Health: Today, I entered a hotdog eating contest. I made it up to two,...

FML for mobile
Free

Open in app

By Weak Disposition - 27/04/2012 04:29 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I entered a hotdog eating contest. I made it up to two, threw up on the rest of them, and fell over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 314

You deserved it 29 633

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By MGDS - 14/12/2013 05:52 - United States - Pine Grove

Today, I had to take an oral examination. I made it to the last part of the exam, then violently threw up in the middle of my answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 201

You deserved it 3 270

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 558

You deserved it 265

By wrestling probs - 26/05/2015 02:24 - United States

Today, I was wrestling in a tournament. I was in the finals about to win when the kid threw up on me. They thought I'd hit him in the stomach hard enough to make him throw up, so they disqualified me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 771

You deserved it 2 017

By laurenmichela - 12/10/2015 21:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from throwing up, a fly flew into my mouth and I ate it. I then promptly threw up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 640

You deserved it 2 098

By ashhatches - 27/06/2011 19:15 - United States

Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 427

You deserved it 62 569

Was it worth it?

By Anonymous - 05/09/2023 00:02

Today, I had a stomach bug, but despite it I swallowed a mouthful of habanero sauce on a dare. I ended up projectile vomiting on a wall outside, lost my sense of balance and fell over on the sidewalk, almost blacked out from the tightness in my chest, and had to refuse an ambulance that somebody had called. All for $5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 1 290

By Anonymous - 18/12/2010 05:16 - United States

Today, after struggling with anorexia for months, I got food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 134

You deserved it 7 551

By TLJ321 - 18/05/2012 07:41

Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 615

You deserved it 58 917

By gingerbread - 18/12/2017 18:00 - Armenia - Yerevan

Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 997

You deserved it 3 722

By Bigfoot - 02/09/2017 01:30

Today, I participated in an obstacle course. As I was going over a set of monkey bars, my balls got crushed between the bar and my gut. I barely managed to get down before blacking out in the middle of the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 989

You deserved it 404

alstbv12 13

Friday 27 April 2012 10:41

At least people now can't make the joke that you're used to a bunch of wieners in your mouth.

AugustBurnsToast 14

Friday 27 April 2012 10:43

You are the weakest link.

Comments

mgg058 4

Saturday 28 April 2012 20:11

Lmao WIMP !

pexy_fml 16

Saturday 28 April 2012 23:15

You win ?

pexy_fml 16

Saturday 28 April 2012 23:19

For those complaining about if it's 2 or 3, we are not in court it just a fun thing, don't cry and make a big deal no one is going to blame you for not saving the holy truth

hateevryone 14

Saturday 28 April 2012 23:20

Well you win then.

TheNinjaBacon 8

Sunday 29 April 2012 3:25

Only two? Man, thats wat i eat on a normal basis!!! U must be skinny or something!

trillwill19 2

Sunday 29 April 2012 16:26

This made me straight up laugh out loud for some reason....

writergirl23 19

Sunday 29 April 2012 23:14

On the bright side, they won't make you fat

belbreanna 2

Wednesday 2 May 2012 5:02

Accomplishment!

CoconutSoup 5

Monday 7 May 2012 20:55

Just shut up NoorFML

SkoomaKi 27

Friday 10 August 2012 1:44

^ You shut up, ever commented while you're sleep deprived and falling asleep? - it's not pretty. Cut her some slack you jackass.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Embarrassing Relatable Work Health Sports Scary Dentist Management Kids Parents Awkward Covid Exams Cops Cheating Love Break-ups Grandparents Cute Miscellaneous Neighbours Annoying Birthday Weird Intimacy Sex Movies Injury Friends Food

The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I were both at home, sick. We decided to make the best of it and spent the day in bed together. Things got a little steamy, and we started making out. As I started kissing her neck, I got nauseous. Before I could pull away, I threw up all over her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 463

You deserved it 18 125

Today, I caught my girlfriend of a year texting her ex, asking if she was enough for him sexually. He responded in detail about all their sexual activities, but she says I’m overreacting and shouldn’t keep throwing it in her face. Am I wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 772

You deserved it 209

The Top

Today, I got a gift from my wife. It was a beautiful watch. The same exact watch I'd sold to our local jewelers for 6k. She bought it for 10k. When I told her, she said, "Hmmm, I thought it looked familiar." There goes 4K from our joint account. I could’ve thought of 4000 ways to spend that money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 685

Today, my twice-divorced boomer mother made another passive-aggressive remark about my partner and I not being married, despite our 13-year relationship. What is this, 1950? We don't care about marriage, deal with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 297

Today, the CEO of my company wanted to meet with me. I was excited until I found out she just wanted to bitch me out and personally fire me. Later on, I found out my boss had totally shafted me and blamed the failure of a big project on me instead of admitting it was all his fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 183

You deserved it 1 266

Today, I went shopping with my Mom. I ran into my crush. A school dance is soon and he WAS just about to ask something but my mom glanced over and yelled "TAMPONS OR PADS, SWEETIE?!" He then changed his question to "Haha, so which?" And before I could say a word, my mother answered for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 016

You deserved it 3 670

Today, I went to a gathering at a friend's place. He had a bottle of "mead", which I tried and loved. Only after drinking two glasses did I learn that "mead" is made from honey. Eight years of dedicated veganism down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 1 196

Today, I found out the reason I can't get a job. My previous employer didn't know my name, so when places I applied to called there for a reference, my boss said he had no recollection of me working there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 989

You deserved it 3 487

Same thing different taste

Wardrobe change please

Was it worth it?

Top comments

Comments