Health: Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with...

By Anonymous - 14/02/2019 16:35 - United States

Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 910

You deserved it 7 954

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Same thing different taste

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 281

You deserved it 4 015

By Anonymous - 21/04/2009 15:15 - United States

Today, my husband and I were looking for a new house. The open house we were in had a strange floral scent to entice the buyers. I am three months pregnant and have horrible morning sickness. I threw up all over the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 253

You deserved it 4 804

By Anonymouse - 07/11/2015 02:03

Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 919

You deserved it 2 172

By GeesLouisee - 01/05/2018 15:00

Today, at 32 weeks pregnant, I found my boyfriend passed out face down in his own vomit. Not only does our freshly-painted game room now smell like a dirty bar, but he also let our 2 strictly indoor cats outside. They have yet to return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 827

You deserved it 535

By Anonymous - 04/12/2013 22:08 - United States - Marsing

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 470

You deserved it 12 274

By kady - 04/01/2010 20:16 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was holding my hair back while I threw up. The smell then reached him and caused him to throw up in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 944

You deserved it 6 641

Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 971

You deserved it 7 926

By anonymous - 14/03/2012 05:18 - Canada

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 059

You deserved it 14 185

By Anonymous - 18/08/2015 22:55 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I am two months pregnant. Being super hormonal, I was crying about how much I was crying. My husband put his arms around me to comfort me, and I sobbed so hard that I threw up all over him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 376

You deserved it 3 129

By queen_lol - 10/05/2016 17:14 - United States

Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 514

You deserved it 2 186

zp5 4

Wednesday 10 November 2010 0:23

boyfriend: "hey guys, i farted and it smelled so bad that my girlfriend threw up all over the coffee table. LOL!" his friends: "whoooa that is so cool." "that is awesome." "hilarious." "i wish my farts smelled that bad!"

TryptamineDreame 0

Wednesday 10 November 2010 0:26

You should give him one of your rotten pregnancy farts right in his mouth while he's sleeping. He probably wouldn't be laughing then.

Comments

Shazbanger 0

Wednesday 10 November 2010 10:45

LMFAO ROFL LOL

paddyH 0

Wednesday 10 November 2010 10:51

Your boyfriend gives me hope in life =]

Julietta_fml 4

Wednesday 10 November 2010 11:10

#104- wtf is your problem? could you maybe take yourself a bit MORE seriously? and dear OP, this is super funny, and you should totally fart in his face while he's sleeping

77taylah33 0

Wednesday 10 November 2010 11:25

how old is your boyfriend?!?!?!?!?

tragickingdom 0

Wednesday 10 November 2010 11:50

jeffswife... Nice tag, by the way. Judging by your name, and the fact that you married so young, AND already have 2 "planned' children by 21, I wonder if you ever had time to really enjoy yourself. Being a young adult is great, and it's a shame you missed out by becoming a housewife who defines herself as someone's wife. This is probably why you are so goddam serious, and so sure that you are better than the rest of us. I can definitely see you as one of those empty-headed woman who's lives center around their man, with their biggest goal in life being "oh, i just want to be a mother." While you were married and procreating, I was having a lot of fun. At this point, I'm ready to settle down and take care of my child, but life certainly isn't perfect. But life is perfect for you, right? With your brand new mini van, and little house with white-picket fence? A fluffy white cat named precious? Hot meal on the table when your man comes home from work? Please. Realize that my FML story is all in good fun, and perhaps you should learn to have a little sense of humor yourself. Oh, and since you seem to completely lack the ability to recognize sarcasm and wit....this entire post should be read as sarcasm. Have a good day, wifey.

fearfulsymmetry 1

Wednesday 10 November 2010 19:58

I think someone is a little bitter that their life isn't like jeffswife....

iwadasn 32

Wednesday 10 November 2010 20:06

The fact that you view marriage and having a good time as mutually exclusive proves how immature you are. Why don't you spend a few more years partying and try this conversation again after you've grown up a little, hmm?