Health: Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed...

By assholedad - 21/06/2013 18:05 - United States - Dayton

Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 216

You deserved it 5 112

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Darth Spasticus - 14/11/2015 09:12 - United States - Flower Mound

Today, my boyfriend was diagnosed with a UTI. He thought men can only get UTIs by "catching" them from a woman, so he blamed me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 695

You deserved it 1 769

By Anonymous - 23/09/2018 17:30

Today, my dad's new medicine for his bad intestines makes him fart so hard I can feel the vibrations through the floorboards. The whole house smells like an open sewer and he thinks it's funny. He now has to change his undies several times a day from repeatedly shitting himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 032

You deserved it 194

By Anonymous - 04/12/2015 22:17 - United States

Today, even after recovering and being able to walk again, my dad keeps peeing in a bucket by his bed. He sees nothing wrong with this, even though it smells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 518

You deserved it 1 447

Apocalypse Now

By dacara6415 - 26/08/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I was diagnosed with a kidney infection; the symptoms include nausea and having to pee every five minutes. I had to walk six miles in the pouring rain to pick up the medication, peed in the woods twice, got honked at while throwing up on the road, and my boyfriend told me not to complain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 013

You deserved it 157

By Anonymous - 19/10/2009 18:09 - United States

Today, I have a UTI. After taking some sample medicine my doctor gave to me, I had a lot of back pain and nausea. I also spent 6 hours in the ER with no health insurance because I thought I was urinating blood. Nope, "peeing red" is just a little side-effect my doctor forgot to inform me of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 218

You deserved it 4 562

By hurts.to.pee - 19/01/2012 05:14 - United States

Today, I explained to my dad that I think I have a vaginal infection. I asked if he could take me to the doctor. He responded by saying, "Just shove some ice up there. It'll go away." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 210

You deserved it 3 795

Night terrors

By Anonymous - 12/07/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at night to go to the toilet. My Dad was doing his thing with the toilet door wide open. I saw, screamed at the top of my lungs and peed my pants in horror. Now my throat hurts and I'm too embarrassed to look at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 372

You deserved it 543

By Anonymous - 15/05/2015 23:55 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 747

You deserved it 2 380

By green and not with envy - 13/06/2014 20:17 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 781

You deserved it 5 802

By BathroomDweller - 20/03/2017 20:00 - United States - Omaha

Today, I'm recovering from a urinary tract infection. The infection made me have to pee constantly. Now the antibiotics I'm taking for it are giving me the shits instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 916

You deserved it 385

BrookieAnn 19

Saturday 22 June 2013 2:14

Tell him to piss off

Pleonasm 35

Saturday 22 June 2013 2:17

I dream that one day that will be me. Punning is an infectious humour; and one that is gaining tract-ion on this site.

Comments

profoundkisses 18

Saturday 22 June 2013 4:18

Those are pretty good puns HAHAHAHA

noelasis94 18

Saturday 22 June 2013 4:57

Well laughter is natures medicine they say.

buddy51 23

Saturday 22 June 2013 5:01

You'll feel better OP if you consider how much fun your dads gonna have when you have an inflamed hemorrhoid or spastic colon!!!! Explosive diarrhea will put your dad in stitches and dislocate his "air quote" fingers

cheezball63 8

Saturday 22 June 2013 5:32

And the winner of dad of the year is....

kdbernie10 3

Saturday 22 June 2013 5:37

Oh come on. He is just trying to lighten the mood. If this happened to me my dad would do the same thing and I would laugh about it. I give the guy credit for trying to lighten things up.