Miscellaneous: Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while...

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 18:55 - United States

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 863

You deserved it 4 724

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Frostbite

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was cold and alone at work, so I decided to try and warm myself up on the panini toaster. As I was holding the top side open and my other hand over the hot metal, I accidentally closed the door on my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 525

You deserved it 41 853

No good deed…

By williebees - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Huntsville

Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 920

You deserved it 2 522

Night on the tiles

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Ireland - Gorey

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 983

You deserved it 46 606

The struggle

By lizi - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Saint Andrews

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 047

You deserved it 838

Right back!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 410

You deserved it 932

By Anonymous - 06/02/2016 01:34 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 439

You deserved it 2 181

Boxing

By Holly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I had to wait in a hospital room because I cut myself with a knife while trying to open a box of soda. After three stitches, I went home only to notice the box has an easy-open tab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 519

You deserved it 32 194

Suspicious

By StevieMe - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 782

You deserved it 99 808

Handy

By screwed - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was teaching a woodshop class. We were using power tools, including drills, and pieces of pine wood. While helping a kid to hold a piece to practice drilling, he went too far forward with the drill. It went through my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 228

You deserved it 12 243

Hang in there

By ouch - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 805

You deserved it 4 984

n_london 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 23:34

this is a classic fml. that really sucks. and who the **** votes YDI on this?

kingbob337 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 23:31

ouch ouch ouch

Comments

screwtaylor 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 23:36

So I'm guessing your wife doesn't like seeing blood? I wonder how she handles her periods.

allmidnighteyes 10

Wednesday 26 August 2009 23:41

Maybe his wife is the same girl from recent FMLs who got sick at the sight of her own period?

CyclonePsycho 1

Wednesday 26 August 2009 23:41

Period blood =/= regular blood. A person can faint at the sight of blood, but won't be phased at all by her periods. @OP: FYL. Seriously, some of these whiny bastards here should take a look at this FML and remember that their life isn't that bad. =

curryndricegirll 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 23:48

i think the puking is more from the fact that it's the same knife she uses to cook with. and having your period and getting sick at the sight of blood is not the same thing.

plethora 3

Thursday 27 August 2009 4:25

That and the fact that he probably sprayed blood all over her kitchen. And possibly her as well.

ThatDopeKid 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 23:36

DAAAAAYUUUUMMM ouch man

JayXL14 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 23:39

holy fvck talk about a bad day..............

dustbunny10 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 23:40

ahhh!!! soooo grosssss!!!

Brian0192 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 23:41

The life of the wife is ended by the knife? wait...

whoaelena 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 3:18

STEWIE!

iandevaan 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 23:43

YDI for being black

XRiseToFallAgain 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 23:44

Second tbh. And I don't quite get why she was puking?

Khalavaster 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 23:44

dude, how is that possible? she cutting sideways midair or something? i cant imagine how that would happen, but FYL.

amiotica 2

Wednesday 26 August 2009 23:58

maybe op made a noise when he jerked his hand back and startled her and she raised the knife thinking that she hit him with it or something was wrong or whatever and then he hit it.... it makes perfect sense