you're ******* nuts for sitting there trying to figure out his password. don't marry him if you don't trust him. simple.

Marriage is not about if someone lets themselves go or are they still sexually appealing, you do know y'all WILL get older right. You won't stay that way forever? Some people get bigger, some don't. Not cause for cheating, because if love is something that keeps a marriage bound then if you are simply going to throw away that trust for appearances then you had no love.

Maybe the fact that you are the kind of person that hacks into their spouses email could be the reason why he's cheating on you.

#!25- You do not get a "However," when it comes to cheating. You cheated. There are ABSOLUTELY. NO. excuses for that. You took a vow, and you did not honor it. Marriage has nothing to do with the physical appearance of your spouse. It's time to stop excusing the inexcusable behavior of terrible people.

Everyone is NOT entitled to live the way they see fit. Is it ok for adults to force themselves on little children sexually? Of course not. There is truth in what you're trying to say. There are several relationship dynamics that can be successful depending on the personalities of a given couple. People shouldn't assume that their view will work for everyone or that their way is the only way. That being said, people are only entitled to do what societal (or relationship) rules deem acceptable. Your simplification/exaggeration is a popular mindset that acts like poison to society when disseminated.

It's absolutely disgusting to me that everyone is defending such an obviously terrible human being.

If you would properly read my comment (or at least the first sentence), you would see that I did NOT excuse his behavior. I was explaining to another poster that physical attraction IS indeed important in a relationship. It's time for women to stop fooling themselves with the idea that how they take care of themselves doesn't matter.

I know what's worse: having someone violate your personal privacy. YDI.

That's completely fine, but it sounds as though you and your husband also communicated at some point, at least to lay down some ground rules. You communicated, and so you have some reasonable expectation of privacy. However, you have to admit that a lot of couples never have those conversations, and THAT's where the problems occur- one partner has some expectation of privacy, and the other doesn't recognize that expectation, and so unknowingly violates it. In fact, most problems in a relationship can be boiled down to poor communication and differences in expectations (which can actually be resolved with better communication). However, we're getting off topic here. OP, I'm not saying you need to just instantly forgive and forget (forgiving =/= forgetting). However, if you are both willing to try, you CAN make it through this, and possibly even come out stronger. Remember: marriage is not a concrete thing. Just as you can have good days and bad days, so can your relationship. The important thing, though, is that you both have to be willing to work on it. I would also suggest, OP, that you read "Out of the Shadows", by Patrick Carnes. Your husband may not be a sex addict (or he could be, I don't know), but either way, this would be an excellent place to start in trying to figure out where to go from here. Even if it seems a book on sex addiction doesn't relate to what you're going through at all, it would be helpful to read, to help you understand your own mind. (Note: I am not pinning any blame for the cheating on you, OP; nor am I somehow claiming that you have a problem. But this book, even if the subject matter itself doesn't relate, can certainly help you to think clearly and understand your thoughts.)

Well, I guess this is what you get for being a nosy bitch! THERE ARE PASSWORDS ON THINGS FOR A REASON! What you did IS in fact ILLEGAL! People like you deserve misfortune.