Miscellaneous: Today, I accidentally texted the girl I like, "Oh god, I just...

By Boneo and Juliet - 16/07/2015 19:22 - United States - Amherst

Today, I accidentally texted the girl I like, "Oh god, I just choked on a boner." I meant bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 841

You deserved it 5 013

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Same thing different taste

Nice try

By Proof-Reader - 15/12/2009 08:32 - United States

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 418

You deserved it 31 993

By in big trouble - 23/08/2014 12:28 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I had an argument with my boss and tried to text a friend about it. I accidentally texted my boss instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 394

You deserved it 25 976

By kingmetal42 - 09/02/2010 19:10 - France

Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 981

You deserved it 27 874

By Anonymous - 11/03/2017 12:00

Today, after a brief FaceTime session, I accidentally texted my father what was meant for my boyfriend. I had to downplay it, but it still made me want to crawl 50 ft below the earth and stay there a few days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 607

You deserved it 1 326

I'm a weirdoooooo

By Anonymous - 18/07/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I sent a text to the girl I like, asking if she wanted to "hang out." Autocorrect changed it to "hand out," and she responded by asking what I was handing out. I panicked and replied, "My love." Now she thinks I'm a weirdo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 502

By tinypenis - 04/06/2013 12:15 - United States - Jamaica

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 821

You deserved it 71 871

Freudian slip

By Anonymous - 24/02/2023 14:00

Today, I accidentally sent a text message meant for my best friend to my boss. The text was about how much I hated my job and my boss's constant micromanagement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 1 055

Been there, done that

By randomgirl - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally called my teacher "Babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 355

You deserved it 15 023

Just a prank, again

By momaaa1342 - 21/10/2013 03:51 - United States - Elmwood

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 723

You deserved it 3 605

By drpepperking10 - 02/07/2016 23:27 - United States

Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 360

You deserved it 3 264

BlackFames 16

Friday 17 July 2015 0:35

Stick with your story, man. That's what I always do.

hotheadslav 17

Friday 17 July 2015 0:35

Just text her back and say you meant bone. I'm sure she'll understand it was a mistake and maybe you guys can laugh about it!

Comments

parrchristianna 14

Friday 17 July 2015 0:35

wow embarrassing!

interesting33 36

Friday 17 July 2015 0:45

Eh it doesn't have to be, depends on the relationship and how you handle it - just explain it was your phone and laugh about it :)

tranced_ 45

Friday 17 July 2015 1:55

that's just a pro boner case. .

Angelrose2004 17

Friday 17 July 2015 2:53

Stupid autocorrect screws us all over. What a witch!

ChristianH39 30

Friday 17 July 2015 8:07

Hope she has a sense of humor!

BlackFames 16

Friday 17 July 2015 0:35

Stick with your story, man. That's what I always do.

NotGabe 28

Friday 17 July 2015 1:41

Quick, OP needs to find a boner to choke on! Any takers?

DoomSkuller 28

Friday 17 July 2015 5:45

I volunteer!

Wakachulak 22

Friday 17 July 2015 6:40

That could work for him, girls like bisexual men.

alexanderavatar 24

Friday 17 July 2015 16:58

even if he properly spelt bone i dont think she would give a shit

docphilsman 15

Friday 17 July 2015 0:35

I guess you could say you're boned

Zgamerz 11

Friday 17 July 2015 4:32

Congratulations, you're now, "that guy"

docphilsman 15

Saturday 18 July 2015 23:08

I don't mind. anything for the pun

Zwerik 31

Friday 17 July 2015 0:35

Hopefully she doesn't think you're just some dick...

MrSassypants 33

Friday 17 July 2015 1:09

Yeah, instead she thinks he was just getting some dick.

hotheadslav 17

Friday 17 July 2015 0:35

Just text her back and say you meant bone. I'm sure she'll understand it was a mistake and maybe you guys can laugh about it!

dyne808 34

Saturday 18 July 2015 20:31

yeah, i cant really see how this is an fml... wouldnt it just be a "lol autocorrect" moment then the convo moves on?

Dean__Winchester 16

Friday 17 July 2015 0:35

Bone Appétit!

feytensn 25

Friday 17 July 2015 0:35

If she thought it was funny, marry her!

myGRAM 14

Friday 17 July 2015 3:02

Great criteria for making a life long commitment

feytensn 25

Saturday 18 July 2015 18:26

No but humor is!

Yazoo77 16

Friday 17 July 2015 0:35

Boneo and Julliet ? perfect.

ahippienamedrae 10

Friday 17 July 2015 5:51

oh nomeo

Jashie 18

Saturday 18 July 2015 2:21

Why is this down voted

sorenipples 9

Friday 17 July 2015 0:36

Proofread your text messages. Always.

MagnusDeus 24

Friday 17 July 2015 0:40

If I were her, I would reply, "oh my god me too!"

Keywords

Animals Cats Embarrassing Christmas Health Work Awkward Love Anniversary Boredom Abuse Ironic Intimacy Drunk AITA Transportation Am I overreacting? Alcohol Parents Gun control Kids Language Mysterious Noise Relatable Money Miscellaneous Food Delivery Family

The Top

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 332

You deserved it 6 125

Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 974

You deserved it 3 568

The Top

Today, after almost a year of no steady work, I struggled to get anything done once my 7-months pregnant girlfriend woke up at noon. She wanted to talk the whole time, and eventually broke down crying because of her relationship with her mother. I spent the the day consoling her. No wonder I can't get any work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 625

You deserved it 778

Today, I had to pick up my drunk mom at bar. While we were driving home, she thanked me over and over again, and then said, "Thank god you have no life!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 739

You deserved it 4 507

Today, I got stuck in an elevator with a guy I have a bit of a crush on. Trying to break the awkward silence, I made a joke about our situation, saying, "Well, at least we're not on a desert island." He replied, "Yeah, but I'd still prefer the island; at least then I could escape." FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 142

Today, I got stuck in rush hour traffic and rushed to the daycare to pick my daughter up. They charged me a late fee for being one minute late. ONE minute. When I protested, the lady said she was gonna scream and call the police if I didn’t pay. It was my last $100 before next payday… next Friday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 175

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids. When we were on the Ferris wheel, I discovered my fear of heights. I hyperventilated, screamed from our seat "LET ME OUT! OH GOD LET ME OUT!!" I also began crying hysterically. They stopped the ride for me to get off. I'm a 45 year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 224

You deserved it 16 100

Today, my friend started choking while at a Hard Rock Cafe. I jumped up and tried to give her the Heimlich maneuver, only for her to throw up all over the table and stagger out of the place. I stood there as the waiter asked if I wanted to split the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 790

You deserved it 3 295

Same thing different taste

Nice try

I'm a weirdoooooo

Freudian slip

Been there, done that

Just a prank, again

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