Miscellaneous: Today, I found cigarette butts at the bottom of the toaster....

By Macy - 11/06/2011 20:36 - Italy

Today, I found cigarette butts at the bottom of the toaster. My mother has been dropping them in there for I don't know how long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 945

You deserved it 3 376

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Same thing different taste

By alexbobalex - 11/01/2010 07:23 - Aland Islands

Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 921

You deserved it 57 634

By Anonymous - 20/04/2011 02:21 - United States

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 604

You deserved it 8 666

By Anonymous - 08/04/2011 15:30 - United States

Today, I finally found a reason to quit smoking. I threw my cigarette butt out the window and it blew back in, went down the back of my pants, and burnt my butt in 3 different places. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 926

You deserved it 54 304

It's toast

By Crying - 16/04/2017 02:00

Today, I no longer have a toaster. My younger sister put it in the bath because apparently it looked dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 773

You deserved it 370

By anon - 14/01/2013 03:00 - United States - Dublin

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 960

You deserved it 3 679

By Goody2shoes - 21/07/2010 16:08 - India

Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 796

You deserved it 47 149

By thebravelittletoaster - 20/03/2011 20:32 - United Kingdom

Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 363

You deserved it 9 861

Smoking is bad

By ID10t - 10/11/2009 05:24 - United States

Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work; I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 812

You deserved it 53 876

By 12693 - 24/10/2012 17:35 - Australia - Perth

Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 575

You deserved it 2 107

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 04:07 - United States - Mccomb

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 181

You deserved it 3 528

holagranola 15

Sunday 12 June 2011 0:25

maybe you should explain to her that toasters, are for toast.

The_Weirdo 10

Sunday 12 June 2011 4:01

74. commenting fail?

Comments

ohSNAPyall 26

Sunday 12 June 2011 0:31

buy her an ashtray

ohSNAPyall 26

Sunday 12 June 2011 0:34

and put it beside the toaster powdered.. toast.. maaaaaan!

User1518 6

Sunday 12 June 2011 0:33

I'd get a new toaster if I were you. By the way, maybe that's not the only "ashtray" she's been using. *shudder*

YacL 15

Sunday 12 June 2011 0:33

Mmm... cigarette toast.

YourDone6 8

Sunday 12 June 2011 0:33

she need her nicotine fix somehow even if it means flavoring her toast

Arexos 0

Sunday 12 June 2011 0:38

I guess it's a healthier way of getting her fix...

amrik 11

Sunday 12 June 2011 0:34

it smells like victory!!

ImInABox 6

Sunday 12 June 2011 0:38

Yum. That'll kick your nicotine addiction.

demetrius19 7

Sunday 12 June 2011 0:43

sucks...

MrSexyPants 14

Sunday 12 June 2011 0:43

You didn't smell them?

perdix 29

Sunday 12 June 2011 0:46

That's better than butter. Your mom is just making you more efficient, helping you get your gluten and nicotine fixes in one shot.

lmaoatall 6

Sunday 12 June 2011 0:50

your mother is an ashhole for doing that. hope she doesn't pick up chew. that's some nasty ass stuff there. then you have to watch what you drink.

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Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 80

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 596

You deserved it 9 209

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 118

Today, I need to know whether it's better to be in a relationship in which I'm not loved and have no intimacy, or live on my own with no family or friends. if I were alone though, I could live in my underwear and eat cereal for dinner if I wanted to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 175

Today, it was my first day as a promoted manager. I got fired for being late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 780

You deserved it 42 877

Today, I went downstairs to complain to my landlady that there was no water when I was trying to wash my hair. To which she replied, "No, of course there is water, it's just all going into my swimming pool." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 715

You deserved it 113

Today, a neighbor's kid decided to pick a fight with me because I'm "the new kid in town and need to learn who's in charge". When I told him I'm 27, he said excuses like that aren't going to get me off the hook. I just moved here and I'm already being harassed by a twelve year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 354

You deserved it 4 623

Today, I ran sound for my ex's wedding rehearsal since I was the only sound tech in town. Her dad was late for the rehearsal, so the pastor had me to walk her down the aisle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 781

You deserved it 3 991

Same thing different taste

It's toast

Smoking is bad

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