Kids: Today, I asked my son to go to the grocery store across the street...

By nh-Amazon - 27/04/2014 23:01 - United States - Plano

Today, I asked my son to go to the grocery store across the street and pick up some lettuce. He sighed and said, "Why don't you just order it on Amazon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 317

You deserved it 7 313

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By super maman - 30/09/2014 03:08 - France - Montauban

Today, in a supermarket, my four-year-old son whispered to me, asking if the checkout lady was able to wash between her fat rolls. She heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 708

You deserved it 5 499

Keeping up appearances

By waterpistolriot - 23/10/2020 11:02 - Austria

Today, I ordered food for delivery. I actually made it sound as if there were other people at home so I had an excuse for ordering so much. I don't think they bought it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 855

By hungry - 15/08/2016 03:03 - United States - Waverly

Today, my husband offered to do the weekly grocery shopping. Because he has never done the shopping before, I made him a list of what we needed and other optional foods to give him an idea of what to get. He came back with a week's worth of ramen noodles and 2 litres of soda. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 020

You deserved it 2 217

Dashed

By Anonymous - 12/07/2021 00:01

Today, my Doordash driver texted me to let me know my son had picked up the food I'd ordered. I don't have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 144

You deserved it 72

Let him cook

By Max - 09/04/2014 18:32 - United States

Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and that we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 226

You deserved it 6 073

Chase me!

By Anonymous - 29/01/2023 00:30

Today, my son decided to run around a supermarket in his underwear, leaving me to chase after him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 257

You walked into that one

By BrokeasAJoke - 03/05/2022 14:00

Today, I asked my mom if I could borrow $20 since I don’t get paid until Friday. She responded with, “Why don’t you return those packages that arrived this week from your online shopping sprees?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 2 214

Motivation

By anon - 14/11/2024 20:00 - United States - Myrtle Beach

Today, I felt motivated to eat healthier, so I bought a bunch of vegetables. When I got home, I ordered some Burger King, all because I didn’t want to "waste the vegetables by cooking them wrong." Now the veggies are inevitably going bad in the fridge while I wait for my delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 639

By DaveAlmighty - 24/04/2012 23:59 - United States

Today, my son told me he needed a haircut. I was thrilled that he actually requested it, since he normally throws a fit over getting them. He described the cut he wants. It's a mullet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 253

You deserved it 3 333

By thatisfuckedup - 13/06/2013 22:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 454

You deserved it 3 884

EpicSquishii 21

Monday 28 April 2014 9:42

Hahaha you raised a real go-getter there, didn't you?

sweetest_jenn 18

Monday 28 April 2014 10:21

Make sure you use Amazon Prime, and tell him you'll call him down for dinner in 2 days.

Comments

Mauskau 35

Monday 28 April 2014 9:51

Soon you will be able to. But I suppose he doesn't understand the concept of need it now get it now.

Ceruleanst 5

Monday 28 April 2014 9:51

Because when UPS or FedEx delivers it, you'll have to go across the street and look for it anyway.

revelation11B 10

Monday 28 April 2014 9:52

Yeah, ordering lettuce online, much less regular groceries, sounds pretty disgusting.

BoltTheSuperdog 22

Monday 28 April 2014 9:52

If Amazon.com doesn't sell it, lettuce see if we can find a website that does...

ohcheriecherie 20

Monday 28 April 2014 9:55

there seem to be a lot of lettuce-related FMLs today.

superjewguy 19

Monday 28 April 2014 10:00

your son is a lazy ass, that being said, depending on where u live, walmart has store on line ordering and same day pick-up, Kmart has it to, it's called mygofer and they will actually go out to other stores and buy it if they don't have it. sometimes you'll end up getting more for less that way.