Money: Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it... - FML

By Anonymous - 03/09/2010 06:18 - United States

Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it smells like poop. I paid $20 dollars to make my face smell like shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 611

You deserved it 31 360

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Same thing different taste

By backtothelaundrettethen - 03/12/2012 11:40 - Germany

Today, I bought some expensive fabric softener since I'm not too keen on my detergent's smell. Only after washing two weeks worth of laundry did I discover that mixed together they realistically mimic the smell of fresh puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 943

You deserved it 3 867

Junk in the trunk

By NotSoClean - 21/07/2009 18:53 - United States

Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 799

You deserved it 8 660

By baconlady - 31/08/2012 07:06 - United States

Today, I bought some perfume that I thought smelled absolutely amazing. Later, my boyfriend walked in, sniffed, and said, "What smells like bacon?" The bottle cost $83. They won't take a refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 757

You deserved it 9 221

By anon - 10/06/2012 21:14 - United Kingdom - Romsey

Today, I discovered that my expensive new shampoo smells exactly like my ex-girlfriend. So now, whenever I shower, I'm showered with depression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 355

You deserved it 5 118

Shared towel

By shitface - 06/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 062

You deserved it 1 241

Complexion

By balloonface - 18/02/2016 07:48 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I finally treated myself and bought my first moisturizer. The woman at Sephora promised it would "retexturize my face." If by "retexturize" she meant, "make it feel like a rubber balloon," then she was right on the money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 816

You deserved it 2 323

Extreme reaction

By KCS - 04/03/2023 18:00 - Australia

Today, I discovered I'm allergic to the new perfume I bought and now I smell like a hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 149

By RockedSystem - 22/04/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 486

You deserved it 5 902

The smell detective is on the case

By Anonymous - 28/01/2021 14:01 - Germany

Today, something smelled absolutely disgusting in the bathroom. Like cow shit and stinky beetles. I started sniffing around, because whatever it was, I had to find it and clean it up. That, however, proved difficult, because it turned out that smell was coming from the new soap my mom had bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 504

You deserved it 190

By shitty candles - 01/12/2014 07:30 - United States - Issaquah

Today, I dug out the 5 fancy, extremely expensive candles I bought during Black Friday. I lit one up, and was delighted that it smelled so great. My mother then walked into my room and stated that it smelled "like shit". The other four were going to be a Christmas gift for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 587

You deserved it 3 709

Next

Top comments

wavesofblue 1

Friday 3 September 2010 16:30

$20 isn't expensive...

Rico255 0

Friday 3 September 2010 16:30

mabey shit is good for the skin also??? worked great on my lawn

Comments

hawtstuff92 0

Friday 3 September 2010 17:03

maybe you shoulda smelled it first? if you couldve. try to get a refund. but still, fyl. btw, any cute single guys, reply to my comment!! I'm the girl in the picture(:

IphonFML 6

Friday 3 September 2010 17:07

hey hey heyyy! $20 dollars is my life savings:(

o_trevino92 0

Friday 3 September 2010 17:07

ydi u could have asked a German toshit on ur face

beautikill 4

Friday 3 September 2010 17:08

i work in retail either claim its not workinng or claim u got some sort of reaction to it (in ur case it makes ur face stink lyk poop) abd get a refund!!

aravena 0

Friday 3 September 2010 17:08

With that $20, you could have saved 20 kids in Africa

mfmylifesrsly 29

Friday 3 September 2010 17:11

bitch I'm not a bitch! lol

polopony 0

Friday 3 September 2010 17:13

Always costs me more than $20 to get shit faced

__FML_FML_FML__ 0

Friday 3 September 2010 17:19

that's what you call expensive ? YDI for not testing it first.

MarkSeattle 0

Friday 3 September 2010 17:22

maybe you should wash your hands before smearing stuff on your face... just sayin'...

kroms001_fml 0

Friday 3 September 2010 17:23

well, now you can be a shit head! you can save it for Halloween and it can be your costume !!!!! see? not an fml after all.

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The Top

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 391

You deserved it 115 808

Today, mid-sex, my wife told me to call her a nasty slut. I was kind of uncomfortable doing it, but I did it to make her horny. She started crying, because she didn’t realise how much it would hurt her feelings. Now I’m not sure if she’s mad at me or herself, but I’m scared either way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 736

You deserved it 280

The Top

Today, I walked in on my husband's elderly parents getting it on. It’s beautiful they still love each other, I just wish they hadn’t decided to express that love on our living room sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 975

You deserved it 348

Today, via legal bollocks, I got nothing from my husband in the divorce, even though he cheated on me. On my wage, I can’t afford to live in this area anymore, so I have to move and quit my job to get another job wherever I end up moving. This is why people hate lawyers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 308

Today, I woke up approximately half a nanosecond after my dog involuntarily vomited in bed. On my face. I opened my mouth because it literally filled my nose. I swallowed out of reflex before I was fully awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 481

You deserved it 314

Today, working as a cashier, I had a customer come through and ask to purchase a bag of ice. I asked, "Eight pound or twenty pound?", referring to the clearly marked weight of the bags. He replied, "What's the difference?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 299

You deserved it 3 268

Today, I went drinking with my boyfriend and his sister in England. I'm from the US and they live here in the UK. This wouldn't be so bad if they didn't get drunk and lock me out of the house, in a foreign country at 2 a.m., where my phone doesn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 384

You deserved it 396

Today, I had to complete a simple math problem to submit a web form in order to show that I wasn't a spam robot. I got it wrong. I'm officially too bad at arithmetic to prove I'm human. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 372

You deserved it 8 328