Animals: Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming...

By violated ._. - 22/08/2013 22:45 - United States

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 319

You deserved it 15 399

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 11:49 - Malaysia

Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a 5 minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 815

You deserved it 7 558

By thedogkisser - 06/06/2009 19:44 - United States

Today, when petting my friend's dog, I acted like I was going to make out with him. While I wasn't looking the dog stuck his entire tongue in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 091

You deserved it 84 200

By wayne - 07/12/2011 10:28 - New Zealand

Today, I overcame my fear of swimming in lakes and went for a swim. I got bitten by an eel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 714

You deserved it 3 555

By Optimus_Prime97 - 03/05/2012 02:39 - United States

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 937

You deserved it 31 810

By poolfail - 06/08/2014 21:14

Today, at the pool, I decided to face my fears and go off the high dive. I slipped off the edge and did a barrel roll into the pool while screaming like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 100

You deserved it 6 551

Freakout

By Brie - 29/05/2011 18:22 - United States

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 001

You deserved it 11 773

By loser. - 20/03/2010 06:23 - Canada

Today, I dove into the water perfectly, and my bikini bottoms came off. I splashed around nervously. This guy must have thought I was drowning, and dove in to save me. He emerged from the water carrying a half naked girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 617

You deserved it 5 506

Sick moves, bro

By Fish - 19/03/2009 15:47 - United Arab Emirates

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 302

You deserved it 55 376

By wrongman - 14/02/2018 19:00

Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 610

You deserved it 7 735

By The_HML - 24/03/2009 02:48 - United States

Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung in the balls by a Jelly fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 988

You deserved it 11 163

yankeesfancg 13

Friday 23 August 2013 3:01

On the first date

kpc2424 13

Friday 23 August 2013 3:01

They say dolphins are the most intelligent mammals...

Comments

olpally 32

Friday 23 August 2013 3:09

Dolphins are that friendly? Lol damn. Did it at least catch you a fish after it raped your mouth? Haha.

wowthatissad 9

Friday 23 August 2013 3:13

You French kissed a dolphin. Hahaha I can't even imagine how gross that would be to have a fish gut covered tongue in your mouth

PenguinBitch 43

Friday 23 August 2013 3:15

"Just a little kiss will do....garghggfhgfg."

wowthatissad 9

Friday 23 August 2013 3:52

Your bio made me laugh.

mFUNdo21 17

Sunday 25 August 2013 16:53

your pic made the comment 10x funnier

browniey 11

Friday 23 August 2013 3:16

Eww but i guess you could consider dolphin showing her affection for you:/?

vanessa09865 23

Friday 23 August 2013 3:16

A whole new type of experimenting; lady-on-lady dolphin

cuterussian1 9

Friday 23 August 2013 3:20

well that was......sensual. even dolphins listen to Katy Perry and heard "i kiss a girl" before you came along :-)

jdogburrier 8

Friday 23 August 2013 3:22

The whale might be part french

Ins0mau 20

Friday 23 August 2013 3:31

SCORE!!

Powerfull_fml 8

Friday 23 August 2013 3:34

I've seen enough animated videos on the internet to know where this is going...

RoboCunnilingus 23

Friday 23 August 2013 3:34

Dolphin rape is a REAL and SERIOUS issue. Just be glad the deviant didn't take it any further.

Keywords

Food Toxic Family Miscellaneous Gross Love Health Valentine's Day Homeowners Home improvement Kids Awkward Drugs Babysitter Music Lonely Crush Wanker Intimacy Relatable Animals Cats Work Coworkers Transportation Airplanes Embarrassing Sleep Mental health Cute

The Top

Today, I was laying in the grass, staring into the blue sky and watching planes go by. My boyfriend snuggles down next to me; it was a sweet moment. He then told me all about how the planes above are leaving "chem trails", and that he believes the CIA is out to mind-control us all. Right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 330

You deserved it 5 853

Today, I decided to snack on some M&M's. I saw my dog sniffing something and realized one of my M&M's had fallen on the floor. To prevent my dog from eating the chocolate, I hurriedly snatched the M&M off the ground and ate it. When I bit down, I realized it wasn't an M&M. It was a dead beetle. FML

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You deserved it 60 091

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 33 856

You deserved it 5 446

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I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 84

Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 608

You deserved it 860

Today, I walked downstairs, made a bowl of hot cereal, and held a full conversation with my brother's girlfriend, before I finally put two and two together and realized I hadn't put any pants on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 839

You deserved it 29 537

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We were starting to get intimate, and I thought it would be kinky to tie his hands to his bed so he'd be more turned on. Suddenly his mom called us for dinner, but I couldn't untie him fast enough. I had to sit there, embarrassed, while his mom undid the rope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 121

You deserved it 29 836

Today, my laptop is choosing not to work and I can’t afford a new one. If it doesn’t work soon, I can’t get my homework done. I’m only week 3 into an 8 week semester. To top it off, I need to finish unpacking. Did I forget to mention I moved about 3 days before the semester started? FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 217

Same thing different taste

Freakout

Sick moves, bro

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