Intimacy: Today, I caught my dad spanking my mom with a spatula. The same... - FML

By suckstobeme - 24/03/2010 15:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I caught my dad spanking my mom with a spatula. The same spatula I use to cook my eggs every morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 321

You deserved it 4 706

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Same thing different taste

By maruskasommers - 09/01/2012 09:39 - Czech Republic

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 309

You deserved it 2 710

Cooked

By Anonymous - 08/03/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my mother cooked breakfast for everyone at my house. Then I later found one of my sex toys in the sink. I “casually” asked her what she used it for, and turns out she used it to make everyone’s scrambled eggs. She thought it was an electric egg whisk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 568

Breakfast time!

By shit flavored eggs - 09/03/2021 00:30

Today, I decided to make an almighty breakfast of fried eggs and bacon. I couldn't find anything to flip the eggs with so I used a red spatula that my sister handed me. As I was finishing a delicious fry up, my mom came downstairs and asked me why the cat litter scoop was resting in the frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 459

By Anonymous - 20/09/2010 14:58 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 332

You deserved it 4 005

Fight ****

By Anonymous - 11/07/2022 10:00

Spicy

Today, I heard my step-dad hitting my mom, and her begging him to stop, so I grabbed my cricket bat, ran in, and almost brained him. Luckily I stopped in time, because they were both naked having sex. Apparently my mom likes extreme spanking. Eww. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 519

You deserved it 299

By pasquale - 20/09/2014 06:54 - Australia - Parramatta

Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 045

You deserved it 5 631

I love that for you

By NeedHeadPhone - 30/11/2009 16:51 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I overhead my mother's request to be spanked harder by my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 004

You deserved it 2 993

By Laura - 11/03/2011 05:20 - United States

Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 567

You deserved it 4 607

By ZeroApostle4Ever - 23/02/2012 08:00 - United States

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 078

You deserved it 6 604

By Anonymous - 13/02/2016 05:14 - Canada - North Battleford

Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 263

You deserved it 1 726

Next

Top comments

coffeefiend 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 19:04

Haha. So your dad likes mom over easy?

thikimo 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 19:05

mmm yummy

Comments

Nicolestar194 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 21:15

Next time, just to freak them out, you should ask if you could borrow the spatula cuz you're gonna have a couple of friends over for a crazy night lol. ;D but that was a uh... interesting sight I'm sure.

lucidlucia 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 21:24

you do know where you came from, right?

TokioxxHotel 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 21:24

that's just effin nasty.

puppergens 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 2:09

You look like a dyke. am I right?

tomdills 0

Thursday 25 March 2010 3:52

siigh..yeah

burnquist764 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 21:33

pics or it didn't happen

MadGod 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 21:34

lawl

drinkinpints 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 21:47

Tell your parents to stop using the cooking utensils as sex toys.

drinkinpints 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 21:56

#81. how young are you that you don't know what MILF means?

winterharte 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 22:06

Pics or it didn't happen!

PhillyFox 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 22:19

Unless you don't have any soap and water, this isn't much of an FML.

jeniiladoosh 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 22:22

big freaking deal that's why we have dish soap and water. parents used kitchen utensils to spank their kids in the 20's

puppergens 0

Wednesday 24 March 2010 23:01

Child abuse FTW

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The Top

Today, my roommate drew a giant red penis and scrotum on our refrigerator, using what he thought was a dry erase marker. It was a permanent marker. I just renewed my lease. I get to look at a red penis every day for the next year and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 244

You deserved it 5 157

Today, while power washing my deck, a bee flew and landed on my leg. Thinking I'd just wash it away before it could sting me, I aimed the power washer nozzle at the bee. A bee sting isn't nearly as painful as power washing your leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 419

You deserved it 84 350

The Top

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 707

You deserved it 11 002

Today, at lunch, my seven-year-old daughter and I had a chat. I asked her if she had a sweetheart. She said, "My sex life is none of your business." FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 105

Today, I found out I have to have an operation. This will be the third in 3 years, all for completely unrelated reasons. I'm only 26 and apparently my body is already falling apart at the seams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 825

You deserved it 148

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 451

You deserved it 8 361

Today, dealing with anxiety and depression, I finally got up the energy to bake. I chose homemade enchiladas. I then spent the whole day walking from the toilet to the nearest couch (and vice versa), feeling like my intestines were going to blow. No more enchiladas for me for a long time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 211

Today, my husband said he was going to get errands. According to his job’s Instagram page which I follow, he was actually at his work Christmas formal. He never invited me. That’s not all. I also found his wedding band in the bathroom sink. Very close to the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408

You deserved it 140