By Anonymous - 15/02/2010 13:28 - United Kingdom

Spicy
Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished I jokingly said, "who's going to sleep in the wet patch?". He got up and said "you're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing". It was my first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 449
You deserved it 4 515
Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

Starfire22 5

What a jerk! Sorry OP, hopefully you'll find someone who will appreciate you for yourself not sex :(

104 0
finndizzle 0

putting your faith in god has nothing to do withthe fact that he pumped n dumped her. iIt has everything to do with that guy is an ass hole

52 3

Comments

dreambig22 0

He is an ass for doing that to you, hope you weren't saving it for "the one"! Personally I have walked on guys because their preformance wasn't up to par, never settle or pretend it is good because then it will never get better for you.

5 34
HeeeB21 0

u should of wore a rubber lol, But he's bogus for dumping you like that

12 3
alfigel 0

OK, some nitpicking: - "lol" is not proper punctuation. - it's "you", not "u". - it's "should have", not "should of", even though both are homophones (i.e. they sound the same or very similar). - "have " indicates present perfect simple, so it should have been "worn", not "wore". - I'm not even a native speaker (English is only my second language), why do I have to correct a native speaker?

6 25
xundria 5

.... snickerdoodles mother???

0 0
Novogrod 0

@39 "Ok, some nitpicking" is not a complete sentence. lol l2troll nub. Anyway, you might be better off now OP, good riddance I say.

10 3
xundria 5

@60: Even though I don't believe he should be a grammar Nazi, in his defense the way he used it is correct, because if you know something about anything, adding the colon behind the statement is a correct opening for a list.

8 2
xundria 5

Also, yes I realize my above comment is a run-on with a lot of comma splices.

1 1
vetter_fml 0

Alfigel, you don't *have* to correct anyone. You chose to be pretentious on the internet where no one cares.

10 0
nocturne73 0

Your comment was pointless. Some people do not have a full size keyboard to write everything out. Thanks for UR feedback teacher.

6 1
monkye_fml 0

who said he didn't wear a rubber? OP never said that. the wet spot could be just from her.

7 0
Little_Secrets 0

becuz native speaker don't all speak or write proper and we r ok with tht!

1 1
goarrows 0

#39 native speeker? really? if u wana bitch about grammer do it some where else

1 1
olw25 0

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
17 20
xundria 5

Get off of FML please. And the first time is boring, so what? This is why I don't date virgins. They usually are clingy. My last experience taking a girls virginity she was clingy as hell, and then after the deed was done she became a ****.

2 24
onnielief 4

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
7 21
meploLol 0

and people like this Are why i dropped catholosism for paganism.

3 15
osnapp55 0

**** some of those catholic god suckers

2 17
hcube 0

nag. god screws you over too. he just does it in other ways

0 13
Snow_Daisy 7

He let people decide whether or not to believe in Him and whether or not they wanted to be saved in the afterlife. This was His greatest gift. (:

9 3
quikwit1212 0

There is a reason why I get mad at some atheists/agnostics. Some of these comments are completely blasphemous. If you're an atheist, good for you, but I don't give a damn. Preaching your religion on the Internet is pathetic, so just stop.

7 3
waterynuggets 0

I'm just here to talk about the pretty new color I dyed my hair: bald.

2 0
meshell_10 0

Sayyyys the child molestor look alike...

1 1
dorkside_fml 0

26 that makes no sense whatsoever. if someone invents something and you say it sucks, are you saying that person sucks? no...

0 0
cookie_monster2 0

I think he was just dating her for the sex. then leave her after he's done his deed

0 0
Ecnash 0

If God were perfect, then He would be incapable of creating imperfection.

2 5
Futurefrog 0

Ugh I wish people wouldn't preach. even tho I agree with them most of the time anything about God draws the wacko hard core athiests like moths to a flame. oh and 45 ur a dumb ass

4 1
BigLostBear 0

what is this god you all speak of?

1 4
waterynuggets 0

If anything posted in this comment thread is your idea of a wacko hardcore religious/non-religious person, you've got a lot of fun to look forward to in life.

1 0
Epickitty58 29

Don't preach online. Just don't. A lot of us don't agree with anything you or any other volunteer priest from the Internet, and you usually end up sounding like an idiot. Plus your comments are magnets for hardcore atheists and anti-religious people as well as Bible-beaters. It causes more trouble than necessary.

0 0
omgitserinnn 0

that kind of thing happens when u give ur virginity to someone before marriage. sorry u had to learn that lesson the hard way.

7 18
quikwit1212 0

Don't force your beliefs on other people.

9 4
srammer99 0

123 agnostic and atheism are differnt iditot

0 0
quikwit1212 0

Did I say they were the same? I put a slash, meaning different but similar. Also, I can spell. Iditot is not an English word. You must be the smartest person in the world, if you can tell my IQ over the Internet. **** off.

1 0
boopityboppity 11

Hahaha! That misspelling was priceless. quikwit1212's reply wasn't bad at all, either. Thanks, both of y'all.

0 0
omgitserinnn 0

im not forcing my beliefs on anyone. im just saying my opinion. is that a crime or something?

2 6
Epickitty58 29

How is that a lesson? It's their choice to have sex before they get married. It's not your decision to make. And quikwit1212 is right-you are forcing your beliefs on other people. You're telling the OP that she shouldn't have slept with the guy because she didn't marry him first. Please just stop preaching behind your profile picture. Nobody likes people like that.

0 0
finndizzle 0

putting your faith in god has nothing to do withthe fact that he pumped n dumped her. iIt has everything to do with that guy is an ass hole

52 3
ColdplaySucks 18

And her lack of decisions in dating someone decent...

1 8
KurouTenshi 0

D: aww what a shitty person to give your virginness to :( on a different note, you couldve at least done your homework and picked up a Khama sutra :/

0 4
onnielief 4

That sucks, but be glad you didn't get stuck with the asshole!

6 0
wafflebot 0

this is why you handcuff them to the bed whilst having sex. ;D

10 2