Health: Today, I decided to put on my Halloween make-up to be sure that...

By Anonymous - 27/10/2010 18:57 - United States

Today, I decided to put on my Halloween make-up to be sure that I could and that it would look nice. I was satisfied with my results, and went to wash it off. Everything came off fine, except for the eye liner and eye shadow. It's bright purple. I'm a man. Halloween isn't until Sunday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 944

You deserved it 31 235

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Same thing different taste

By anaph0re - 01/02/2009 15:52 - France

Today, it was good fun getting this nice vampire make-up at my drama lesson. It would have been better if I hadn't forgotten my demake-up. Even better if I could have avoided those crazy glances in the bus home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 707

You deserved it 21 530

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 536

You deserved it 5 374

Living for the weekend

By ouch - 11/12/2009 07:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I was preparing for a huge party I've been looking forward to for months. I did all the usual things a girl should do, put on a facemask, painted my nails, exfoliated… I was feeling confident until I peeled off the facemask. I guess when it said "vibrant" what it meant was bright red. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 235

You deserved it 8 501

By Iwtumn - 17/03/2015 16:52 - Austria

Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 669

You deserved it 17 299

By mindy12182 - 29/12/2018 17:00 - United States - Des Moines

Today, while doing my disabled client's makeup I got my period. I'm hoping that she didn't notice a red stain on her white bedspread when I stood up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 394

You deserved it 624

By Bunni - 22/10/2009 22:22 - Australia

Today, I was tinting my own eyelashes when I missed my eyelashes and stabbed myself in the eye with the applicator loaded with dye. Now, I have beautiful lush black eyelashes, to match my half closed swollen red left eye. Sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 836

You deserved it 30 103

The best costume design award goes to…

By Anonymous - 27/10/2023 06:00

Today, my son is so rabid for Halloween this year that he decided to dress up early and do his own Incredible Hulk makeup. He used a green permanent marker he stole from school. It’s all over him from head to foot, and my carpet, sofa, bathtub, and even the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 81

By Anonymous - 01/11/2012 11:17 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, multiple people admired my elaborate face paint. This happens every Halloween, at least every Halloween since I got badly burnt in a car accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 096

You deserved it 2 100

By Snow - 07/02/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 771

You deserved it 35 103

Absentmindedly

By Anonymous - 06/09/2022 19:00

Today, I saw some reddish-colored stuff on my finger after wiping my face. I thought it was blood at first, so I smelled it, then licked it, I don't know why the fuck I did that but anyways, I later realized I'd wiped off some of my eyeshadow and frickin ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 1 230

stealthkitten 3

Thursday 28 October 2010 0:14

haha, that's funny. you better rock that purple eyeliner now ;)

Mielad 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 0:17

Make an excuse.. Say someone hit you and your eye is bleeding purple pus and you will die from a horrible disease if you suffer from bullying

Comments

annadorkable 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 7:03

no shit halloween is not until sunday

brennboo 3

Thursday 28 October 2010 7:17

but alas, the world does not work that way :(

ilovecanada_fml 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 7:18

awesome :D

gunman15 4

Thursday 28 October 2010 7:21

and that is why men do not wear make-up

MissySara 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 7:40

Use makeup remover, not just water...

EightInchNails 9

Thursday 28 October 2010 7:51

Connect with the Matrix you fools! He just needs to be...jacked in...

MellyMellz 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 7:58

YDI for putting on makeup without having makeup remover.

shellbell2693 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 8:24

haha use lotion. comes off in a breeze ((:

whowants2know 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 8:31

awesome

xBIG_Dx 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 9:09

u know u left it there on purpose...queer

Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Haircut Cute Holidays Lonely Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism You're fired Cars Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, I was at the gym on the elliptical. Feeling proud of myself for finishing a very intense workout, I looked to my left to see that the maintenance guy fixing the machine next to me had burned more calories testing the machine than I did during my entire workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 580

You deserved it 5 576

Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 551

You deserved it 49 635

The Top

Today, I learned that I'm the only person in my family that our new cat likes. She sleeps on my bed and always sits in my lap and despises everyone else. I'm allergic to cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 704

You deserved it 4 512

Today, someone said that women shouldn’t hate their menstrual cycles, because the hormonal changes were so "interesting". Sure, that’s the word I’d use for alternating between cramps and zits, being an insatiable nymphomaniac, and being so depressed I want to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 664

You deserved it 182

Today, I realized that I might be falling for a girl. She's fucking beautiful. She can't love me, I'm not good enough for her, and she's in love with someone else. Besides, I have a girlfriend but it never seems like we're close and I don't even know if I had a crush on her before, but I still love her as a friend and can't break her heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 750

Today, my boss sent me to remove a tree from a client's home. So I went and cut down the tree, only for my boss to show up an hour later, speechless. I was supposed to remove a sapling that had sprouted through the driveway tarmac, not the 100-year-old prizewinning Japanese cherry tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 366

You deserved it 3 474

Today, it’s been 2 years since my highschool ex dumped me after I went to college. Since then, I fell into depression, dropped out, and am now trying to get back on my feet working at Wendy’s. Meanwhile, she’s been having the time of her life, hanging out with bands, and got rich from TikTok. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 816

Today, I was choking on a popcorn kernel at the movie theater. Nobody helped me. The workers in there told me to leave because I was "disrupting the audience". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 452

You deserved it 2 769

Same thing different taste

Living for the weekend

The best costume design award goes to…

Absentmindedly

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