Intimacy: Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday....

By Anonymous - 26/09/2014 21:07 - United States - Pensacola

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 207

You deserved it 8 203

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Same thing different taste

By cahsecuel - 14/08/2014 20:44 - France - Grisolles

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 655

You deserved it 7 137

Bad influence

By Anonymous - 22/01/2015 18:27 - United States - Katy

Today, my in-laws were visiting. My mother-in-law asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He said "A pimp!" I have no idea where he even heard the word, but the death glares my in-laws gave me made me want to shrivel up and die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 282

You deserved it 3 185

Denied

By Anonymous - 05/09/2020 02:02

Today, my wife asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I said sex. She told me to grow up and ask for something more realistic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 946

You deserved it 378

By marie0908 - 17/12/2014 05:29 - France - Siros

Today, my 6-year-old son asked me what a "sex toy" was. Not really knowing what to tell him, I said it was a game. He's asked for one for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 287

You deserved it 13 608

Issues

By Badkitty14 - 09/08/2012 20:16 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 679

You deserved it 3 721

Good question

By Anonymous - 17/10/2024 05:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, my six year-old son asked me, "Dad, what's a glory hole?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 114

By Anonymous - 08/06/2013 10:34 - United States - Bessemer

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 540

You deserved it 15 220

By blegh - 27/12/2011 21:50 - United Kingdom

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 142

You deserved it 8 884

Oversharing

By Anonymous - 13/03/2020 12:30

Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 879

You deserved it 270

By Anonymous - 25/11/2013 19:47 - United States - Olive Branch

Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 964

You deserved it 13 842

domking1315 20

Saturday 27 September 2014 5:11

Man knows what he wants

cyanidesandwich 21

Saturday 27 September 2014 5:12

All I want for my birthday are big booty hoes...

Comments

rsg0001 15

Saturday 27 September 2014 8:16

That is every boys dream

rsg0001 15

Saturday 27 September 2014 8:17

Hands don't always do the trick.

nider 19

Saturday 27 September 2014 8:52

I thought “maybe he meant horse”, but then again that's not really a mistake one should be making at 12.

alanharvey15 13

Saturday 27 September 2014 9:08

sound like some one need a talk and maybe set straight never call a girl a ***** you might not like what will happen next

Jamaican_Domo 10

Saturday 27 September 2014 9:13

He's the real mvp

myrle0 11

Saturday 27 September 2014 9:26

Its ur reflection indeed! :-D

MrSweeps 5

Saturday 27 September 2014 9:29

It's your fault for raising him that way, to even know what that shit is. He's a product of his upbringing, reap what you've sown.

MiaTheMartian 21

Saturday 27 September 2014 9:33

Please raise him to be respectful and not view people as objects.

annarcheer 19

Saturday 27 September 2014 10:26

get him Justin bieber..

bombielol 20

Saturday 27 September 2014 10:48

get the boy what he wants

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML

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Today, I was taking a shower when the soap began to burn my eyes worse than they've ever burned before. I quickly grabbed whatever cloth I could find to rub my eyes with. My dad's old underwear was the last thing I would expect to find lying near the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 409

You deserved it 5 771

The Top

Today, I had to wash my cat. Twice. The first time was because he decided to roll over in the litter tray after using it. The second was the result of him pissing on the floor, then rolling in it right after I'd dried him from the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 438

You deserved it 265

Today, I saw that my boyfriend of 3 years had posted pictures with the girl he says he “sees as a best friend” wearing matching pajamas. He’d told me he wasn’t into the pajamas thing when I wanted to do it. He doesn’t get why I’m upset and told me I’m overreacting about some silly post between “two best friends.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 144

Today, I tried to save a dying bird I found on the sidewalk. I got a parking ticket for $114 in front of the animal hospital. I later found out the bird died. FML

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You deserved it 7 902

Today, I was bowling with a woman I like. At the end of the night, I was trying to decide whether I should ask her out. I went up to her and said, "It was fun bowling with you." She said, "Thank you, Patrick." My name isn't Patrick. FML

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You deserved it 146

Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 368

You deserved it 29 517

Today, I was supposed to see my boyfriend for his birthday. He said his parents were coming down and it may not be a good time for us to really enjoy each other. Last night I saw a picture of him feeding popcorn to baby llamas with his drunk stoner friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 707

You deserved it 252