Intimacy: Today, I discovered that nothing kills a wet dream faster than...

By JohnB - 20/10/2009 00:43 - United States

Today, I discovered that nothing kills a wet dream faster than a kitten who pounces on things that wiggle under the blanket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 856

You deserved it 4 226

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By jenA - 21/08/2012 13:04 - United States - Russellville

Today, I realized the fastest way to wake up isn't from an alarm clock. It's from the warm, wet sensation of your old and senile cat peeing on you and your bed. I swear he was smiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 860

You deserved it 2 992

Wake up, human!

By inveralaska - 16/06/2016 21:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a kitten. She decided to sleep on my bed, waking me up periodically during the night by biting my face to make sure I was still alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 044

You deserved it 2 358

By meowmeow - 21/09/2010 04:38 - Australia

Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 778

You deserved it 31 288

Alone time

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 14:00

Today, I had some unexpected alone time for the first time in months and decided to *ahem* play with an adult toy. As things were getting close to the end, my cat jumped up on the bed, saw the movement under the blanket and immediately pounced on my downstairs, puncturing certain delicate areas with his claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 334

By Fykkhttdsetkkhvln - 26/04/2009 16:45 - United States

Today, I was snuggling with my neighbors four week old kitten while babysitting their kids. I fell asleep, rolled over, and woke up next to a dead kitten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 798

You deserved it 58 162

By Anonymous - 21/08/2015 08:33 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was putting the cat outside. He wouldn't go, so I kicked him. Then I woke up to my husband screaming. I’d been dreaming, and the "cat" I kicked was his family jewels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 689

You deserved it 9 174

By Cat Piss - 15/12/2013 16:58 - United States - Lavon

Today, I was woken up to the sound of my cat peeing on the pillow next to mine. When I yelled at him, he jumped over my face and off the bed. He was still peeing the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 679

You deserved it 6 883

Surprise, wanker!

By pussnboots - 16/07/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, as I was feeling frisky, I started to jack off. I was about to come when my cat attacked my hand and nether regions under the blanket. I really got the pussy, didn’t I? FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 212

No kinkshaming on FML

By Anonymous - 31/07/2013 16:28 - Belgium - Ieper

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 706

You deserved it 9 332

By Allie cat - 02/12/2016 13:43

Today, while in deep sleep, I was suddenly awoken by a tickle on my face and nearly threw my cat off the bed. Apparently, 4 a.m. Is the perfect time to touch noses with your human. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 481

You deserved it 1 580

allmidnighteyes 10

Tuesday 20 October 2009 9:41

That's the only, and the youngest pussy you're ever gonna get.

TaterSalad187 5

Tuesday 20 October 2009 14:19

Haha, sorta ironic. Who ever would of thought that pussy would kill a wet dream?

Comments

muffinz85 0

Saturday 31 October 2009 14:10

lmao thats funny.

Aw_Frick 5

Wednesday 4 November 2009 22:17

Ha, ha. Fail.

Aw_Frick 5

Wednesday 4 November 2009 22:19

Ha, ha. Fail.

emilialoriana_fml 0

Saturday 7 November 2009 10:35

pussy cat :)

pomlaos 0

Monday 14 December 2009 7:41

I lol at just the thought of it.

omg2funny 1

Sunday 3 January 2010 20:57

There is a "Confucius" saying on this: man with boner & kitten at home, wake up in great pain.

hickboy 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 5:43

hahaha epic!!!!

cherriblizz 0

Saturday 23 January 2010 18:00

That pussy wanted you. Was it wet too?

Sekococo 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 6:04

:D meow

cutiepie11 0

Sunday 7 February 2010 2:12

ewwww that's ******* gross

Keywords

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 652

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I agree, your life sucks 16 762

You deserved it 33 656

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