Miscellaneous: Today, I decided to make a place in my house for my friends to...

By rbates - 25/07/2009 18:32 - United States

Today, I decided to make a place in my house for my friends to sign called “The Friend Wall." By sign I meant sign, not draw body parts. This afternoon I ate lunch next to a basketball-sized vagina and a monumentally large blue and purple penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 790

You deserved it 60 433

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Same thing different taste

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 06:24 - France

Today, I signed my own plaster-cast to make people believe that I actually have friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 866

You deserved it 7 700

Together forever

By Will - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my roommate drew a giant red penis and scrotum on our refrigerator, using what he thought was a dry erase marker. It was a permanent marker. I just renewed my lease. I get to look at a red penis every day for the next year and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 262

You deserved it 5 164

Subconscious

By doodler - 27/02/2014 11:59 - United States - Hurst

Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 098

You deserved it 13 509

By Hoggiebear - 05/10/2011 16:08 - United States

Today, my friends learned that if you play "connect the dots" with the pimples on my back the resulting picture is a large penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 392

You deserved it 5 369

By stopinthenameoflove - 19/06/2014 14:37 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 092

You deserved it 15 455

By WayTooMuchFacebook - 04/02/2012 05:07 - United States

Today, I read some funny scribblings on a wall in the bathroom stall. My first instinct was to "Like" it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 131

You deserved it 33 529

By Anonymous - 15/11/2009 23:26 - United States

Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 851

You deserved it 37 756

By fucker43 - 02/06/2013 06:11 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my friend made an effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 794

You deserved it 4 731

By WasteOfTime - 01/11/2009 14:36 - United Kingdom

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 360

You deserved it 3 449

By FlyingFist - 04/12/2012 00:38 - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 140

You deserved it 3 453

aback 4

Saturday 25 July 2009 22:33

Genitals are your friends. I don't see the problem, here.

sydneyinspiratio 0

Saturday 25 July 2009 22:32

Yikes. Nice friends.

Comments

jonnymohio 2

Sunday 26 July 2009 1:08

YDI - for the friend wall idea. What are you, in grade school?

Kooliokid5 0

Sunday 26 July 2009 1:20

Sorry but I feel like you deserved it. If you make a wall for friends then you should know they'll screw with you.

allocomrade 0

Sunday 26 July 2009 1:27

ydi 4 being an unintuitive idiot. how did u not see this coming

YungMarlon23 0

Sunday 26 July 2009 1:39

AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh man!!!!! for yu... FAIL!!!... for yur "friends"... Dey won... dey realy did... Aahahahahaha!!!

Jaxro 6

Sunday 26 July 2009 1:39

My friends would to the exact same thing. However, I would to the same if one of my friends made a friend wall.

kaelendra 0

Sunday 26 July 2009 1:46

Wow, immature friends.

dummydory 4

Sunday 26 July 2009 1:48

ur stupid

alphaxzero 0

Sunday 26 July 2009 2:01

get new friends

bahahaha 0

Sunday 26 July 2009 2:14

paint over it asshole.

jaxsk 0

Sunday 26 July 2009 2:20

You didn't watch them while they were doing it? Or tell them a size to keep their signatures? Sounds like you really could have prevented that one.

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Today, I let my 4-month old puppy sleep with me. She’s been constipated for a while. I woke up to a foul odor in the middle of the night. Turns out she took a massive dump on the bed right by my head. I had to completely strip my bed to go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 473

Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 874

You deserved it 3 148

The Top

Today, it took a whole year to convince my girlfriend to sleep in the same bed as me, because she was afraid she’d fart. Every time, I assured her she was just being paranoid. Turns out, she farts more than anyone I’ve ever slept with. Combined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 179

You deserved it 510

Today, I caught my wife with my brother. I demanded a divorce and, out of desperation, she claimed she thought it was me because we’re twins. We might be twins, but we’re dissimilar enough it’s obvious which is fucking which, plus he has both hands, whereas I left one of mine behind in fucking Iraq. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 575

You deserved it 126

Today, I went to the grocery store. My checker was very hot. When it came time for me to pay, I swiped my debit card and the machine kept rejecting it. Sure that I had money in my account, I did it again, before the cute checker informed me that I was swiping my driver's license, not my debit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 350

You deserved it 52 296

Today, I caught my husband talking to a girl on Instagram. He denied there being more than just “friendship” and gave me an ultimatum: to stop “policing” him or he throws me and our newborn out into the streets. He knows that I have no family or nowhere else to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 146

Today, I woke up in a panic to what sounded like a plane about to crash into my house. I was so scared, I peed myself and passed out. It was just my cell phone vibrating under my pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 525

You deserved it 48 400

Today, in a particularly crowded section of the mall, I felt someone touch my back, several times. My self-defense kicked in, I screamed to attract attention, whipped around and threw a punch. No one was there; It was my ponytail touching my back. People were staring me like I was insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 1 381

Same thing different taste

Together forever

Subconscious

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