Miscellaneous: Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking...

By Ally - 19/05/2011 01:07 - United States

Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 117

You deserved it 4 060

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Same thing different taste

By pauper - 09/02/2012 01:20

Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 284

You deserved it 8 775

By ugh - 14/06/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 698

You deserved it 3 927

By anon - 23/03/2011 04:56

Today, I walked in on one of my housemates pissing in the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 732

You deserved it 3 934

By cj1012 - 08/07/2012 03:16 - United States

Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 409

You deserved it 1 870

By SinkyBalls - 30/08/2011 03:56 - Canada

Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 693

You deserved it 2 816

By Anonymous - 22/09/2015 05:09 - United States - Boston

Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 644

You deserved it 23 397

By Anonymous - 22/05/2009 08:36 - United States

Today, a homeless man bathed himself in the restroom at my coffee shop in West LA. He locked himself in there for a good twenty minutes. The lingering smell was so strong that my other coworker vomited. Thanks to what is apparently a relatively strong gag reflex, I got to clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 097

You deserved it 2 880

By Username - 11/08/2011 23:38 - United States

Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless guy had broken into my house and made it his home for the last 5 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 180

You deserved it 2 726

By beep_guacamole - 24/05/2009 21:49 - United States

Today, I went to the laundromat. I put a load in the dryer and walked away to check on my other load. When I came back, I saw a homeless man putting his dirty, wet underwear in the dryer with my clean clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 338

You deserved it 4 628

By MyS3lf - 19/04/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, I woke up to a strange sound that sounded like a lot of water being poured into a sink. It was actually my father in law using the bathtub as a toilet. He's staying with us, and is showing no signs of leaving any time soon. He thinks this is acceptable behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 127

You deserved it 3 331

LolaD18 1

Thursday 19 May 2011 9:11

You should go take a dump in his cardboard box, show him who's boss.

Mirorbo 26

Thursday 19 May 2011 9:10

And... what exactly is keeping you from calling the cops, darling?

Comments

klong91 7

Thursday 19 May 2011 14:51

I hope you called the cops.

WOGBRO 6

Thursday 19 May 2011 14:55

Grab his balls then will see if finders keepers apply to this situation.

ohmygaaawsh29 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 15:05

call the cops

CrystalClearly 8

Thursday 19 May 2011 15:07

He's right, isn't finders keepers a legal defense? I can't stop laughing, what an odd thing. At least he is a clean and logical intruder.

MangoGurl 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 15:07

call the cops?

chrisg2001 3

Thursday 19 May 2011 15:08

gtfo really. fyl. that's too funny

Nhk_fml 4

Thursday 19 May 2011 15:19

Call the cops then sell the house u never know what was doing before u arrived

butterbear98 3

Thursday 19 May 2011 16:17

call the cops dumbass

TheManWithAnAK47 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 16:20

kill him

zimandme123 0

Thursday 19 May 2011 16:46

lol funny hobo...:)

Keywords

DIY Cats Miscellaneous Family Management Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Coworkers Relatable Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Love Anxiety Technology Mental health Health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 318

You deserved it 9 464

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 784

You deserved it 22 712

The Top

Today, I accidentally left the pantry open. My narcissistic mother’s response was to spit on me and tell me to kill myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 142

You deserved it 79

Today, I went with my son to a conference about sexual education at his high school. I guess it was all too late, because among the attendees I saw three girls from the same high school who were already pregnant. They aren't even 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 176

Today, my girlfriend bitched that we spend too much money on food, and needed to start cooking to save money. I got home from work and started dinner. Halfway through, my girlfriend sighed and said, "This is taking too long, I'll order pizza." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 215

You deserved it 164

Today, my girlfriend called saying that she wanted to break up because she wasn't into me anymore. Yesterday, I paid $400 to take her to a Red Sox game, so I asked her why she even came with me. She said that she had been talking to her ex-boyfriend, and he said he was going to that game too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 872

You deserved it 157

Today, I got a speeding ticket while driving to my court date for a prior speeding ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 014

You deserved it 115 357

Today, I met with my realtor to close on a house for my boyfriend and me. While waiting for my boyfriend, I got a text message from him saying he was breaking up with me. I had already signed the papers on our house. Now I'm responsible for a mortgage that I can only afford with his help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 770

You deserved it 14 219

Same thing different taste

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