Animals: Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently,...

By ghoul - 08/03/2011 11:32

Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 852

You deserved it 4 242

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Same thing different taste

It's alive!

By notmyrealname123 - 25/08/2014 00:08 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 730

You deserved it 6 431

By Anonymous - 07/12/2012 15:30 - United States

Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 703

You deserved it 18 302

By "jonnybones223" - 08/03/2019 04:00

Today, I was awakened by my father saying how proud he was of his little boy. I assumed he meant me, since I landed an apprenticeship in the same union he's worked in for 25 years. Turns out he was speaking about his cat, who left a dead squirrel next to my bed. I stepped on the damn thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 260

You deserved it 224

By Sid - 10/04/2011 00:58 - United States

Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 702

You deserved it 41 773

Cute

By eyesightfail - 21/11/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 486

You deserved it 15 525

By Noname - 27/01/2009 19:42 - Ireland

Today, I found the family's pet hamster under my mattress, he's been missing for six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 927

You deserved it 3 207

By Facepalmum - 10/01/2013 06:28 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 590

You deserved it 7 939

By tiredmom - 07/07/2016 15:03 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my son found a cockroach in his bed. I had to kill the thing and wash all his sheets and stuffed animals before he'd finally agree to go back to bed, three hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 344

You deserved it 1 596

By orilykid - 31/10/2012 17:23 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 099

You deserved it 1 961

By Anonymous - 20/06/2013 16:54 - Pakistan - Lahore

Today, I discovered the source of the vile stench in my room. My daughter had "saved" a bird from our cat and put it in a box under my bed, hoping to nurse it back to health. She forgot about it, leaving the corpse rotting in there for who knows how long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 737

You deserved it 3 443

savy7093 9

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:04

What's his name?

Ranimal 12

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:05

Future serial killer!

Comments

sourgirl101 28

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:17

That's nuts! Did he want to love it, and pet it and call him George?

Alleged_Cranium 7

Tuesday 8 March 2011 18:20

That's for bunny rabbits, not for squirrels.

ulicksam 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:17

How bad must your place stink if you don't smell a dead squirrel for a week?

blad786 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:24

hope it doesn't have SQUAIDS!

smellymellyy 7

Wednesday 9 March 2011 18:14

Raywilliamjohnson referance FTW!!!

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:27

Would you rather have found his blowup doll under his bed?

sourgirl101 28

Tuesday 8 March 2011 17:14

Psst, that one's hidden in the closet.(:

robotiick 12

Thursday 17 March 2011 1:17

lol good point

seahorses4eva 4

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:29

How old is your son? That sort of determines how I feel about this post.

bryanorange 3

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:29

thats not strange at all

elabby90 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:39

Serial killer in the making tahahaahha:) well that is if he's the one who killed squirrel

amber_dawn12 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:43

aww... poor thing

2010smhill2010 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:46

i moderated this

NJXD 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 16:52

he should call him mr stickyhead like off of family guy lol

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The Top

Today, my wife has video of me asleep on the sofa, clearly having a vivid sex dream, with a raging erection, ending with me having an orgasm that soaked through the front of my shorts, leaving a wet spot, which she helpfully zoomed in on just to really illustrate my shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 181

Today, my father bet me $200 that since my boyfriend is "such a stupid shit," he wouldn't be able to locate Paraguay on a map. I gladly accepted the bet. Not only did he not know where it is, he actually accused us of making the country up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 905

You deserved it 13 915

The Top

Today, I came home early from work and caught my husband cheating red-handed, in bed with the other woman. His reaction was, “I was just joking!” and asked the other woman what she was doing here, and asked her to leave. Seriously? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 756

You deserved it 144

Today, my crazy mother-in-law threatened to camp out outside my house so she will "never get left out" of our lives, all because we called instead of sending a written invitation to my three-year-old's birthday party. I actually believe she's crazy enough to do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 156

You deserved it 1 868

Today, after calling my boyfriend and telling him that my dog had just died, he hesitated and stuttered, "She was old, sick, and suffering. Babe, it was her time to go." He then informed me he had to go to his friend's house and hung up. My dog was two years-old, in great health, and was hit by a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 487

You deserved it 2 974

Today, I asked my boyfriend if I looked alright for our date. He said, "Honey, you look fine, just don't go out in public like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 35

Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 839

You deserved it 3 514

Today, I have so much daily anxiety and functional depression that it takes a lot to want to do anything. Thank goodness it’s Friday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 194

Same thing different taste

It's alive!

Cute

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