Kids: Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I... - FML

By embarrassed - 11/11/2011 15:17 - Canada

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 609

You deserved it 124 261

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/01/2010 21:41 - United States

Today, I did a "dine and dash" and left my phone in the restaurant. The owner answered my phone call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 117

You deserved it 82 648

By dine and DASH our friendship - 02/05/2017 00:11

Today, I served my good friend and his girlfriend at the restaurant where I work. They did a "dine and dash". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 402

You deserved it 413

Brilliant

By BrokeAsFuck - 18/10/2012 23:52 - United States

Today, my mom and I went out to a fancy and expensive restaurant per her request; she told me it was her treat. After we ate our meals and the large check came, she excused herself to the bathroom. She didn't come back. I was dine-and-dashed by my own mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 630

You deserved it 2 039

By ashleyevans - 04/04/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 002

You deserved it 192 014

Family! Woohoo!

By Abandoned - 15/02/2010 07:28 - United States

Today, our family went out to a restaurant at night. My cousin and I needed to go to the restroom, so we told everyone before going. Less than three minutes later, we came out to find them gone, along with the cars. They forgot about their own kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 894

You deserved it 2 457

By RoseRodent - 03/06/2016 17:58 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I dropped my daughter off at a concert where she was performing and went to look for parking. I got caught in freak traffic and it took me an hour to get back there. I missed her act. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 747

You deserved it 1 536

By WaitedOut - 03/10/2012 08:07 - United States - Saukville

Today, at work, I got to wait on one of those tables where everyone had very complex orders, and some of them sent their food back. When the time finally came for me to bring them their check and receive my well-earned tip, I returned only to discover that they'd dined and dashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 358

You deserved it 2 138

Hair-raising

By what the fuck????? - 17/02/2022 16:01 - United States - Denver

Today, while at a restaurant, I watched in horror as my daughter picked a hair out of her food and continued eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 266

By BrokeAsAJoke - 29/03/2009 13:38 - United States

Today, I got a chance to have dinner and a movie with a girl I've liked for a while. I ran late, so in a hurry to make the movie, and trying to be smooth for her, I told the waiter I'd "take care of him" if he made it fast. He did. When he brought the check, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 299

You deserved it 64 278

By Anonymous - 24/06/2014 02:26 - United States - San Luis Rey

Today, while visiting family, we went to a restaurant to eat. Towards the end of the meal, I went to use the restroom. When I came back, everyone was gone. Everyone had actually gotten into their cars and left without me. I have no idea where I am and no one is answering their phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 767

You deserved it 4 769

Next

Top comments

cradle6 13

Friday 11 November 2011 18:59

Maybe they took her as payment. She'd probably be better off than with you.

hatersgunnahat 0

Friday 11 November 2011 18:59

My mom did this to me when I was 10...

Comments

JuiceyyJae 13

Friday 11 November 2011 19:12

Best mother/father of the year award goes to......

awagh666 14

Friday 11 November 2011 22:42

mother/father = parent ...Just saying

ebwaef 0

Saturday 2 June 2012 4:43

Lol I was about to point that out...

lovefml987 1

Friday 11 November 2011 19:12

What the hell is wrong with you !!!! You should grow up and be a good parent Unless you want your child, to be in jail by the time she's 16

KiddNYC1O 20

Friday 11 November 2011 22:05

Wow, I've never been so attracted to Mozilla Firefox...

kalixzo 11

Friday 11 November 2011 19:14

This sounds like the perfect comedy movie.

Thisismypchere 8

Friday 11 November 2011 19:14

**** you.

charmedheksie 0

Friday 11 November 2011 19:14

Wow, you are a Grade A Douche, the waitress has to pay for your scuminess everytime. Plus you are a terrible parent. I hope they called the police on your ass.

Andr913 13

Friday 11 November 2011 19:17

Why do you and 3 have the same profile pic?

cntryiscntrywide 0

Friday 11 November 2011 19:18

it's one thing to do something illegal, but with yur kid? dude, if yu got caught thats a call to CPS. dumbass.

DocBastard 38

Friday 11 November 2011 19:18

Thank you kind sir/madam for posting your story. Thank you for clearly illustrating what a shitbag is. Thank you for nearly eliminating any residual hope I had in humankind. I hate every single thing about you.

Mr_Alarm 12

Friday 11 November 2011 19:32

Sounds like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning :P

HatefulPilot 0

Friday 11 November 2011 19:39

Doc, I'm curious.. That X-ray, is it a female or a male?

captainbj2 0

Friday 11 November 2011 20:01

Not really....scumbags like this make almost everyone mad.

DocBastard 38

Friday 11 November 2011 22:52

Mr Alarm, this is my usual demeanor. You should see me when I'm angry. My profile pic is a man.

j_cat187 19

Saturday 12 November 2011 1:03

That must have taken A LOT of lube... damn people are ****** up

lizard399 0

Friday 11 November 2011 19:21

"haha suckers, I'm awesome cause I got away with it" *begins to unlock car* "shit!" I wonder what your kid thought while they were alone and you were being immature. Grow a pair and pay for your dinner.

Kiki242 19

Friday 11 November 2011 19:21

Nice going. Casey Anthony would be proud.

cntryiscntrywide 0

Friday 11 November 2011 19:25

he forgot his daughter, he didn't kill her..

thatonename 7

Friday 11 November 2011 19:26

To soon man, just way to soon...

tc34 1

Friday 11 November 2011 19:54

Hahahahahahahahahaha

jsteury 0

Friday 11 November 2011 20:44

I thought it was fumny

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Keywords

Love Shopping My ex Holidays Family Vacation Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents AITA Miscellaneous Harassment Relatable Engagement Health Ironic Food Work Money Awkward Technology Embarrassing Singing Kids Party Sex Cute Revenge Mental health Covid

The Top

Today, my brother showed my wife a Craigslist ad by someone seeking casual sex. It had very specific details that made it seem like I wrote it. My brother later admitted in private that he made the post as revenge for me not loaning him $500 last month. Meanwhile, my wife still thinks I'm unfaithful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 644

You deserved it 1 158

Today, my girlfriend, who recently started French classes, and I were having sex. Knowing how whispering in my ear turns me on, she whispered something in French, and I came. Later I found out it meant something like, "You should lose a lot of weight." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 608

You deserved it 9 063

The Top

Today, I got an unexpected freebie for breakfast: I took my coffee and a plate of food up to my room. By the time I got there, some fairy had topped the food with a generous serving of animal hair. Gee, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 200

Today, as a part of my job, I took a couple around to look at houses that are on sale. After driving them around and looking at tons of houses, the wife said, "Okay. I think we have enough decorating ideas." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 068

You deserved it 2 920

Today, my 3 year-old saw the stretch marks on my stomach and proudly exclaimed, "Bacon!" After talking with my husband, he admitted that he agreed with our son's evaluation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 170

Today, I went to a very nice reception at a hotel. I glanced inside the ballroom and saw that no one else was in there and, not wanting to be the first one there, I walked past and into the stairway. Turns out, I had walked into the emergency exit stairs and had to set off the alarm to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 023

You deserved it 49 072

Today, I put my picture into a celebrity look alike website. The three matches that came up were Barbra Streisand, Hillary Clinton, and Boy George. I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 671

You deserved it 7 312

Today, I was bet 100 dollars that I couldn't break a piece off a brick with my head. I couldn't, and I have 2 gashes in my head now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 906

You deserved it 73 108