Health: Today, I discovered I have a cyst on my backside. I can't get... - FML

By Britney - 24/10/2011 22:06 - United States

Today, I discovered I have a cyst on my backside. I can't get it removed until Friday. I have to sit through four midterms this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 520

You deserved it 2 358

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Same thing different taste

My body is ruining my life

By Anonymous - 19/05/2022 22:00

Today, I have six exams next week, and as of this morning, I also have appendicitis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 70

By hurtinrealbad - 16/10/2012 17:25 - United States - Tempe

Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 124

You deserved it 1 976

Padded out

By Ian - 18/04/2009 14:24 - United States

Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards, the doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a Maxi Pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a Maxi Pad on my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 889

You deserved it 6 482

Hang in there

By Trinity - 11/05/2023 06:00

Today, I have been dealing with painful lymphedema and I'd finally got a doctor's appointment, but they called and cancelled last minute. Here's to another week being in pain… FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 82

Pain in the ass

By Anonymous - 17/06/2021 22:01 - United States - Greenville

Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 127

Rock and a hard place

By Mo. - 03/10/2020 01:13 - United States

Today, I found out my postpartum pain is indeed because of a cyst. No, my doctors can’t drain it and relive the pain because of scar tissue. And yes, it hurts around my lady bits and in my butthole, because the cyst wraps around everything. It’s either wait it out in extreme pain or surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 250

You deserved it 192

By Anonymous - 18/10/2011 20:35 - United States

Today, I found out I have an abscess in my bellybutton which causes me extreme pain and discomfort when I sit down. I am a receptionist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 155

You deserved it 2 670

By my face though - 25/01/2016 17:04 - United States - Kettle Falls

Today, I had to leave class early due to a profusely bleeding pimple on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 828

You deserved it 2 456

The View

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was forced to spend three hours looking at a fat guy's butt crack, seated directly in front of me during an exam. I'm pretty sure it lowered my grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 364

You deserved it 7 925

By Anonymous - 03/10/2010 18:52 - United States

Today, I found out that instead of having four wisdom teeth, I have eight. They all have to be removed as soon as possible, which happens to be over the Christmas break. I get to spend my whole vacation in excruciating pain and a swollen face to boot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 830

You deserved it 3 272

Next

Top comments

blackheart24 10

Tuesday 25 October 2011 1:16

I trust the doctor.

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 25 October 2011 1:12

No, that's an abscess (pus-filled horror show). A cyst is a sac with a lining filled with fluid or debris, depending on the type of cyst.

Comments

LecheeBubble 0

Tuesday 25 October 2011 2:25

Videotape the procedure it and post it on YouTube.

perdix 29

Tuesday 25 October 2011 2:28

Take your midterms squatting. You'll avoid putting pressure on your ass pimple, and you'll be building awesome quads. Of course, you'll fail all your tests because your thighs will be on fire. Otherwise, take your tests standing up -- you'll be able to see others' papers more easily ;)

Fjweinbk_fml 2

Tuesday 25 October 2011 2:33

Get a doctor note so you can take it lying on your stomach

lizard399 0

Tuesday 25 October 2011 2:34

Sounds uncomfortable.. but at least you're getting it removed.

xenthenk 1

Tuesday 25 October 2011 2:54

Had one of those this summer! It sucks! Had to sit at a desk all day! My thoughts are with you.

Calyx_fml 21

Tuesday 25 October 2011 2:54

Stand.

twinb76 7

Tuesday 25 October 2011 3:11

You still wouldn't be able to sit on your ass this week, even if they removed it today. They hurt a lot, even after removed!

iyazwoodfle 4

Tuesday 25 October 2011 3:15

I just got one cut out of my mouth on Friday...

SummerFever 8

Tuesday 25 October 2011 3:55

Mouth? That must've hurt terribly.

towboater198425 6

Tuesday 25 October 2011 3:20

Twofirstnames backside means ass retard!

imsoscrewd 2

Tuesday 25 October 2011 3:21

I had one on my neck and it didnt hurt. I also had one behind my knee it also didnt hurt

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The Top

Today, it's only day three of my annual vacation. Rest and relaxation? Afraid not! For the past days, I've been haunted by the constant thought of how much work will be piled up when I get back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 139

Today, the girl I love who friendzoned me called to talk. She shared the marvelous things she'd done for her friend's birthday, then said, "You had a recent birthday too." Then she laughed. We'd talked multiple times without her mentioning my birthday. She ignored it on Facebook. Time for no contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 183

The Top

Today, I asked my daughter what time it was. She stared at the clock for several seconds before muttering, "I don't know". She's 14 years old and on the honour roll, and yet she can't tell the time on an analogue clock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 959

You deserved it 12 896

Today, I saw an old man struggling with three bags, so I offered to carry them for him. He must not have heard me because when I bent down to take the bags, he thought I was stealing them and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 239

You deserved it 4 097

Today, I visited my dad. He gave the, "You live under my roof, you follow my rules" lecture since I didn't do my "chores". I moved out 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 530

You deserved it 3 628

Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 047

You deserved it 3 817

Today, I finally found a place to stay after being kicked out by my parents. The psycho owner waited till now to tell me that my bathroom door will remain locked at all times, and that whenever I want to go in there, I have to ask him to unlock it, then do my business while he waits outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 746

You deserved it 3 667

Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 401

You deserved it 65 844