Miscellaneous: Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues...

By Anonymous - 30/11/2011 03:13 - United States

Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 288

You deserved it 72 534

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

What? Why?

By Anonymous - 16/07/2024 05:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I lit a used tissue on fire in my room. Eventually, the fire became kinda of large (it was a big tissue) and when I blew it out, it fell on the carpet. Now I have a burn stain on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 1 064

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 05:44 - United States

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 216

You deserved it 52 394

By Anonymous - 04/05/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 785

You deserved it 76 002

By opposableouch - 27/10/2009 18:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 001

You deserved it 7 978

By Anonymous - 09/06/2010 04:41 - United States

Today, I wanted to impress my girlfriend with a cool fire breathing trick I learned online, and ended up burning half her room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 169

You deserved it 64 348

By SpontaneousAM - 15/04/2017 14:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, while moving my wax burner away from the window, I spilled hot wax all over my hands, the wall, and in my electric fireplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 102

You deserved it 1 190

By Anonymous - 06/01/2015 16:40 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 620

You deserved it 4 701

By burnt38392 - 24/12/2010 19:36 - United States

Today, as a means of getting over my abusive ex, I decided to write his name on a piece of paper and light it on fire. As I lit the paper up, I noticed the marker ink had bled through it. The paper is gone, but his name is forever engraved on my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 513

You deserved it 19 563

By shiiiiit - 15/11/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, I was having trouble blowing out the last of the several candles on my bedside table. Exasperated, I blew as hard as I could, which sent hot wax from the other candles shooting into the air, all over my face and into my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 172

You deserved it 12 532

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 607

You deserved it 15 134

boycrazy30007 12

Wednesday 30 November 2011 8:31

I get being a pyro, but there is no excuse for being an idiot

ILoveEggnog 7

Wednesday 30 November 2011 8:29

I really hate to say this, but you definitely deserved it.

Comments

tj4234 35

Wednesday 30 November 2011 12:37

who are you? Captain caveman?

whosurdaddy123 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 12:39

BARGAIN!!!!!

mrsmall 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 12:42

You can't fix stupid... Or inbreeding...

IdfkMyUsernamexC 5

Wednesday 30 November 2011 12:47

YDI. 'Nough said.

Driveshaft 5

Wednesday 30 November 2011 13:00

So...you're just like that idiot moth, buzzing around my kitchen? Except you can't fly. So you're basically an idiot. YDI

katt_is_here 24

Wednesday 30 November 2011 21:31

Okay, that made me laugh.

rogerusmc23 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 13:14

You my friend, are an idiot.

red1355 6

Wednesday 30 November 2011 13:30

If you like fire that much. Stick you hand in a flame! Dumbass!! FYL!

chels1994 11

Wednesday 30 November 2011 13:40

Wannabe pyro

aaron21a 0

Thursday 22 March 2012 6:45

Your pretty :)

highfashonlife 1

Wednesday 30 November 2011 14:20

Your an idiot!

RyNo24 4

Wednesday 30 November 2011 14:59

Wow, yes paper does burn fast and incase you didn't know the sky is also blue... Wow...

Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Intimacy AITA Sex Holidays Lonely Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism You're fired Cars Covid Health Cheating

The Top

Today, I spent hours cooking an amazing dinner for my family, who had just gotten home from a trip, so we could spend some time together because I'd started to miss everyone. When they got home, they saw it all laid out and just took plates to their room, without even telling me they were home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 273

You deserved it 2 515

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 636

You deserved it 42 714

The Top

Today, while lying in bed, I was so lonely that I put a heavy blanket in front of me so it felt like I was spooning someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 644

You deserved it 246

Today, after years of pretty much no sex from my long term partner, I admitted I was having dreams about sex with other people, hoping to get a reaction from him. However, he didn't react at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 749

You deserved it 478

Today, I was heading out for lunch, and a co-worker asked me if I would pick up their pizza. I said yes, because, why not? Just as I arrived, they texted to inform me that the pizza was under the name "Anita Luong Duong". FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 287

You deserved it 771

Today, despite years of therapy, I still can’t seem to shake the religious indoctrination I suffered through for 20 years. I’m a morally good person who is kind, caring, and upstanding, yet I still have horrific anxiety and depression thinking that I’m going to hell for leaving religion. Nothing helps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 246

Today, I went to an amusement park with my family. I was the only one who put on sunblock, and the only one who got a sunburn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 692

You deserved it 3 948

Today, I've been seeing this girl for three months. After asking her if she'd like to go out to eat with me, I realized that she never called me by my name, just "hey you". While we were out, I wondered what she had me saved as, so I texted her when she got up to use the restroom. It was "free food". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 015

You deserved it 476

Same thing different taste

What? Why?

Close but no cigar

Top comments

Comments