Miscellaneous: Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues...

By Anonymous - 30/11/2011 03:13 - United States

Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 288

You deserved it 72 534

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Same thing different taste

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By Anonymous - 16/07/2024 05:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I lit a used tissue on fire in my room. Eventually, the fire became kinda of large (it was a big tissue) and when I blew it out, it fell on the carpet. Now I have a burn stain on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 1 064

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 05:44 - United States

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 216

You deserved it 52 394

By Anonymous - 04/05/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 785

You deserved it 76 002

By opposableouch - 27/10/2009 18:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 001

You deserved it 7 978

By Anonymous - 09/06/2010 04:41 - United States

Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 169

You deserved it 64 348

By SpontaneousAM - 15/04/2017 14:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, while moving my wax burner away from the window, I spilled hot wax all over my hands, the wall, and in my electric fireplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 102

You deserved it 1 190

By Anonymous - 06/01/2015 16:40 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 620

You deserved it 4 701

By burnt38392 - 24/12/2010 19:36 - United States

Today, as a means of getting over my abusive ex, I decided to write his name on a piece of paper and light it on fire. As I lit the paper up, I noticed the marker ink had bled through it. The paper is gone, but his name is forever engraved on my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 513

You deserved it 19 563

By shiiiiit - 15/11/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, I was having trouble blowing out the last of the several candles on my bedside table. Exasperated, I blew as hard as I could, which sent hot wax from the other candles shooting into the air, all over my face and into my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 172

You deserved it 12 532

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 607

You deserved it 15 134

boycrazy30007 12

Wednesday 30 November 2011 8:31

I get being a pyro, but there is no excuse for being an idiot

ILoveEggnog 7

Wednesday 30 November 2011 8:29

I really hate to say this, but you definitely deserved it.

Comments

disney_blonde 16

Wednesday 30 November 2011 21:07

Next time, pour gasoline over yourself first. I hear the results are quite spectacular!

MoNnEy_MiiTE 3

Wednesday 30 November 2011 21:28

God learned this the hard way with people!! Naaa jk im not that racist

SengBoi 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 21:35

Sounds like someone will never be the firelord.

fail8 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 21:41

just get a sharpie and colour the burn mark

Hypercrush80s 3

Wednesday 30 November 2011 21:43

What a Darwin event you dumbass. what did you think would happen when you mix fire plus paper?

jackeechan 10

Wednesday 30 November 2011 22:06

You need to think more

jackeechan 10

Wednesday 30 November 2011 22:06

You need to think more

HunterAlpha1 8

Wednesday 30 November 2011 22:26

at least your neighborhood doesn't have a big pile of ashes.

komatights 5

Wednesday 30 November 2011 22:42

mphhh! hummhhfpfff mphphphhh? ... ...So you're not a fellow Pyro? D:

thatmirandachick 7

Wednesday 30 November 2011 23:01

What? Lol, you totally deserved that.

Keywords

Work Christmas You're fired AITA Love Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Miscellaneous Mental health Health Relatable Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Intimacy Sex Lonely Holidays Bosses Capitalism Cars Covid

The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 510

You deserved it 15 067

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 670

You deserved it 39 754

The Top

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 206

You deserved it 200 049

Today, my car is so unreliable that I received a letter saying that it had been kicked out of the American Automobile Association. FML

I agree, your life sucks 588

You deserved it 151

Today, and since I got frustrated at my wife as she was harping on at me, yet again, a few months ago, and I told her to shut the fuck up for the first time ever in our 25 year marriage, I’ve been sleeping on the sofa. I’m thinking of changing my address to Sofa, Fireplace Road, Living Room Town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 1 051

Today, while waiting tables, I watched a woman pull the bacon off her roast beef melt and eat it. She then called me over and spent several minutes complaining about the our chefs' inadequacy because they didn't put bacon on her sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 846

You deserved it 1 900

Today, I've paid over £15k a year to have 1.5 years of my 3 year BSc online. All we can do is sit in a tiny room (genuinely worse than Nordic prisons) and watch "online lectures", i.e. paying enormous amounts of money for depression, boredom, loneliness, and information that can be gathered from Youtube or Wikipedia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 942

You deserved it 171

Today, I had a customer tell me how much she regretted not aborting her expected child, how much she hates the father, and described to me in immense detail what it is like to pee while pregnant. All within the 30 seconds it took me to serve her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 978

You deserved it 3 307

Same thing different taste

What? Why?

Close but no cigar

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