.

Psycho_Babydoll 26

Sunday 8 March 2015 12:15

That's good, but it still doesn't mean it's not offensive. (That said, I snorted and instantly thought 'oh lord I'm going to hell for that')

0mysteriousman0 22

Sunday 8 March 2015 11:27

That's the kind of dinner conversation id love to sit back and watch the fireworks... Awesome trolling by dad!!!

Pandacupcakelove 26

Sunday 8 March 2015 12:52

Good for him! Sometimes you have to make provocative jokes. People who get super offended whenever somebody makes a joke about their religion need to get over themselves. People make jokes about everything.