Health: Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my...

By jmac - 11/03/2012 03:06 - United States

Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 417

You deserved it 4 302

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By zztopspinner - 14/03/2012 19:11 - United States

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 710

You deserved it 36 527

Not my day, is it?

By ouch. - 10/12/2018 09:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 733

You deserved it 347

By Anonymous - 20/07/2016 06:40 - United States - Seattle

Today, I dropped my knitting project while I was sitting down, but I managed to catch it between my legs. So my knitting needles also caught me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 669

You deserved it 1 380

By HarvestMoon_gal - 24/07/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 106

You deserved it 10 661

By Anonymous - 06/09/2017 07:00 - United States - Eugene

Today, while showing off the sharpness of my new katana, I missed my target and hit my shoe. The strike cut into the second toe of my right foot, which then had to be amputated. Demonstration successful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 823

You deserved it 5 007

Slice of life

By Eleanor - 19/02/2017 23:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 896

You deserved it 627

Put it away

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 22:00

Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 985

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 989

Spice

By Anonymous - 07/04/2021 04:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 977

By sashimi9999 - 07/02/2014 01:32 - United States - Salinas

Today, while cleaning a carpet in my house, something in it sliced my foot. I couldn't find what it was, so I went to clean the wound. 10 minutes later, I sliced my foot again on the same thing. I still can't figure out what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 247

You deserved it 5 883

punk6743 0

Sunday 11 March 2012 9:54

I used to cook, then i took a chefs knife to the knee.

PYLrulz 17

Sunday 11 March 2012 9:53

Ok, how many of those godforsaken "Arrow to Knee" jokes, or modified versions of it, will there be?!?

Comments

friisen_ 0

Sunday 11 March 2012 15:41

Fus ro dah!

zebralover23 14

Sunday 11 March 2012 16:45

Ow that would of hurt really bad if it landed on the foot though.

Swiftly 0

Sunday 11 March 2012 16:47

I used to make arrow to the knee jokes like you, but then I took as lady to the bed. ;)

Termanator141 12

Sunday 11 March 2012 16:53

I used to be a cooker like you then i took a knife to te knee

hateevryone 14

Sunday 11 March 2012 16:53

you'll live

Petey_Piie 1

Sunday 11 March 2012 17:07

At least it wasn't an arrow ;)

karmicsamadi86 9

Sunday 11 March 2012 17:39

Oh, snap!!

ArmoredDuckling 0

Sunday 11 March 2012 17:45

At least it wasn't an arrow.

Chad_the_Brony 0

Sunday 11 March 2012 18:11

Now you'll have to stop cooking and become a guard.

james3458 3

Tuesday 13 March 2012 14:28

then your cousins will be out fighting dragons, and you? guard duty.

tastycat 0

Sunday 11 March 2012 18:11

I used to be a cook like you...

bizarre_ftw 21

Monday 12 March 2012 7:50

But then you quit to peruse a career in dead Internet jokes? Oh you're doing so well for yourself *pats on back*

Keywords

Awkward Weddings Miscellaneous Love My ex AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Health Relatable Mental health Therapy Argument Thanksgiving Parenting Kids Covid Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 30 670

You deserved it 4 364

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 13 855

You deserved it 61 935

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I agree, your life sucks 3 897

You deserved it 474

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I agree, your life sucks 2 563

You deserved it 7 935

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I agree, your life sucks 39 463

You deserved it 5 765

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I agree, your life sucks 41 982

You deserved it 3 510

Today, my brother hugged me for the first time. Turns out he was patting me down to make sure I didn't have cigarettes. Love you too, bro. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 818

You deserved it 2 660