well maybe the op's guy was acting very secretive and suspicious! she had to find out somehow

For all of you defending the husband: a lack of trust is NOT grounds on which to cheat with several people. That's just ridiculous. If this were about trust and communication, it could be solved more easily. Maybe, I don't know, talking about it. FYL, because cheating is never justified. Next time, maybe hire a private investigator.

Hhaha probably the first one

YDI for not being trustworthy

Definitely the former.

I don't condone snooping in his account, and if you were doing so there are obvious trust issues anyway , but I *hate* when people cheat. Absolutely abhor it. It is my number one most despised thing when it comes to relationships. If you are unhappy in your relationship, LEAVE. You had NO right to check his e-mail, but that does not mean you deserve to have your husband cheat on you in any way, and anyone who says otherwise needs to reorganise their priorities. I am sure you are not a complete angel in the relationship with no faults, but people need to realise that no matter who does what, it *never* justifies cheating. It is only selfish and cowardly. Your husband should have had the balls to tell you he was unhappy to the point of wanting to be with other people, and allowed you to decide together if you want to try to fix things, or end things. It is completely unfair to hide shit from the other person and string them along because you don't have the balls to just end things. By allowing them to remain with you when you are clearly unhappy and ******* other people, you are wasting time they could be using to find someone who is right for them. Not telling someone you are breaking your marriage vows is akin to lying to their face every second of every minute of every day until the moment you tell them. This FML pisses me off. I hope to **** you do not allow him to convince you that it was in any way your fault (cheating is *never* justified), and I certainly hope you get out of this "relationship" and find someone whom you actually trust, and who cares about you in return.

Thats really horrible! I feel for you babe. Hope you find someone who treats you well.

I know it's got to hurt, but I have to say you deserve it. Not that you deserve to be cheated on, but if you suspect your husband is cheating, and then break into his email and generally go snooping around, you deserve the resulting shock of finding out the way you did. A marriage is nothing without trust. Everyone is saying you're to blame because you didn't trust him; I would say far worse than the fact that you didn't trust he wasn't cheating on you is the fact that you didn't trust him enough to sit him down, and be open and honest about how you felt. He may have been cheating, but he is still your husband, and you're still his wife, until you both decide there's nothing worth trying to salvage. My wife and I are going through a very similar situation right now, and it's only because she trusted me enough to tell me exactly how she was feeling that I was able to trust her enough to tell her how I was feeling in our marriage. A relationship of 10+ years nearly ended, simply because we didn't open up to each other like that. But since we have, I realize now just how desperately I need her just to be able to live every day, I realize how important she is, and I fight every moment of every day to keep her in my life.

tl; dr

I moderated this one! sorry about that, it has to stink. maybe he had the email b4 he broke up w/ her, and was to lazy to change the password. I feel for you sweetie.