Work: Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed... - FML

By thwack - 24/05/2012 18:26 - United States

Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 089

You deserved it 3 984

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Same thing different taste

By Chef stupid - 11/08/2016 15:32 - United States - Houston

Today, while working at a fine-dining restaurant, I was dicing veggies. I was paying such close attention to make sure the veggies were all the same size, that I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 161

You deserved it 2 536

Close

By Anonymous - 10/12/2018 22:00

Today I had a narrow escape with a nailgun that nailed my workboot to the floor but luckily missed my foot. After I calmed down and changed boots I returned to the nailgun, started working again and barely 30 seconds later I managed to nail my thumb to a piece of wood. Man, I'm bad at my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 439

You deserved it 1 275

By Anonymous - 08/08/2018 20:30

Today, at 9 o’clock in the morning while I was working, I made the mistake of being comfortable with a machine that literally bends and breaks steel bars. I lost my entire middle finger and the top third of my pinky and ring fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 736

You deserved it 1 558

ER time

By sero - 10/08/2022 04:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I cut my hand on nothing while at work. It bled so much, I began to feel woozy, and everyone kept brushing me off when I asked where the first aid kits were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 132

By AHHH_REPTAR - 23/06/2016 04:54 - United States - Spearfish

Today, while drilling holes in "No Smoking" signs for my job, I gave myself a minor cut that would appear to most as a papercut. I then had to fill out 3 double-sided pages of paperwork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 637

You deserved it 1 398

By figgy - 29/11/2010 10:46 - United States

Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 271

You deserved it 6 092

Kitchen Nightmares

By just the tip, though - 28/01/2014 17:06 - United States - Grovetown

Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 026

You deserved it 11 936

Snowflake

By Bullocks - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Rochester

Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not with any of the sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 574

You deserved it 4 535

By 41k312 - 01/11/2016 05:03

Today, while joking with my coworkers about how I shouldn't be trusted with a stapler because I managed to accidentally staple my finger last week, I stapled another finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 746

You deserved it 3 631

By caitywebbkid - 11/12/2016 15:56 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 800

You deserved it 816

Next

Top comments

gonad_gobbler 1

Thursday 24 May 2012 23:02

who has 1 and 3/4 a thumb and just ruined the safety demonstration? *points to himself* this guy.

Headcrab 29

Thursday 24 May 2012 22:58

Well now you know what NOT to do :-)

Comments

perdix 29

Friday 25 May 2012 6:26

When they schedule sexual harassment training, call in sick that day! That's one tip you don't want to lose ;) PS: The course is a big lie -- I thought they were going to train us how to sexually harass our co-workers more effectively. When I found out what it was really about, they made me put my dick away :(

unknown_user5566 26

Friday 25 May 2012 6:51

Actions speak louder than words!

BMC1999 0

Friday 25 May 2012 8:45

Well That's not ironic

BenTaz 7

Friday 25 May 2012 10:44

Seriously how the **** did you manage that ?

groupleader 7

Friday 25 May 2012 12:16

Wrong place...right time.

SexyMcKittington 3

Friday 25 May 2012 15:02

Is your name Martin Creiff?

Bluedog42 7

Friday 25 May 2012 15:06

Well, I hope you learned something.

annihil8or 15

Friday 25 May 2012 17:22

So does your vote still count as much as everyone else's?

FireFlie07 20

Friday 25 May 2012 17:58

I've heard this one before....

myndmelt 4

Friday 25 May 2012 18:37

At least you didn't shoot your self in the foot/leg during a gun safety lecture.

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I went on vacation. We flew 2000 miles, got off the plane, got our bags and stood outside the airport for our ride. She looks at me and says, "I can't do this anymore." So, she broke up with me and flew back home. Now I'm on vacation alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 325

You deserved it 4 035

Today, my Facebook was hacked. The hacker messaged all my online friends, explaining that "I" was overseas, had run out of money and needed help. Not one person cared enough to respond. I guess the hacker picked the wrong target. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 397

You deserved it 5 121

The Top

Today, our old internet provider withdrew over $1,000 from our account for equipment they acknowledged receiving weeks ago, using preauthorized debit they claimed to have cancelled. Reimbursement will take 4 to 8 weeks. Our first mortgage payment is due just hours before my next pay cheque. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 687

You deserved it 411

Today, the guy I broke up with for not putting any effort into the relationship asked if he could make it up to me by taking me out to lunch. He stood me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 040

You deserved it 7 030

Today, I went to get my hair cut. My stylist had the greatest tattoo of a rat on her arm. I spent the whole appointment thinking about how cool the tattoo was, and what an interesting person she must be to choose such a thing. So I complimented her on it and she said, "Oh it's a wolf." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 324

You deserved it 7 188

Today, I had an enjoyable Tinder date, but I wasn't feeling any physical attraction because of her short hair. I let her know, to which she replied, "I don't like it either but growing it after chemo is a slow process." FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 3 531

Today, on my first date with a guy I really like, I threw up not once, not twice, but three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 150

Today, I spoke with my boyfriend about where we want to live when I graduate. He says he doesn't know what he wants and his mother wouldn't approve of us living together. We've been together 3 years with the understanding we would live together once I graduated my Master's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 824

You deserved it 928