Love: Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get...

By vikinggirl - 13/09/2010 09:14 - Australia

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 105

You deserved it 13 521

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Same thing different taste

By Alisha Marie - 04/08/2010 04:20 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 898

You deserved it 9 040

Overreaction Man

By Anonymous - 07/04/2021 23:00

Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He told me not to worry, he’d pay child support until it’s 18, and he’d be moved out of our flat by Friday. When I asked him why, he told me not to be stupid, no way was he being trapped into raising a kid. He didn’t even ask if it was a boy or girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 650

You deserved it 710

By Anonymous - 04/12/2013 22:08 - United States - Marsing

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 470

You deserved it 12 273

By Xbieblette51 - 19/08/2014 22:30 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 844

You deserved it 6 953

By fatbabysyndrome - 18/12/2012 17:33 - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 792

You deserved it 6 359

By Jessie - 22/08/2019 12:01 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I told my boyfriend of 4 years that I'm pregnant. He suggested we get a paternity test done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 888

You deserved it 332

Panic! At the Door Handle

By Anonymous - 29/10/2021 05:00

Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He immediately had a massive panic attack about how a kid is going to ruin his life and split us up, because obviously I’ll choose the baby over him. We’re now in hospital because he hyperventilated, passed out and fractured his skull on the door handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 654

You deserved it 336

No kidding

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 18:41 - United States - Portland

Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 921

You deserved it 10 865

Surpriiiiiiise…

By Anonymous - 13/05/2022 12:00

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he might want kids one day, and he most definitely does not. In fact, he even thanked me for reminding him we need to stock up on condoms when we go shopping, plus he’s even considering a vasectomy just to make sure. I’m already pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 772

By Anonymous - 27/12/2010 17:53 - Canada

Today, I am pregnant, and my boyfriend dumped me, saying that he didn't want to be stuck in anything too serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 327

You deserved it 10 043

perdix 29

Monday 13 September 2010 16:13

You are with a stupid man. The correct answer is: Falcon Punch.

spidersilkx9 0

Monday 13 September 2010 16:06

that's what my dad said he'd do to me if I ever got prego.

Comments

Crenchy 4

Wednesday 15 September 2010 16:52

hahaha that funny! you can't take him serious eh! lol

domxxily 0

Wednesday 15 September 2010 22:44

hahah thats funny but hes probably kidding

chokeabitch 0

Friday 17 September 2010 1:05

I didn't take it seriously. I'm in the same type of relationship. I haven't been suggesting you get medication, only the morons crying murder.

peachee_26 0

Friday 17 September 2010 7:30

He was probably kidding about the stairs part, but he's got every right to express his desire for you to terminate the pregnancy.

debixo 0

Friday 17 September 2010 8:32

haha it's a joke obv..

SympathyearAbs 0

Friday 17 September 2010 19:11

Comeback: No, that's what we're doing for you. Put in the deadly passive aggressive tone that insinuates that you're not only going to 'accidentally' push him down the stairs, but that you're also going to get him pregnant first.

Chocolate_Chunk 2

Tuesday 28 September 2010 11:14

that would be a horrible comeback. also, you should go to biology 101 again. In reality, there's no such thing as male preggies because reality is not like your fetish anime pornos.

SympathyearAbs 0

Tuesday 28 September 2010 18:44

I...know that...It's a joke.... You know, ha-ha? .... Okay, do you seriously....I mean...really?

Chocolate_Chunk 2

Wednesday 29 September 2010 12:52

Poe's Law also applies on FML. I've read many about as stupid things on here that were meant absolutely earnest. One example that I remember from the top of my head were multiple(!) people that thought a cat had only one claw on each paw. In short, 2 times out of 3, when you read something moronic on fml, it wasn't meant as a joke. Also, it wasn't funny anyway :P

SympathyearAbs 0

Wednesday 29 September 2010 14:54

Okay. I can agree there are idiots here. And if my non existent (hypothetical for the sake of the argument) told me he was going to push me down stairs if I was pregnant, I would want to see his ass down some stairs. Your humor may not be like mine, because I think threatening to impregnate a bf is funny. Yes, I know, I am a demented person, but hey, that's why Charlie Chaplin was popular.