Intimacy: Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday....

By Anonymous - 26/09/2014 21:07 - United States - Pensacola

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 207

You deserved it 8 203

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Same thing different taste

By cahsecuel - 14/08/2014 20:44 - France - Grisolles

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 655

You deserved it 7 137

Bad influence

By Anonymous - 22/01/2015 18:27 - United States - Katy

Today, my in-laws were visiting. My mother-in-law asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He said "A pimp!" I have no idea where he even heard the word, but the death glares my in-laws gave me made me want to shrivel up and die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 282

You deserved it 3 185

Denied

By Anonymous - 05/09/2020 02:02

Today, my wife asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I said sex. She told me to grow up and ask for something more realistic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 946

You deserved it 378

By marie0908 - 17/12/2014 05:29 - France - Siros

Today, my 6-year-old son asked me what a "sex toy" was. Not really knowing what to tell him, I said it was a game. He's asked for one for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 287

You deserved it 13 608

Issues

By Badkitty14 - 09/08/2012 20:16 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 679

You deserved it 3 721

Good question

By Anonymous - 17/10/2024 05:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, my six year-old son asked me, "Dad, what's a glory hole?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 114

By Anonymous - 08/06/2013 10:34 - United States - Bessemer

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 540

You deserved it 15 220

By blegh - 27/12/2011 21:50 - United Kingdom

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 142

You deserved it 8 884

Oversharing

By Anonymous - 13/03/2020 12:30

Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 879

You deserved it 270

By Anonymous - 25/11/2013 19:47 - United States - Olive Branch

Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 964

You deserved it 13 842

domking1315 20

Saturday 27 September 2014 5:11

Man knows what he wants

cyanidesandwich 21

Saturday 27 September 2014 5:12

All I want for my birthday are big booty hoes...

Comments

ZombieGurl95 18

Monday 29 September 2014 3:05

I Laughed at this more than I should have. I'm sorry, but this made my day.

charltonirvine 6

Monday 29 September 2014 13:19

My hero

sthrnbell 9

Wednesday 1 October 2014 3:27

Wow..time to have a talk with ur husband and see where he got that idea

Kris1520 14

Wednesday 1 October 2014 19:29

how sad

Maskarade_fml 1

Thursday 2 October 2014 14:48

lol something ain't right in that household

FANGSINURFACE 2

Thursday 2 October 2014 15:52

Awesome kid! lol

Entovarian 4

Thursday 2 October 2014 20:17

What he meant was cash. All in ones.

Seppo_fml 2

Sunday 5 October 2014 11:57

Can you say LoL

RayvenWhite 12

Wednesday 8 October 2014 15:58

Expect to be a young grandparent.

tristanc27 7

Wednesday 8 October 2014 21:26

awe yeuh

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Love Facebook Am I overreacting? Social Media AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Relatable Students Technology Education Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward

The Top

Today, I went to get the vaccination my college requires of all students. The nurse looked at my charts and told me there was good and bad news. The good news was that I didn't need the shot. The bad news was I needed four others. Now, both of my arms are swollen enough to make Popeye proud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 491

You deserved it 3 817

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 580

You deserved it 5 576

The Top

Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 893

You deserved it 5 891

Today, I paid my best friend to not tell my girlfriend about having hooked up with another girl while drunk the other night. He told her anyway. Now I have no girlfriend and I’m $500 poorer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 3 188

Today, feeling very self-conscious about my looks, I told my mom I felt ugly and wished I could be as beautiful as her. She only said, "Yeah, I'm pretty, I wonder what happened to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 063

You deserved it 3 154

Today, while working at McDonald's, a guy asked me to deep fry his salad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 987

You deserved it 3 237

Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 634

You deserved it 8 171

Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs. I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex. Afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd also had great sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 325

You deserved it 5 233