Money: Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it...

By Anonymous - 03/09/2010 06:18 - United States

Today, I bought a new, expensive face moisturizer. However, it smells like poop. I paid $20 dollars to make my face smell like shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 611

You deserved it 31 361

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Same thing different taste

By backtothelaundrettethen - 03/12/2012 11:40 - Germany

Today, I bought some expensive fabric softener since I'm not too keen on my detergent's smell. Only after washing two weeks worth of laundry did I discover that mixed together they realistically mimic the smell of fresh puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 943

You deserved it 3 867

Junk in the trunk

By NotSoClean - 21/07/2009 18:53 - United States

Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 800

You deserved it 8 660

By baconlady - 31/08/2012 07:06 - United States

Today, I bought some perfume that I thought smelled absolutely amazing. Later, my boyfriend walked in, sniffed, and said, "What smells like bacon?" The bottle cost $83. They won't take a refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 757

You deserved it 9 221

By anon - 10/06/2012 21:14 - United Kingdom - Romsey

Today, I discovered that my expensive new shampoo smells exactly like my ex-girlfriend. So now, whenever I shower, I'm showered with depression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 355

You deserved it 5 118

Shared towel

By shitface - 06/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, after I took a shower, I was wiping my face with the towel I share with my sister. It smelled peculiar, so I took my face away and looked at it. Turns out, I was wiping my face on a huge shit stain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 062

You deserved it 1 241

Complexion

By balloonface - 18/02/2016 07:48 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I finally treated myself and bought my first moisturizer. The woman at Sephora promised it would "retexturize my face." If by "retexturize" she meant, "make it feel like a rubber balloon," then she was right on the money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 816

You deserved it 2 323

Extreme reaction

By KCS - 04/03/2023 18:00 - Australia

Today, I discovered I'm allergic to the new perfume I bought and now I smell like a hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 149

By RockedSystem - 22/04/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 489

You deserved it 5 902

The smell detective is on the case

By Anonymous - 28/01/2021 14:01 - Germany

Today, something smelled absolutely disgusting in the bathroom. Like cow shit and stinky beetles. I started sniffing around, because whatever it was, I had to find it and clean it up. That, however, proved difficult, because it turned out that smell was coming from the new soap my mom had bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 505

You deserved it 190

By shitty candles - 01/12/2014 07:30 - United States - Issaquah

Today, I dug out the 5 fancy, extremely expensive candles I bought during Black Friday. I lit one up, and was delighted that it smelled so great. My mother then walked into my room and stated that it smelled "like shit". The other four were going to be a Christmas gift for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 587

You deserved it 3 709

wavesofblue 1

Friday 3 September 2010 16:30

$20 isn't expensive...

Rico255 0

Friday 3 September 2010 16:30

mabey shit is good for the skin also??? worked great on my lawn

Comments

Tasanasanta 0

Friday 3 September 2010 16:41

Smell it before you buy it... YDI

jmac317 0

Friday 3 September 2010 16:42

welll ur gay

nikkidancer321 0

Friday 3 September 2010 16:43

oh noooooooooooo! $20. :O YDI

w2z1 0

Friday 3 September 2010 16:43

Better than real shit.

StitchedBear 0

Friday 3 September 2010 16:44

no, $20 is not expensive but it still sucks. it's disappointing, really. mm, how do you guys get your picture on heree??

Mauskau 35

Friday 3 September 2010 16:46

owned

StitchedBear 0

Friday 3 September 2010 16:46

what the hell is "anti-flood protection"?

sexy_chick_123 0

Friday 3 September 2010 17:21

It stops you from posting too many things in a row. Basically it stops spam.

kieran247 0

Friday 3 September 2010 16:47

could have been allergic to it and died :D be happy!

me_is_lala 2

Friday 3 September 2010 16:49

next time smell it?

awks 0

Friday 3 September 2010 16:49

ewww that's so nasty, you should do things the natural way, instead of putting chemicals on your face!

shepaintsmusic 6

Friday 3 September 2010 17:26

It might be natural smelling like that.

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The Top

Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 464

Today, since I've been enduring a sore throat, I got Chloraseptic lozenges to finally get a bit of relief. When I put one in my mouth, I nearly choked on it. Imagine that: trying to soothe your throat, and you almost die by accidentally obstructing it instead. The irony almost hurts even more than my throat does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 121

The Top

Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 207

You deserved it 4 187

Today, I had leg surgery. While I was recovering in the hospital, my boyfriend dumped me. I then had to ride home, a 2-hour drive, listening to my mother and aunt tell me he was the best thing to happen to me, and that I'll never find a better man. Then the morphine wore off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 712

You deserved it 2 742

Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 448

You deserved it 51 281

Today, I was told I have a tumor in my brain and require surgery. This all came about due to having a MRI for my migraines and then finding it. The kicker? They're positive the tumor isn’t playing any role in the migraines. I'm now struggling to cope and pass grad school exams with this weight in me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 86

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontaneous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 515

You deserved it 1 908

Today, I was rushing to get to work on time and grabbed what I thought was my coffee mug. It wasn't until I was in the car that I realized I had grabbed my husband's urinalysis cup. Not quite the morning boost I was expecting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 256