Health: Today, I accidentally deep throated a fork. FML

By CaoiiBieber - 17/07/2011 19:15 - Ireland

Today, I accidentally deep throated a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 255

You deserved it 38 874

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Same thing different taste

Hangry dude

By Anonymous - 07/08/2021 20:01

Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 248

By Nick - 11/02/2010 18:35 - United States

Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 496

You deserved it 5 583

By 8sq - 11/06/2011 01:32 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that yes, a fork can get stuck in your braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 605

You deserved it 16 358

By Anonymous - 04/03/2016 16:47 - United States - Suwanee

Today, I had so much skin peeling off my lips that it got caught in my fork as I was eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 254

You deserved it 5 506

Introvert struggles

By knife knife - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Dalkeith

Today, I ate out, even though I was tired. When my main course arrived, I realised I had sent both my forks away with the starter plate. Rather than say anything, I ate dinner with two knives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 919

You deserved it 15 488

By M2thaM - 29/05/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 603

You deserved it 56 776

By Anonymous - 22/05/2019 00:01

Today, a fork hit me in the eye. I was holding it. I didn't even get to eat my chicken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 410

You deserved it 560

By lectro - 23/11/2008 08:22 - France

Today, I swallowed the piercing that I had bought for my tongue yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 929

You deserved it 31 039

By Anonymous - 11/07/2013 17:08 - United States - Fresno

Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told me to "take it deeper". I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 705

You deserved it 54 239

By Dipping Tired - 20/04/2016 23:17 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, while half asleep, I dipped my finger in ketchup instead of a fry, and bit down on it so hard I needed stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 757

You deserved it 7 197

JayBear14 11

Monday 18 July 2011 0:25

how does that work?

Captain_Obvious2_fml 6

Monday 18 July 2011 0:58

i had trouble clicking this...

Comments

ugotjewed 0

Monday 18 July 2011 0:43

practice makes perfect ;)?

BigBrownEyes675 0

Monday 18 July 2011 0:45

haha! practice with carrots! not forks!

bewbies 3

Monday 18 July 2011 2:00

is that what u do? :)

hzlzkgzkgzchxuxh 3

Monday 18 July 2011 0:45

great practice

soccertc12 0

Monday 18 July 2011 0:45

Today, I got a massive boner from reading an FML...

goaliemkl123 8

Monday 18 July 2011 5:15

that's all it takes for u?

goaliemkl123 8

Monday 18 July 2011 5:15

that's all it takes for u?

Ninja_Talorabee 0

Monday 18 July 2011 8:09

I know!!!! u could replace that fork she choked on!!! haha jk lol

RainbowzSkittlez 6

Monday 18 July 2011 0:45

or a pickle? but it would be kind of small lol

bigbadtim 7

Monday 18 July 2011 0:46

That's why you should stick with spooning.

Eiregal 7

Monday 18 July 2011 1:39

lol I love that picture! daleks,love them!

youngbuck10 9

Monday 18 July 2011 0:49

Well I guess you can take any size to the throat now!

sceneblondie 8

Monday 18 July 2011 0:49

ouch :( that's got to hurt

kportal69 5

Monday 18 July 2011 0:49

how do you 'accidentally' deep throat a fork?

Loka4Ever 4

Monday 18 July 2011 0:49

is that possible??

lmaoatall 6

Monday 18 July 2011 2:08

yep!

Loka4Ever 4

Monday 18 July 2011 4:52

apparently so...

Keywords

Awkward Lonely Love Party Transportation Cars ADHD Work Mental health Ironic Vacation Accident Miscellaneous Grandparents Kids Annoying Covid Health Cute Shopping Coworkers Dogs Animals Videos Photography Art Sex Intimacy Exhausted Money

The Top

Today, my husband thought I was still asleep while he was getting ready for work. How do I know? I watched him grab a condom out of his nightstand and put it in his lunchbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 84

Today, it's Thanksgiving and I've spent the last few days imploring my husband not to antagonize my Trump-loving family by talking about the fact that they didn't look into what tariffs were at the time, and now they might have to close their business. Wish me luck… FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 235

The Top

Today, I was awoken at the ungodly hour of 1 a.m. to find that everything was very dark and quiet. It took me way more time than I'd like to admit to figure out that there was a blackout. As I tried to doze off again, I was jump-scared by the sound of everything coming on again. This happened twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 157

Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment, when I came across a lacy black thong in the laundry. When confronted, he swore it was his. I don't know what's worse, the possibility that another woman left it there, or the idea that my boyfriend owns and wears women's lingerie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 464

You deserved it 3 275

Today, my boyfriend proposed via text, after telling me that he'd slept with his step-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 514

You deserved it 190

Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truckstop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud, that I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 126

Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 023

You deserved it 3 098

Today, I accidentally called my friend by the wrong name. She's no longer speaking to me, because she thinks I have absolutely zero respect for her, and don’t care about her at all. In reality, she just looks exactly like the person whose name I called her by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 186

You deserved it 336

Same thing different taste

Hangry dude

Introvert struggles

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