Transportation: Today, I decided to splurge and get valet parking at a fancy...

By seriously - 17/12/2014 13:33 - United States - Oak Lawn

Today, I decided to splurge and get valet parking at a fancy restaurant. I got out of the car and gave the man my keys and watched as he slowly backed my car into another car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 602

You deserved it 3 592

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By hatty - 23/09/2011 13:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I had my car valeted at my hotel. The manager came out, took my keys, and said the car would be waiting for me in an hour. I was then forced to watch from the lobby as the "manager" sped off downtown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 896

You deserved it 6 169

Fighting talk

By Anonymous - 23/04/2022 18:00

Today, I went out with my girlfriend to a restaurant. After parking up next to a badly parked Audi, I commented, “Typical shit parking by an Audi driver.” Unbeknownst to me, the owner was walking to his car at the exact same moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 883

Spotted

By papergirl - 24/04/2009 15:47 - United States

Today, I went to a fancy restaurant. I was coming right from work and brought a change of clothes with me. I parked in an empty corner of the parking lot to change. As I was pulling my pants up, I noticed that I was facing an apartment complex where an old guy was watching me from his balcony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 278

You deserved it 19 622

The road to hell…

By carlyalexia - 28/08/2020 20:01

Today, I was trying to do a nice thing and let my friend's mom borrow my car. I went to move my mom's car that was parked behind me so that I could get my car out, and then proceeded to back into my dad's new company car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 626

By Datingdisaster - 17/08/2018 01:30

Today, I went on a date. We met in the parking lot of a restaurant. As I approached his car he took one look at me, said "Nope", and drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 682

You deserved it 291

By parkingisawesome - 06/05/2011 00:35 - United States

Today, leaving the restaurant I work in, the car next to mine was very crookedly parked. I had a hard time backing out. It turned out the whole restaurant was watching me, and they all started to clap as I drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 058

You deserved it 5 833

By whoneedsdumbcars - 14/08/2009 08:29 - United States

Today, at a restaurant, I noticed a really hot girl leaving with her friend. A few minutes later they came back, laughing uncontrollably, and announced that some moron forgot to put on their parking brake and the car was rolling into the full parking lot. It was my car. They watched me chase it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 392

You deserved it 39 736

Not my best work

By Anonymous - 08/05/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I thought I'd finally mastered the art of parallel parking. Feeling proud of myself, I got out of the car to admire my handiwork, only to realise I'd parked halfway onto the sidewalk and completely blocked the entrance to a cafe. I had to sheepishly move my car while enduring the glares of annoyed pedestrians. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 414

By Anonymous - 15/04/2009 18:19 - United States

Today, I backed my car into a parked car in a parking lot. Not only did I back into a parked car, but it was the ONLY parked car there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 223

You deserved it 72 637

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 07:25 - Canada

Today, I locked my keys in the car while the car was running because I got out to get the parking ticket attached to my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 419

You deserved it 26 404

jmigs17 19

Wednesday 17 December 2014 18:44

I never valet. Walking is better for you anyway

PrincessCastiel 27

Wednesday 17 December 2014 18:45

He better be paying for the damage I'm so sorry OP!

Comments

AninOnin 24

Wednesday 17 December 2014 23:39

Oh hey, I moderated this. Except the ending went something like "my car is undrivable". Congrats getting posted!

russfml 31

Thursday 18 December 2014 0:13

You had one job

xluciferx666 21

Thursday 18 December 2014 1:24

Lawsuit time

teentee401 36

Thursday 18 December 2014 3:29

Wow, what a dumbass valet, 39.

ALegitOreo 11

Thursday 18 December 2014 4:24

*Valet puts on shades "Deal with it"

joyboy390 12

Thursday 18 December 2014 4:27

Thats exactly why i will never valet my car. If someone is gonna mess up my car its gonna be me. YDI walking keeps you healthy

mike762414 6

Thursday 18 December 2014 5:14

I had a valet total my car in their parking garage, didn't know how to drive a manual. Don't let them screw you over.

Shmatterhorn 38

Thursday 18 December 2014 5:59

Well, I can't call that a "smashing" success.

Brandi_Faith 33

Thursday 18 December 2014 7:44

That's crazy. Totally sounds like something out of a movie or tv show.

kirbs19 37

Thursday 18 December 2014 9:08

That's life telling you not to pretend to be something your not...

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Love Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I went to get the vaccination my college requires of all students. The nurse looked at my charts and told me there was good and bad news. The good news was that I didn't need the shot. The bad news was I needed four others. Now, both of my arms are swollen enough to make Popeye proud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 491

You deserved it 3 817

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 886

You deserved it 61 114

The Top

Today, at the age of 21, I need digestive enzymes. Apparently most people start needing them in their sixties, but my parents and even my grandparents don’t need them. Without them, the food just sits in my stomach for days before eventually coming back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 93

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 780

You deserved it 6 991

Today, I was chilling in my comfy zip-up sweatshirt when I realized I was running late for an acting class. In my mad panic, I forgot I didn't have a shirt or bra underneath. Later in class, I was performing a scene and started to unzip my sweatshirt. You can figure out the rest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 467

You deserved it 5 615

Today, my mom informed me that my entire family puts their dirty towels on the towel rack in the bathroom instead of the hamper. I've been using their dirty towels after showers for as long as I remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 141

You deserved it 6 519

Today, the highlight of my whole month was finally being able to take a solid crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 458

You deserved it 1 778

Today, my boyfriend woke up to the flash of a camera. It was his mother taking pictures of my shoe print on his window sill and night stand. She said she was collecting evidence proving I snuck in through his window last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 793

You deserved it 9 768