Kids: Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was...

By riiiighhhttttt - 05/08/2013 05:38 - United States - Laurel

Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 701

You deserved it 4 349

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Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

Beyond help

By Anonymous - 03/04/2015 18:43 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I explained to my sister that the reason she isn't getting job offers is probably because her résumé is in Comic Sans and contains TXT language and a lot of typos. She thanked me for my help by calling me a "clueless horse-fucker" and telling me to shut my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 992

You deserved it 2 511

Too realistic

By ThatLove - 05/04/2023 18:00 - Switzerland - Worb

Today, I had to explain to my housemate that the cast of "The Crown" is not the real Royal Family impersonating themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 109

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 19:05 - United States - Brandon

Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 729

You deserved it 4 658

Too awkward to function

By Anonymous - 27/06/2023 23:00 - United States - Stillwater

Today, my sister told me she doesn't think her mom died the way she was told. Uncomfortable, I declined to give my 2 cents on the matter, saying, "I'm sorry" and, "Oh sh!t, sorry." She started gaslighting me about how I wasn't listening, and I told her I was sorry for being a piece of shit, so she then gaslit me about that too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 693

They exist

By baffleduncle - 27/07/2019 20:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I listened to my niece explain to me, in great detail, that the Titanic never sank, and that the year it supposedly did was a prediction of 9/11. She learned all of this from some whackjob conspiracy theory videos, and acts like she's an expert now as a result. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 846

You deserved it 157

By Anonymous - 28/04/2013 03:16 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I had to explain to a friend that the show writers for Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 years old, and she reacted by kicking a chair at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 231

You deserved it 3 448

By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 21:56 - United States

Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 354

You deserved it 3 821

By anon - 17/12/2015 18:45

Today, I had to explain to someone in my class who Gandhi really was and that he was not a fictional goblin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 640

You deserved it 1 653

By Brastro - 07/04/2009 11:46 - Ireland

Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 989

You deserved it 179 148

By sickdisney - 21/05/2012 18:42 - United States - Riverside

Today, I watched a movie with my little sister. I couldn't understand a word that was said during one scene, but I figured it was in some kind of made-up language. When I commented on it later, she called me a moron and said it was Spanish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 119

You deserved it 36 007

goingsolo211 8

Monday 5 August 2013 19:00

And now you're gonna tell me Santa isnt real too?

rg350dx 29

Monday 5 August 2013 19:22

You might want to consider dental hygiene if you're old enough to live alone and are still losing teeth.

Comments

thatnucca 36

Monday 5 August 2013 19:17

Stop spilling the beans before you have a magic beanstalk grow out your backyard OP...

backwoodsartdiva 14

Monday 5 August 2013 19:18

Actually, Shrek was based on a real person.

KiddNYC1O 20

Monday 5 August 2013 23:27

Yes, my coworker. Lol

rg350dx 29

Monday 5 August 2013 19:22

You might want to consider dental hygiene if you're old enough to live alone and are still losing teeth.

FimogenFeels 14

Monday 5 August 2013 19:23

Is she older or much younger than you?

tj4234 35

Monday 5 August 2013 19:31

It's based off of a book which took inspiration from a true story...

tj4234 35

Monday 5 August 2013 20:38

@ the people who thumbed my comment down... Google it if you don't believe me > . >

MissMustard 20

Monday 5 August 2013 19:32

*insert generic comment of mock sarcastic shock here*

Zimmington 21

Monday 5 August 2013 19:34

Depending on her age we know who got all the smarts.

SolarFlare 20

Monday 5 August 2013 19:34

I wish donkey was real!!

JasonUMN 15

Monday 5 August 2013 19:36

Then I saw her face...now I'm a believer!

LissaMccracken 23

Monday 5 August 2013 19:36

Don't lie!!... It is all true!!! Shrek is my cousin :(

Keywords

Miscellaneous TV shows Coworkers Work Awkward Politics Embarrassing Ironic Relatable Transportation Social Media Instagram Shopping Parenting Jealousy Love AITA Am I overreacting? Kids Friends Dogs Pranks Housework Cars Technology Porn Health Sports Accident Mental health

The Top

Today, at work, I handed an old man his drink, and our fingers accidentally brushed. He gave me a creepy wink and a smile, but I ignored it. He's now been sitting in the store for two hours watching me. Only four hours to go until I get off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 828

You deserved it 2 483

Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 432

You deserved it 21 173

The Top

Today, I called my sister and asked if she could watch my baby while I went to the store for desperately needed groceries and supplies. She refused, despite the fact that she's randomly dropped off her three rambunctious boys more times than I could count so she could go clubbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 041

You deserved it 285

Today, I cursed out a school bus driver for blocking me from making a turn. What’s wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 1 055

Today, my dad has indoctrinated my boyfriend into anime. He'd never heard of anime before but now, as soon as he gets home from work, he and dad sit to watch episodes together while ignoring me. It’s gotten so bad I haven’t had sex in two weeks because my boyfriend comes to bed too late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 119

You deserved it 314

Today, I texted a girl who I had hooked up with the night before to see if she wanted to hang out again. She responded, "I think we should keep it the way it was, before last night." I just met her last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 811

You deserved it 13 781

Today, my girlfriend of one month and I had an amazing night of dinner and dancing, but when I leaned in to kiss her, she said, "You're joking right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 457

You deserved it 4 020

Today, I was looking for a moustache comb, couldn't find it anywhere. Then I noticed it in a basket by the toilet with scissors. My wife's been using it to trim her pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 177

You deserved it 2 314