Miscellaneous: Today, I dove head-first underneath my garage door, narrowly...

By Anonymous - 14/01/2012 00:09 - Sweden

Today, I dove head-first underneath my garage door, narrowly missing both the sensor and the closing door, executing a perfect roll, and popping back up onto my feet unscathed. My smugness went through the floor as I remembered I'd left my keys back in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 050

You deserved it 15 249

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

I'm so tired

By slapstick1982 - 30/05/2024 03:00 - United States - Port Washington

Today, after double-checking to make sure the garage door was completely open, I backed my car into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 270

Stealth mode activated

By KeithFFS - 21/10/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I sneaked out of work early. I tripped over my own feet while walking up to my car. As I fell, I managed to hit the panic button on my car keys, setting off my car alarm while I lay flat on the ground in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 510

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 09/01/2022 06:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 309

By Masey - 17/09/2009 12:46 - United States

Today, I was running late for work. As I hurried out the door, I managed to trip over my own feet, fall off the front porch, and key my new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 398

You deserved it 7 514

By Anonymous - 19/09/2014 08:58 - Belgium

Today, in a rush to get out of my house to go to a doctor's appointment, I closed the door behind me without having my house or car keys on me. Sadly, it took me less than a minute to break into my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 084

You deserved it 6 037

By Ouch - 22/05/2009 15:16 - United States

Today, as I was closing my car door, I realized I had left the keys in the ignition. Not wanting to lock myself out, I reached to stop the door from closing. Not only did I scream when the door slammed on my hand, but in my furious pain, I leaned on the door, locking my keys inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 435

You deserved it 13 264

Rush hour

By lateforwork - 02/09/2019 14:00

Today, whilst heading out the door to go to work, my lanyard got caught on the doorknob inside, and I watched my keys swing back inside as the door closed behind me. It was locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 736

You deserved it 252

By Lil_bit - 04/01/2010 05:05 - France

Today, I backed into our new garage door. The same new garage door that we purchased because I broke our old one by backing into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 739

You deserved it 44 475

Stuck

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 352

You deserved it 5 251

By LilaTheGreat - 05/05/2013 23:51 - United States - Boyd

Today, I got into a car crash, in my own garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 531

You deserved it 44 218

NuTrees 9

Saturday 14 January 2012 5:48

That's when you use your skills to get back into the house. You know up the tree, onto the ledge... You know!

Damn_Hippster 11

Saturday 14 January 2012 6:01

That's some Indian Jones shit right there. I wouldn't even care about the keys as long as at least one person saw that.

Comments

irtgarme002 4

Saturday 14 January 2012 5:52

Way to go, Indiana Doh'nes.

LookOnBrightSide 12

Saturday 14 January 2012 6:41

Was I the only one humming the Indiana Jones theme song to this? That theme song was surely a classic.

ohSNAPyall 26

Saturday 14 January 2012 17:54

Personally, this comment makes me think of the Simpsons version where Bart is escaping to the school bus.

Pentium_4 27

Saturday 14 January 2012 5:52

you have a security camera that recorded that? i wouldn't mind seeing that

CVeNgineer 0

Saturday 14 January 2012 5:54

Indiana Jones style!!

ifailplzinsultme 0

Saturday 14 January 2012 5:57

That would of been badass. You know, if you wern't a dumbass first.

Strafeh 9

Saturday 14 January 2012 5:57

Did your smugness come with you out the garage and miss? Is that why it's on the floor?

DocBastard 38

Saturday 14 January 2012 5:59

You're like Indiana Jones' idiot brother. Montana Jones?

unoffensivename 0

Saturday 14 January 2012 6:09

Nebraska Smith?

zombicidal 11

Saturday 14 January 2012 6:20

Utah Rogers

LookOnBrightSide 12

Saturday 14 January 2012 6:38

Iowa Jackson.

Insane_Tea 15

Saturday 14 January 2012 7:06

Richard O' Connell

sheethapins 13

Saturday 14 January 2012 7:31

Idaho Dickinson.

ohSNAPyall 26

Saturday 14 January 2012 8:37

Tennessee Williams?

aksweetheart 7

Saturday 2 June 2012 10:22

well if they are brothers, they most likely have the same last name, so I would stick with Montana Jones, or Iowa Jones(if you want to stock with the same initials)(: